翻译：风筝-(鲁迅)

翻译：风筝(鲁迅)translation:alexcwlin;edit:adam.L北京的冬季，地上还有积雪，灰黑色的秃树枝丫叉于晴朗的天空中，而远处有一二风筝浮动，在我是一种惊异和悲哀。ItiswintertimeinBeijing.Thegroundiscoveredwiththicksnow.Leaflesstree-branchesingreyish-blackcolorreachintotheclearsunnysky.Acoupleofkitesfloatinghighintheairatdistancesaddlemewithafeelingofbewildermentandmelancholy.***************************************************故乡的风筝时节，是春二月，倘听到沙沙的风轮声，仰头便能看见一个淡墨色的蟹风筝或嫩蓝色的蜈蚣风筝。Thekite-flyingseasonofmyhometownisaroundFebruaryinspringtime.Ifyouhappentohearrustlingsoundofwind-wheels,lookupandyouwouldseeagrayish-blackcrab-shapedkiteoralight-bluecentipede-shapedkite.还有寂寞的瓦片风筝，没有风轮，又放得很低，伶仃地显出憔悴可怜的模样。Thereisalsothesolitarytile-shapedkitewhichdoesn’thavewind-wheels.Helplesslyitfliesatlowaltitudewithaworn-outandpiteouslook.但此时地上的杨柳已经发芽，早的山桃也多吐蕾，和孩子们的天上的点缀相照应，打成一片春日的温和。Atthistime,thefoliatingwillowsandbuddingwild-peachesonthegroundcomplementthosechildren’shigh-flyingadornmentstofillawarmspring’sday.我现在在哪里呢？四面都还是严冬的肃杀，而久经诀别的故乡的久经逝去的春天，却就在这天空中荡漾了。AndwhereamInow?Iamsurroundedbybittercoldinalldirections,butthenareminderofthelong-gonespringtimeofmyhometownisnowgoingupanddowninthesky.***************************************************但我是向来不爱放风筝的，不但不爱，并且嫌恶它，因为我以为这是没出息孩子所做的玩艺。Kite-flyingisnevermycupoftea.NotonlythatIdislikeit,butIhateitwithapassionbecauseIalwaysthinkthatissomethinganunmotivatedkidwoulddo. 和我相反的是我的小兄弟，他那时大概十岁内外罢，多病，瘦得不堪，然而最喜欢风筝。Mylittlebrotheristheopposite.Atthatcertaintimehewasaroundtenyearsold,sickallthetimeandskinnyasatwig.Helovedflyingkites.自己买不起，我又不许放，他只得张着小嘴，呆看着空中出神，有时竟至于小半日。Hecouldn’taffordtobuyakite,andIwouldn’tallowhimtoflyone.Allhecoulddowastogazeattheskyinfascinationwithhismouthopen,andsometimesfordurationofalmosthalf-a-day.远处的蟹风筝突然落下来了，他惊呼；两个瓦片风筝的缠绕解开了，他高兴得跳跃。他的这些，在我看来都是笑柄，可鄙的。Whenacrab-shapedkitefromafarfelloffthesky,hewouldscreaminamazement.Whentwotile-shapedkitesbecamedisentangled,hewouldjumpupanddownforjoy.Inmyview,whathedidwaslaughableandcontemptuous.***************************************************有一天，我忽然想起，似乎多日不很看见他了，但记得曾见他在后园拾枯竹。OnedayIsuddenlyrealizedIhadn’tseenhimformanydaysbutIdidrememberseeinghimcollectfallentwigsinthebackyard.我恍然大悟似的，便跑向少有人去的一间堆积杂物的小屋去。推开门，果然就在尘封的什物堆中发现了他。Thenitdawnedonme.Irantoaseldom-visitedstorageshedandopenedthedoor.Asexpected,Ifoundhimamongapileofdust-coveredstuff.他向着大方凳，坐在小凳上；便很惊惶地站了起来，失了色瑟缩着。Hewassittingonasmallstoolfacingabigsquarechair.Hestoodupinshock;hisfaceturnedpaleandhestartedtoquiver.大方凳旁靠着一个蝴蝶风筝的竹骨，还没有糊上纸，凳上是一对做眼睛用的小风轮，正用红纸条装饰着，将要完工了。Leaningagainstthesquarechairwerethebambooribsofabutterflykiteandthepapercoverhadnotbeenpasted.Onthechairwasapairofwind-wheelsfortheeyes.Theywerebeingdecoratedwithredpaperstripsandclosetocompletion. 我在破获秘密的满足中，又很愤怒他的瞒了我的眼睛，这样苦心孤诣地来偷做没出息孩子的玩艺。我即刻伸手折断了蝴蝶的一支翅骨，又将风轮掷在地下，踏扁了。Ifeltself-satisfiedinexposinghishiddensecretandinfuriatedathimformakingextraeffortsinfoolingmetodosuchnonsensicalkid’sgame.Intheheatofallthese,Ireachedoutandbrokearibofthebutterfly’swing,andthenthrewthewind-wheelsonthefloorandsteppedonthem.论长幼，论力气，他是都敌不过我的，我当然得到完全的胜利，于是傲然走出，留他绝望地站在小屋里。后来他怎样，我不知道，也没有留心。Intermsofageandbrutestrength,hewasnotmymatch.Ofcourseitwasatotalvictoryforme.Istruttedoutandlefthimstandingintheshedindevastation.Ididn’tknoworcarewhathappenedafterwards.***************************************************然而我的惩罚终于轮到了，在我们离别得很久之后，我已经是中年。我不幸偶而看到了一本外国的讲论儿童的书，才知道游戏是儿童最正当的行为，玩具是儿童的天使。Ifinallyreceivedmyjustdeserts.LongafterwewentourownwaysandIreachedmiddleage,Iregrettablystumbleduponaforeignbookaboutchildren.Afterreadingit,Ifoundoutplayinggameswouldbenormalbehaviorforchildrenandtoyswouldbelittleangelstothem.于是二十年来毫不忆及的幼小时候对于精神的虐杀的这一幕，忽地在眼前展开，而我的心也仿佛同时变了铅块，很重很重地坠下去了。Suddenlythelong-forgottensceneinwhichImentallyabusedhimatourchildhoodagetwentyyearsagoseeminglywasreplayedrightinfrontofmyveryeyes;atthesametime,myheartsanklikeapieceofveryheavylead.***************************************************但心又不竟坠下去而至于断绝，它只是很重很重地坠着，坠着。Mysinkingheartdidn’thitbottom,butjustkeptsinkinglowerandlower.***************************************************我也知道补过的方法的：送他风筝，赞成他放，劝他放，我和他一同放。我们嚷着，跑着，笑着──然而他其时已经和我一样，早已有了胡子了。Iknewhowtomakeuptohim,suchasbuyinghimakite,encouraginghimtoflyakite,andaccompanyinghimtoflyakite.Wecouldshout,runandlaughtogether.Butbythetimehewasatthatagewithabeardjustlikeme. ***************************************************我也知道还有一个补过的方法的：去讨他的宽恕，等他说：“我可是毫不怪你呵。”那么，我的心一定就轻松了，这确是一个可行的方法。Ialsoknewanotherwayforredemption,andthatwouldbetoaskforhisforgiveness.Oncehesaid:“I’mnotabitbitteraboutyou”,thenagreatburdenwouldbeliftedoffmymind.Thatwouldbeapracticalsolution.有一回，我们会面的时候，是脸上都已添刻了许多“生”的辛苦的条纹，而我的心很沉重。Atonetimewhenwemet,ourfaceshadbeenfurrowedwiththegrindoflifeandIwasheavy-hearted.我们渐渐谈起儿时的旧事来，我便叙述到这一节，自说少年时代的糊涂。“我可是毫不怪你呵。”我想，他要说了，我即刻便受了宽恕，我的心从此也宽松了罢。Graduallyourconversationturnedtotidbitsintheolddayswhenwewerelittle.Irecountedtheepisodeandadmitteditwasayouth’sfolly.Iwasthinkinghewasabouttosay:“I’mnotabitbitteraboutyou.”ThenIwouldbeforgivenrightawayandaloadwouldbeliftedoffmymindforever.***************************************************“有过这样的事么？”他惊异地笑着说，就象旁听着别人的故事一样。他什么也记不得了。“Diditreallyhappen?”Helaughedinamazementasifhewerelisteningtosomeoneelse’sstory.Hedidn’trememberathing.***************************************************全然忘却，毫无怨恨，又有什么宽恕可言呢？无怨的恕，说谎罢了。Itwastotallyforgotten.Howcouldtherebeforgivenessiftherewasnobitterness?Tofeelgoodaboutreceivingapardonfromsomeonewithoutagrainofbitternessinheart,Imightaswelllietomyself.***************************************************我还能希求什么呢？我的心只得沉重着。WhatelsecouldIaskfor?Myheartjusthadtolivewithaheavyburden.***************************************************现在，故乡的春天又在这异地的空中了，既给我久经逝去的儿时的回忆，而一并也带着无可把握的悲哀。我倒不如躲到肃杀的严冬中去罢，──但是，四面又明明是严冬，正给我非常的寒威和冷气。Nowmyhometown’sspringisaliveintheskyofthisstrangeplace,whichalsobringsbackmemoryof mylong-gonechildhoodandaboutofirrepressiblesadness.MaybeIshouldhideawayinthebittercoldofdeepwinter;butthenagainisn’tdeepwinteralreadyeverywherearoundmeshowingmeitsextrememercilessnessandcoldness.***************************************************一九二五年一月二十四日January24th,1925