2020 年 07 月浙江英语新高考读后续写
在刚刚过去的浙江高考中,英语一科最后的读后续写,依然是人与动
物,也依然是野外遇险,与 2017 年的那篇“人狼大战”有一些相似的地
方。小编今天帮大家详细分析一下这篇题目。
2020 年 07 月浙江高考英语读后续写
One fall, my wife Elli and I had a single goal: to photograph polar bears.
We were staying at a research camp outside “the polar bear capital of the
world” — the town of Churchill in Manitoba, Canada.
Taking pictures of polar bears is amazing but also dangerous. Polar bears
— like all wild animals — should be photographed from a safe distance.
When I’m face to face with a polar bear, I like it to be through
a camera with a telephoto lens. But sometimes, that is easier said than
done. This was one of those times.
As Elli and I cooked dinner, a young male polar bear who was playing in
a nearby lake sniffed, and smelled our garlic bread.
The hungry bear followed his nose to our camp, which was surrounded by
a high wire fence. He pulled and bit the wire. He stood on his back legs
and pushed at the wooden fence posts.
Terrified, Elli and I tried all the bear defense actions we knew. We yelled
at the bear, hit pots hard, and fired blank shotgun shells into the air.
Sometimes loudnoises like these will scare bears off. Not this polar bear
though — he just kept trying to tear down the fence with his massive
paws(爪子).
I radioed the camp manager for help. He told me a helicopter was on its
way, but it would be 30 minutes before it arrived. Making the best of this
close encounter(相遇), I took some pictures of the bear.
Elli and I feared the fence wouldn’t last through 30 more minutes of the
bear’s punishment. The camp manager suggested I use pepper spray. The spray burns the bears’ eyes, but doesn’t hurt them. So I approached our
uninvited guest slowly and, through the fence, sprayed him in the face.
With an angry roar(吼叫), the bear ran to the lake to wash his eyes.
注意:
1. 所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右;
2. 至少使用 5 个短文中标有下划线的关键词语;
3. 续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;
4. 续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp…
At that very moment, the helicopter arrived…
1
文章分析
故事开端
情节:我和妻子 Elli 想拍北极熊,于是来到了加拿大的一个户外研究
营地。
情感:虽然知道北极熊是凶猛的动物,但还是心中充满期待。
情节推进
情节:我和妻子在营地烤蒜味面包,吸引来了一只年轻的雄性北极熊。
北极熊猛烈的撕咬铁丝网护栏,想找食物。我和妻子尝试各种方法,
包括制造噪音,试图把它吓走。
情感:内心非常恐惧。故事高潮
情节:我们向营地管理者求救,被告知直升机救援 30 分钟后到达,我
们可以用辣椒喷雾抵御北极熊。北极熊被喷到后跑去湖边洗眼睛,但
没过几分钟,就又跑回来了,继续袭击护栏。
情感:内心恐惧升级,有些绝望。
段首语分析
第一段段首语:A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our
camp. 几 分 钟 后 , 北 极 熊 返 回 了 营 地 。
第二段段首语:At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. 正在这个时
候,直升机来了。
通过这两段的段首语,再考虑到新高考读后续写通常都是积极的结尾,
可以初步规划两段的续写逻辑:
第一段:结合两段的段首语可以判断,第一段的内容应该围绕我和妻
子等待救援期间,如何与北极熊周旋展开。在本段,可以描写:1. 北
极熊袭击护栏;2. 二人的恐惧心理;3. 二人面对危险时采取的行动。
Tip:在原文中已经提到,二人无法通过制造噪音来吓退北极熊,而且
也不能写二人射击杀害北极熊。如果仅仅描写二人内心的恐惧,又不
是特别符合两个人的人物性格,即勇敢睿智(通过原文判断)。所以,
没有武器的两个人能够采取的行动,无外乎用营地里的东西投掷北极
熊 。 投 掷 的 东 西 , 可 以 选 择 原 文 提 到 的 ( 也 是 关 键 词 ) camera 和
bread。小编建议选 bread 以拖延时间,这样更凸显二人的机智,并且不会让二人此次旅行目的泡汤。把 camera 留给下一段,用来呼应原文
主旨,即拍摄北极熊。
第二段:根据本段段首语,可以得知,这一段应该围绕直升机对夫妇
二人的营救展开,并最终将二人成功解救。根据文中的境况,直升机
可以选择的营救方式一般有两种:1.放下绳梯(rope ladder),把二人
带离危险地带;2.用直升机制造足以吓跑北极熊的噪音,解除危险。
划线词
角色:Elli
动作:photograph, ran
形容词:safe
名词:picture, camera, bread, fence, noises, spray
2
思路拓展
构思结尾:呼应原文主旨
思考:在本篇故事中,夫妇二人的旅行目的是拍摄北极熊,那么遭遇
北极熊袭击围栏的他们,能达到目的吗?这样的经历会给他们留下什
么?
写作思路:故事的结局是二人获救了,但关于是否成功拿到北极熊的
照片,可以有不同的设计:也许在直升机用噪音吓走北极熊的时候,
夫妇拍下了终生难忘的珍贵照片;也许在与北极熊周旋的过程中,因为用相机投掷北极熊而失去照片;也许在爬绳梯的时候,相机掉落,
导致失去相片,等等。小编在写的时候,选择了第一种结局。
可能用到的划线词:camera, pictures
参 考 例 句 : Grabbing the camera, I dashed out and snapped
valuable pictures of the escaping bear, making the trip unforgettable for
the whole life.
构思如何衔接段首语
第一段首句:衔接第一段段首语
A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp. 几分钟后,北极
熊返回了营地。
思考:被辣椒水刺痛眼睛的北极熊是什么样的?本想用辣椒喷雾吓走
北极熊的二人,见到北极熊又回来了,会有什么想法和感受?
写作思路:此时的北极熊肯定被激怒了,所以会嘶吼,更猛烈的袭击
围栏。对于夫妇二人来说,深陷危险境地,救援暂时又来不了,内心
肯定是极度恐惧的。所以,衔接第一段的段首语可以从描写北极熊开
始,也可以从描写夫妇二人的心理开始。
可能用到的划线词:spray
参考例句:Irritated by the spray, the bear greeted us with a howl of rage.
第一段尾句:衔接第二段段首语
At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. 正在这个时候,直升机来了。
思考:段首语中所描述的 very moment 是什么时刻?写作思路:在第一段的结尾,需要交代清楚这个 very moment 是什么
时刻,这样衔接最流畅。可以把此刻设计为整个经历中最危险的时刻,
即北极熊马上要破围栏冲进来了。
可能用到的划线词:fence
参 考 例 句 : Suddenly, the bear had torn a narrow opening in
the fence which would collapse soon and witness the bear tear us into
pieces.
第二段首句:衔接第二段段首语
At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. 正在这个时候,直升机来了。
思考:听到直升机的声音,夫妇二人会作何反应?
写作思路:他们应该会马上跑回营地,联系飞行员。
可能用到的划线词:ran
参考例句:Hearing the helicopter, we ran back to the camp swiftly, and
radioed our savior in a trembling voice.
让作文高级的 TIP
1
修辞手法的使用
拟人:在这篇文章中,可以把北极熊拟人,描写它的 anger;也可以把
围栏拟人,描写围栏的脆弱,例如 poor fence,或用 witness 这个词描
写围栏见证北极熊的凶猛。
比喻:可以使用常见的比喻 like a flash,描写夫妇奔跑的速度,或大
脑飞速运转想办法,等。
2
环境描写在本篇故事中,最需要渲染的自然是北极熊袭击围栏时的危险场景。
可以描写时间紧迫,每分每秒都更危急;也可以使用拟人的手法描写,
周围事物(例如风声,草,等)都很紧张,间接烘托人物内心的恐惧。
3
人物心理描写
在本篇故事中,夫妇二人面对北极熊内心一定的非常恐惧的,但被直
升机解救之后,心理活动会有所变化,即感慨逃过一劫,觉得不虚此
行,可以通过直接或间接的方式,体现人物内心世界。
3
参考范文
Paragraph 1
A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp. Irritated by the
spray, the bear greeted us with a howl of rage. Ferociously, he vented his
anger upon the poor fence with all his strength and stroke terror into our
hearts. Desperate Elli and I decided to treat him to the garlic bread. We
carefully threw a small piece at a time, hoping to slow down his attack. In
imminent peril, each passing second made it more dangerous. Suddenly,
the bear had torn a narrow opening in the fence which would collapse
soon and witness the bear tear us into pieces.
Paragraph 2
At that very moment, the helicopter arrived. Hearing the helicopter, we
ran back to the camp swiftly, and radioed our savior in a trembling voice.
The pilot breathed a sigh of relief after knowing we were safe and assured
us he would take care of the bear. Hardly had we hung off the radio when
we heard noises loud enough to scare him away. Suddenly, I called to
mind our purpose of this visit: photographing polar bears. Grabbing the
camera, I dashed out and snapped valuable pictures of the escaping bear,
making the trip unforgettable for the whole life.