2021年高考英语培优计划之思维型课堂 专题12 读后续写冲突思维之构筑故事高潮

2021 年高考英语培优计划之思维型课堂 12 读后续写冲突思维之构筑故事高潮 【思维路径】 文学故事中的高潮（climax）----故事的主要场景（key scene）也通常是故事的转折点 （turning point），是指故事达到最紧张或扣人心弦的那一部分。高潮有时候是剧情中的 "危 机" 点。有时候, 它只是达到关键时刻或者转折点, 发生了一些事情, 或者主角必须做出决 定, 从而导致一个结果或其他。我们在分析叙事类故事或者小说故事的时候常常用下面的图 表来表示故事情节。 【典例赏析】 1.常见故事高潮 A little girl has been searching for her lost dog. All of a sudden, she hears a bark coming from around the corner, and she looks around to see . . . Kevin has worked very hard to try out for the soccer team at school. The coach has posted a list of this year's team members on his office door. Kevin walks forward to look at the list . . . . Mary's parents have been discussing whether or not to move to another state. They call Mary and her sister down to talk with them about their decision . . . Lois has performed in the state gymnastics finals. She waits anxiously to hear the names of the winners. The announcer says, "And first place goes to . . ." 2.文学名著中的一些故事高潮 The deaths of Romeo (who kills himself because he thinks Juliet is dead) and Juliet (who kills herself when she awakes and sees Romeo dead). Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare （《罗密欧和朱 丽叶》） When Gaston and the townspeople come to attack the beast, and Belle admits her love for the beast. Beauty and the Beast, Disney （《美女与野兽》） In "The Three Little Pigs," suspense builds up until the confrontation between the third pig and the wolf. This confrontation is the climax.（三只小猪） How to create a climax of a story? 一、高潮冲突思维 1：.增加外部冲突增加外部冲突是一种明显有效的可以达到故事高潮的 方式。冲突带来紧迫感, 将故事推向必要的解决或崩溃。 1.角色之间的冲突 (人物观点差异, 竞争需要等) 【真题再现】 （2017 年 11 月浙江英语高考）On the fourth or fifth night, we had trouble finding a hotel with a vacancy. After driving in vain for some time, Mom suddenly got a great idea: Why didn't we find a house with a likely-looking backyard and ask if we could set up tent there? David and I became nervous. 开车找旅馆---徒劳无功---母亲建议搭帐篷在他人后院---David 和我倍感紧 张，心有不悦（母子的观点不一） 2.角色与环境之间的冲突 【真题再现】 （2017 年 6 月浙江英语高考） Then Mac heard quick and loud breathing behind him. …… he saw instantly that it wasn't a dog at all, but a wolf: quickly catching up with him. Mac's heart jumped. ……, he fired the spray at the wolf. A bright red cloud enveloped the animal, and to Mac's relief, it fell back, shaking its head. But a minute later, ……. Then it ……, tearing open his tent bag. He fired at the wolf a second time, and again, it fell back …… Mac 骑车独自行，路遇 饿狼，与之搏斗，险象环生。（人（角色）----狼（环境）大战） 3.时间依赖的发展 ：决策变得紧急 【真题再现】 （2017 年 6 月浙江英语高考）The car abruptly stopped in front of him. "Get into the car." Paul shouted at Mac. Mac jumped off the bike and slid into the car without delay as the wolf was just two steps away and was about to tear Mac into pieces. What a narrow escape! 骑车突停面前 ---急喊上车---Max 上车避险---饿狼近在咫尺（此情此景，刻不容缓） 4.增加的障碍：人物角色必须克服 挑战, 以达到他们的目标 【真题再现】 （2018 年 6 月浙江英语高考）But before we jumped off the horses, we found that we had been off the beaten track and got lost. We had no idea where we were and it got dark. Exhausted and hungry, I wondered if we could find our way back. 小兔突现---马儿受惊---草原迷路（障碍 1）----天色渐黑（障碍 2）----又累又饿（障碍 3）----心理恐慌（障碍 4） 二、高潮冲突思维 2：放大内心冲突 放大内心冲突（你的角色的内心斗争）也有助于建立 一个高度紧张和不确定的时刻。 【真题再现】 （2016 年 10 月浙江英语高考） Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the forest. Jane, exhausted and scared, lay down near a stone, missing her family at a distance. All the fantastic memory crowded in and she couldn't help crying, "Hadn't I quarreled with Tom, walked away and climbed to the high place, I wouldn't be trapped in this awful place, confronted with the danger of dying.” She regretted with endless anxiety, and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes. 夫妇争吵---独自行走---荒野走散---夜色渐黑---独处森林---阴森恐怖---后悔莫及（内心冲突的 刻画）内心独白（往昔对比+虚拟语气使用+旁边描写是常见技巧之一） 三、高潮冲突思维 3：使用环境描写增加不确定性 充分利用环境描写可以起到烘托故事高 潮的作用，具体方法可以看上期读后续写微技能。当故事角色在碰到困难时候，我们往往 要加大笔墨来描写故事环境的黑暗，恐怖和不祥。强化环境描写增强了高潮元素。我们感 受到了紧张的倍增。 【典例赏析】 Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the forest( 黑 暗 ). Even worse, the temperature suddenly dropped dramatically. (寒冷） It didn’t take long for the forest to be enveloped in darkness （ 黑 暗 ） . Her rasping breath steamed（寒冷） in the moonlight and her throat was parched from thirst. 【语篇锤炼】 阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。 I believe that all humans are similar but we are all blind to this idea due to cultures, religions, and appearances that all form illusions separating us as humans. I recently had to privilege to travel to Africa. This trip allowed me to see a lot more of the world than most students my age. Two years ago, a week after completing my sophomore year in high school I flew to Nairobi, Africa. This day on June 11, 2011 I did not know what to expect. As a culturally blinded prep school student I stepped off of a plane after an exhausting twenty-three hours of sitting. I was immediately submerged into an unknown world. The language as well as skin colors, facial expressions, clothing styles, and the atmosphere changed as a whole. I was expecting this trip to create bold distinctions between the people of Africa and myself. I learned the total opposite. On the first day I bonded with the school children; I played a soccer game filled with laughter, raced between schoolhouses until our legs gave out and wouldn’t let us run anymore, and hopped in a jump rope contest with a group of enthusiastic girls. When I managed to escape from the lively children and their exciting games, I attempted to make sense of what I had just experienced. My brain was becoming swamped with thoughts, until a petite girl with a smooth complexion, shaved head, and a ripped blue and green sweater walked over and hesitantly grasped my wrist. She inspected my hands and rubbed my fingernails. She let my hands drop and she looked at her own with the same attentiveness. Her eyes rose as she began to evaluate my face. I sat down on the earth so that we were eye level and likely for interaction. She then ran her hands through my curly hair and placed her hands on her own head. Then she looked into my eyes; I looked back into hers. Captivated in the moment, I tickled her stomach, although we were both a stranger to each other. Immediately the school bell rang, she released a giggle and ran towards her classroom. 注意： 1. 所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右； 2. 应使用 5 个以上短文标有下划线的关键词语； 3. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好； 4. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词。 Paragraph 1: I watched this adolescent girl as she darted carefree towards her teachers and classmates just as I did when I was in elementary school. ________________________________________________________ Paragraph 2: This was an eye-opening experience that changed the way I see people nowadays.____________________________________________________ 【参考范文】 I watched this adolescent girl as she darted carefree towards her teachers and classmates just as I did when I was in elementary school. For some reason I felt as if I had met this girl before, but I knew this was impossible. After she had inspected me, and compared herself to me I could not stop thinking about our interaction. I wondered why this so emotional for me, and then I realized, to our surprise we were amazingly similar. The way this child ran, interacted with her classmates, and was so curious about me, a white stranger, made me recall the experience of my own childhood. This was an eye-opening experience that changed the way I see people nowadays. What was really fascinating to me was the resemblances of the people I met, and all their personalities that was alike every single other person I came in contact with during my trip. That is why out of the 6 billion people in the world, I am constantly curious of how similar we all are, and I have sense that we are all incredibly the same, but we do not see this due to cultures and religions as well as appearances that blind us from understanding my belief. （168 words） 【范文解析】 范文的第一段具体讲述了作者对此次与小女孩交流之后，自己对自己之前的学习生活及 童年的回忆：作者发现小女孩与陌生人的交流，让他感到自己曾经也体验过类似的美好的感 受。范文的第二段是作者对此次经历的一个反思。该段反复强调，人类之间的共性多于差异 性。这种续写也因此与原文第一段的点题遥相呼应。 【提炼归纳】 1、仔细研读文章主题。文章第一段就开篇点题，告诉我们人与人之间是由共性的。之 后，作者又通过一次亲身经历，告诉我们自己之所以这样看是由其原因的。那么，我们在文 章续写的结尾的过程中，就需要进一步提炼作者这次体验的真实感受、以及他对文化差异的 看法。 2、合理拓展文章情节。原文第一段首先点明了文章的主题；第二、三段交代了自己此 次非洲之行的原因及之前自己对文化差异的看法；第四段讲述了一次偶然与非洲小女孩之间 的交流。通过续写部分的第一段提示“I watched this adolescent girl as she darted carefree towards her teachers and classmates just as I did when I was in elementary school”，我们可以推 测出该段是要求我们紧接着第四段，讲述作者对自己曾经有过的体验，这段话是对第四段的内容的进一步拓展。根据续写部分的第二段的提示“This was an eye-opening experience that changed the way I see people nowadays”，我们可以推测出该段是要总结此次旅行对作者之前 的看法的影响，并要求续写部分与第一段相呼应。 3、有效运用衔接手段。衔接是促使文章的叙述与中心保持连贯的纽带。续写部分中的 For some reason, but, after, and 等词汇、以及“What was really…”, “That is…”等句式，促 使文章的表述衔接紧密，文章的信息传递也因此更加流畅。