2021 年高考英语培优计划之思维型课堂 13
读后续写完形思维之合理设置结尾
【思维路径】
与开头一样,文章的结尾也是相当重要的。成功的结尾,能使读者更深入、更透彻地理
解文章内容,进一步领会文章的主旨。精彩的结尾,能唤起读者的思考与共鸣,增强文章的
感染力。
一、结尾完形思维 1:利用意外反转讽刺现实
【典例赏析】《项链》(莫泊桑)
小说以“项链”作为线索贯穿全文。主人公玛蒂尔德为了参加一个舞会,向朋友借了一条
钻石项链。舞会上,她大出风头,却乐极生悲,无意中丢掉了项链。为了赔偿,她整整十年
拼命劳作,省吃俭用,不顾一切地还债。当债务终于还清,她却得知这条项链原来是假的。
十九世纪八十年代的法国,政府贪污风行,唯利是图的道德观念影响到整个社会,很多人贪
慕上流社会的生活。小说通过这样一个巧妙设置的故事,尖锐讽刺了那种虚荣心和追求享乐
的思想,同时,对受尽生活愚弄的主人公又寄寓了深切的同情。
结尾部分:
Madame Forestier had halted.
“You say you bought a diamond necklace to replace mine?”
“Yes. You hadn't noticed it? They were very much alike.”
And she smiled in proud and innocent happiness.
Madame Forestier, deeply moved, took her two hands.
“Oh, my poor Mathilde! But mine was imitation. It was worth at the very most five hundred
francs!...”
二、结尾完形思维 2:利用意外反转传递深情厚谊
【典例赏析】《最后一片叶子》(欧·亨利)
《最后一片叶子》(The Last Leaf)是欧·亨利短篇小说作品中具有代表性的一篇,亦采
用小人物作为主角,歌颂伟大的人性关怀。小说中,青年画家琼珊得了肺炎,她消极地认为
当窗外墙上最后一片常春藤叶被吹落时,她的生命就会消逝。当楼下穷困而不得志的老“画
家”贝尔曼听到这件事后,冒着暴雨在墙上画出了一片永远不会凋落的常春藤叶,让琼珊重
新燃起了生命的希望,自己却因此染病去世。作者通过描写萍水相逢的普通人之间的关怀,
刻画了一个舍己为人的画家形象。在作者心中,美好心灵造就的作品才是不朽的杰作。
结尾部分:
“I have something to tell you, white mouse,” she said. “Mr. Behrman died of pneumonia
today in the hospital. He was ill only two days. The janitor found him the morning of the first day
in his room downstairs helpless with pain. His shoes and clothing were wet through and icy cold.
They couldn't imagine where he had been on such a dreadful night. And then they found a lantern,
still lighted, and a ladder that had been dragged from its place, and some scattered brushes, and a
palette with green and yellow colors mixed on it, and — look out the window, dear, at the last ivy
leaf on the wall. Didn't you wonder why it never fluttered or moved when the wind blew? Ah,
darling, it's Behrman's masterpiece — he painted it there the night that the last leaf fell.”
“我有些话要告诉你,小丫头,”她说,“贝尔曼在医院里去世了。他害肺炎,只病了两
天。头天早上,看门人在楼下的房间里发现他痛得要命。他的鞋子和衣服都湿透了,冰凉冰
凉的。谁也想不出,在那样可怕的夜里,他去了什么地方。后来,他们找到了一盏还燃着的
灯笼,一把从别处拖来的梯子,还有几支散落的画笔,一块调色板,上面和了绿色和黄色的
颜料,还有——看看窗外,亲爱的,看看墙上最后的一片叶子。你不是觉得纳闷,刮风的时
候它为什么不飘不动吗?啊,亲爱的,那是贝尔曼的杰作——那晚最后一片叶子掉落时,他
画在了墙上。”
三、结尾完形思维 3:利用蕴藏哲理再现悲剧情节
【典例赏析 1】《品质》(约翰·高尔斯华绥)
小说《品质》(Quality)以现代机器工业对传统手工业的冲击为背景。作者以第一人称
的视角,讲述了鞋匠盖斯勒兄弟在商业化大潮中仍然坚持自己的经营理念,用最好的皮料、
最细致的手工打造完美皮靴的故事。盖斯勒兄弟一生都在制鞋,从不打广告,也不考虑能赚
多少利润,却因为大公司对市场的侵蚀减少了生意,入不敷出,最终难以维持生计直至被饿
死。小说的结尾震撼人心,流露出了作者对传统手工业者的怀念与惋惜之情。作者用他细致
入微的描写为我们展现了残酷的社会现实,揭示了在这个适者生存的现代社会中理想与现实
的矛盾。
故事结尾:
“That may be a bit flowery, as the sayin' is — but I know myself he was sittin' over his boots
day and night, to the very last. You see I used to watch him. Never gave 'imself time to eat; never
had a penny in the house. All went in rent and leather. How he lived so long I don't know. He
regular let his fire go out. He was a character. But he made good boots.”
“Yes,” I said, “he made good boots.”
And I turned and went out quickly, for I did not want that youth to know that I could hardly see.
“这样说也许有点儿夸张——但是我自己知道,他从早到晚坐在那里做靴子,一直做到
最后的时刻。你知道,我往往在旁边看着他。他从不给自己吃饭的时间,店里连一块钱都没
有,所有的钱都用在房租和皮革上了。他怎么能活到这么久,连我也莫名其妙。他经常断粮。
他是个怪人,但是他做的靴子都顶好。”
“是的,”我说,“他做的靴子都顶好。”
我随即立刻转身离开了,我不想让那个年轻人看到我已经模糊了的双眼。
【典例赏析 2】《快乐王子》(奥斯卡·王尔德)
《快乐王子》(The Happy Prince)这一则文学作品继承了王尔德童话题材故事中的“牺牲”
主题。王尔德擅长以最唯美的方式表达毁灭与死亡。他首先在故事中创造了两个人间芳物:
美丽的小燕子与满身黄金、身嵌宝石的快乐王子。这两个角色本来生活在无忧无虑的温柔乡
中,觉得人间处处是阳光,却无意中发现真实的世界实际上充满了痛苦与不堪。在这样的落
差之下,这两个生命决定牺牲自己的美好,以解除芸芸众生的痛楚。最终,曾经最美丽华贵
的生命残损破败,在垃圾堆中结束了自己的一生。作者通过描写快乐王子身上颜色从金黄到
灰色,地位从市中心广场高大的塑像到垃圾堆里的废物这一反差,描绘了一幅凄凉的场景。
而在童话末尾,作者笔锋一转,从人间上升到了上帝层面,以上帝的口吻赞颂了这两个外表
丑陋,而内在伟大的生命个体,反映了作者认为精神美高于形式美的价值观。《快乐王子》
的情节颇具佛教精神特色,与乔达摩·悉达多王子到世间去体验苦难,最终成佛的故事异曲
同工,均深刻探讨了毁灭与重生的相互关系。该作品在童话题材的包装下触及了人性与哲学
问题,体现了作者深刻的文学思想。
故事结尾:
“What a strange thing!” said the overseer of the workmen at the foundry. “This broken lead
heart will not melt in the furnace. We must throw it away.” So they threw it on a dust-heap where
the dead Swallow was also lying.
“Bring me the two most precious things in the city,” said God to one of His Angels; and the
Angel brought Him the leaden heart and the dead bird.
“You have rightly chosen,” said God, “for in my garden of Paradise this little bird shall sing for
evermore, and in my city of gold the Happy Prince shall praise me.”
“多么稀奇的事!”铸像厂的工头说,“这颗裂开的铅心在炉子里竟不能熔化。我们只能
把它扔掉。”他们便把它扔到了垃圾堆里,死去的燕子也躺在那儿。
“把城市里最珍贵的两件东西拿给我,”上帝对他的一位天使说。于是天使就把铅做的
心和死去的鸟儿给上帝带了回来。
“你的选择对极了,”上帝说,“因为在我这天堂的花园里,这只小鸟可以永远地放声歌
唱,而在我那黄金城堡中,快乐王子可以尽情地赞美我。”
四、结尾完形思维 4:利用自然发展烘托温馨浪漫
【典例赏析 1】《小女孩》(凯瑟琳·曼斯菲尔德)
《小女孩》(The Little Girl)是一则讲述父女情的故事。在小女孩凯齐娅的心中,爸爸
是个威严、高大的人,她因此很怕他,与他说话的时候支支吾吾。一次,她在奶奶的鼓励下
为爸爸缝制生日礼物,无意中剪碎了他重要的演讲稿,让爸爸勃然大怒。凯齐娅很伤心,想
到隔壁麦克唐纳家慈祥的父亲,心中就隐隐作痛。直到有一天妈妈生病,家中只留下了凯齐
娅和爸爸,她因为害怕黑暗,做了噩梦,没想到平时不苟言笑的爸爸将她抱进了怀中,安慰
她入睡。《小女孩》是一篇典型的曼斯菲尔德作品,它截取日常的生活片段,刻画出其中细
腻丰富的感情,读来令人心醉。
故事结尾:
Then the dark did not matter; she lay still. “Here, rub your feet against my legs and get them
warm,” said father.
Tired out, he slept before the little girl. A funny feeling came over her. Poor father! Not so big,
after all — and with no one to look after him.... He was harder than the grandmother, but it was a
nice hardness.... And every day he had to work and was too tired to be a Mr. Macdonald.... She
had torn up all his beautiful writing.... She stirred suddenly, and sighed.
“What's the matter?” asked father. “Another dream?”
“Oh,” said the little girl, “my head's on your heart; I can hear it going. What a big heart you've
got, father dear.”
“来,把你的脚放在我腿上蹭蹭,这样能暖和些。”爸爸说。
他困极了,比小女孩先入睡。一种奇怪的感觉占据了她的头脑。可怜的爸爸呀!他其实不
是那么高大,也没有人来照看他。他是要比奶奶严厉些,但也不是不好。每天他都要去工作,
太累了,不能像麦克唐纳先生那样。一想到自己将他那些漂亮的文章都给扯碎了,她便一下
子转过身子去,叹了口气。
“这是怎么了?”爸爸问道,“又做梦了?”
“噢,”小女孩说,“我的头在你的胸口,我能听见你心跳的声音。我亲爱的爸爸,你的心
可真大啊。”
【结尾评析】《小女孩》将严父与女儿之间的爱写到了极致。凯瑟琳·曼斯菲尔德从她的
儿时生活中提取了大量素材:她出身于有名望的家庭,父亲曾任职新西兰银行主席,被授予
勋爵,在她儿时,父亲长期在外为公事忙碌,做公共演讲是常有的事。可能曼斯菲尔德笔下
小女孩与父亲的微妙关系,便是她对自己儿时情况的真实记录。
曼斯菲尔德善于描写女性细腻的情感,而几岁小女孩的动作心思也被她拿捏得准确到位。
父亲在小女孩的心中常以一个巨人的形象出现,这样的设定,不仅符合现实中小孩子心里父
亲们普遍的高大形象,也表现出了父亲在主人公心中的威严。在受到父亲责骂后,小女孩在
没有开灯的房间里独自哭泣,连从百叶窗缝隙里透过来的光线看起来都像是一幅悲伤的图画,
许多少女在受到委屈后都有类似的体验吧!一句“这个世界上为什么要有爸爸呢”是小女孩在
受到父亲责骂以后最童真、最令人心痛的问话。作家萧乾说,读《小女孩》就像是“听一阕
德彪西的音乐诗,感到淡淡的哀愁,又好像一只毛茸茸的爪子,在轻轻地挠着我的心。”相
信众多读者的心也同样被小女孩的天真愁绪深深打动。
【典例赏析 2】《画册的一页》(凯瑟琳·曼斯菲尔德)
在小说《画册的一页》(Feuille d'Album)中,作者大量地使用了象征手法,勾勒出了一
幅恬淡隽永的初恋水彩画卷,使小说充满了现代主义的气息。作者熟练地运用意识流的手法
描写少年的情窦初开:“他的心也从画室的侧窗跌了出去,落到了对面房子的阳台上——埋
在了那盆花苞半开、绿叶似矛的水仙花花盆里了”,也让主人公想象两人在一起的时光:“她
脾气暴躁,他们有时吵得很厉害”,当他第一次要去见她时,感觉到“一切都笼罩在那可爱的
粉红色的光晕中”。在作者的笔下,少年青涩的模样生动活泼、跃然纸上。
该作品的文字基调基本是明快的,而其核心却是孤独、敏感的。主人公独自居住在楼顶,
没有人能进入他的房间,与他对话的就是自己的日记本。女孩也是孤独的,她和害病的母亲
住在一起,每天都重复做着同样的活来维持生计。这两个人都与巴黎的繁华与浮夸格格不入,
少年之所以认为自己找到了伙伴,是因为他对于孤独的执着与偏爱。少年向女孩表现自己爱
慕的方式也十分含蓄,他只是跟随着她,到了最后才鼓起勇气递给了她一个鸡蛋。这是一种
在现代社会中可贵也可爱的含蓄。作者笔下处处透露着对孤独的偏爱,也表现了她不受大众
审美的影响,孤独追求艺术理想的态度。弗兰奇正是作者自我形象的写照。
故事结尾:
But now she was on her way home and he was as far off as ever....She suddenly turned into the
dairy and he saw her through the window buying an egg. She picked it out of the basket with such
care — a brown one, a beautifully shaped one, the one he would have chosen. And when she came
out of the dairy he went in after her. In a moment he was out again, and following her past his
house across the flower market, dodging among the huge umbrellas and treading on the fallen
flowers and the round marks where the pots had stood....Through her door he crept, and up the
stairs after, taking care to tread in time with her so that she should not notice. Finally, she stopped
on the landing, and took the key out of her purse. As she put it into the door he ran up and faced
her.
Blushing more crimson than ever, but looking at her severely he said, almost angrily: “Excuse
me, Mademoiselle, you dropped this.”
And he handed her an egg.
但是现在她已经在回家的路上,他还像先前那样离她那么远。她突然转身进入了乳品店,
他隔着窗户看见她正在买鸡蛋。她格外小心地从筐里挑选了一个出来——一个棕色的、有着
漂亮形状的鸡蛋,若是他,也会挑这个。当她走出乳品店之后,他走了进去。随即他又走了
出来,跟着她走过他的屋子,穿过了花市,避开一个个大伞,踏着掉落的花和花盆留下的圆
印。他悄悄地走进了她家大门,跟着她上楼,小心谨慎地选择恰当的时机跟随,让她不至于
发觉。终于,她在楼梯平台停了下来,从钱包里取出钥匙。就在她把钥匙插进房门的时候,
他跑了上来,站在她面前。
他的脸从来没有这样红过,但他严肃地看着她,近乎生气地说道:“抱歉,小姐,你落
下了这个。”
他递给了她一个鸡蛋。
五、结尾完形思维 5:用平凡和伟大再现英雄和悲壮
【典例赏析 1】《最后一课》(阿尔封斯·都德)
小说《最后一课》(The Last Lesson)在表现普法战争这一主题时,并未正面描写战争
的残酷场面,也没有突出普鲁士侵略者的骄横暴戾和法国人民的英勇无畏,而是将视线聚焦
到了阿尔萨斯省一个小镇的一堂普普通通的法语课上,以一个学龄孩子的感触,反映了法国
最普通的民众对自己国家深厚的情感。故事的主角并不是个出色的学生,他爱去田野里玩耍
不爱去学校,上课也经常开小差,觉得外面的世界比课堂有趣。但在普鲁士人的政令公布之
后,这个调皮学生的心态在一点点地发生变化——他发现老师教的内容竟然很容易听懂,并
且还希望自己能有更多的时间学习得更加深入,他甚至还开始体贴地察言观色,理解老师的
良苦用心。文章在详细描述主人公的转变时,也带出了其他学生、甚至小镇居民们的转变
——满教室只听见笔在纸上沙沙作响,不识字的老居民也摊开课本认真地学习拼写。作者通
过截取主人公、学生和那些居民面对国家危难的这一小片段,以小见大,展示了爱国精神在
一个普通人心中引起的强烈化学反应,深刻地反映了法国上上下下的民众在国难之际的面貌。
故事结尾:
Suddenly the church clock struck twelve. Then the Angelus. At the same moment the trumpets
of the Prussians, returning from drill, sounded under our windows. M. Hamel stood up, very pale,
in his chair. I never saw him look so tall. “My friends,” said he, “my friends,... I... I...”
But something choked him; he could not finish the sentence. He returned to the blackboard,
took a piece of chalk, and wrote in large letters, “VIVE LA FRANCE.”
Then he stood leaning against the wall, unable to speak. He signed to us with his hand. “The
lesson is over. You are dismissed.”
忽然,教堂的钟敲了十二下,祈祷的钟声也响了。普鲁士士兵的号声也从窗外传了进来
——他们也操练完了。韩麦尔先生从椅子上站了起来,脸色苍白。我从没有觉得他这样高大。
“我的朋友们,”他说,“我……我……”
但是他哽咽了,他没法说完那句话。他走到了黑板前,拿起了一支粉笔,写了几个大字:
“法兰西万岁。”
然后他靠墙站着,一句话也不说。他向我们做了一个手势:“放学了。你们走吧。”
【典例赏析 2】《空中骑士》(阿尔封斯·都德)
《空中骑士》(A Horseman in the Sky)讲述了美国南北战争时期发生的一个震撼人心
的故事。主人公卡特·德鲁斯出生于弗吉尼亚,父亲是富裕的农场主,他却因为与父亲政治
观点不同而加入了北方联盟军。在一次值勤中,卡特发现一名南方军队的骑兵前来刺探军情,
此人竟然就是他的父亲,卡特在强烈的心理斗争之后,决定履行自己的职责,扣动了扳机,
将父亲的坐骑打落山崖。作者详细地描绘了复杂、险要的战争地形,运用内心独白和悬念设
置等手法,剖析了主人公在职责与亲情之间的痛苦抉择,使该故事具有独特的艺术和思想魅
力。卡特失去父亲后的冷静在读者的心中造成了强烈的震撼。作者没有正面描写主人公的悲
痛,只是寥寥几笔就勾勒出了在军人职责抑制之下那呼之欲出的丧亲之痛,使故事具有强烈
的艺术性和巨大的感染力。
故事结尾:
“A horse. It was standing on yonder rock — pretty far out. You see it is no longer there. It went
over the cliff.”
The man's face was white, but he showed no other sign of emotion. Having answered, he turned
away his eyes and said no more. The sergeant did not understand.
“See here, Druse,” he said, after a moment's silence, “it's no use making a mystery. I order you
to report. Was there anybody on the horse?”
“Yes.”
“Well?”
“My father.”
The sergeant rose to his feet and walked away. “Good God!” he said.
“一匹马。它站在山崖上,距离很远。你看,现在那匹马不在了,它跌下了山崖。”
他的脸色苍白,但除此以外,并没有表现出任何的情绪。答完话之后,他便转过脸去,
不愿再说一句了。那中士有些不明白。
“听着,德鲁斯,”他沉默了片刻,说道:“没必要搞得神秘兮兮的。我命令你如实汇
报。那马上面有人吗?”
“有。”
“谁?”
“我的父亲。”
中士站起身来,走开了。“我的天啊!”他说。
【语篇锤炼】
阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。
“Daily Star, sir”, called a thin boy with a bundle of papers under his arm. He was ragged,
tired and hungry. Passing a well-dressed officer, he called again holding a paper up with his right
hand, “Daily Star, sir. Only eight taka, sir… sir … sir” but the officer went on without saying a
word. Little Rafiq had been up and down the street crying, “Daily Star” until his voice was almost
gone. There were still twenty papers under his arm. “An unlucky day!” sighed Rafiq. The shops
would soon close, and all the people would go home. He would have to go home too, carrying the
papers instead of money. It was a hard job. He had hoped to sell more papers tonight than usual.
He had longed to have more money tonight to buy a cake for his mother and some seed for his
favourite bird Bulbul which his father had given him shortly before he died. He knew his mother
had worked hard all day cooking, washing and cleaning for Mrs. Zaman. He broke down as he
thought of his failure to sell his papers. He had spent all the money that both he and his mother
had to buy them. It was much more than he could bear.
“Hello, Rafiq. Haven’t you sold your papers yet? I sold mine two hours ago.”
Rafiq looked up. It was Sardul, another newsboy.
“How many do you have left, Rafiq?”
“Twenty.”
“Why? That’s more than a hundred sixty!”
“Yes”, said Rafiq, “And I can’t sell them. Nobody wants papers tonight.” Tears began to flow
from his deep black eyes.
“Rafiq,” said Sardul as he drew nearer to him so that no one would hear what he was going to
say.
“I’ll tell you how I did it.”
“How? Do tell me.”
“You must run quickly up the street and shout, ‘Hot news, hot news. Bomb bursting in Rangpur.
Many died.’ — a trick of the trade.”
Rafiq was astonished, “But Sardul, that it’s not in the paper at all! That’s a lie!”
“No, you softy, nobody will catch you. Just run away quickly before they have time to see, and
you will sell out and get your money.”
注意:
1. 所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右;
2. 应使用 5 个以上短文标有下划线的关键词语;
3. 续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;
4. 续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词。
Paragraph 1:
Rafiq looked down; it was a new idea to him
_______________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph 2:
That afternoon as usual Rafiq went to the office for his papers.
_______________________________________________________________________________
【参考范文】
Rafiq looked down; it was a new idea to him. There was a severe struggle to feed his mother,
his bird and something nice to eat in one side; and on the other side a lie. He looked up and
thought: “Tell a lie for this? Never!” With tired legs, but true heart, he carried his papers home.
His mother was waiting for him, who said nothing about the money she so much needed. Rafiq
told her all about Sardul’s tricks. She told him how his father had always tried, even when it was
hard to do the right.
That afternoon as usual Rafiq went to the office for his papers. The boys were crowding round
Sardul, who was boasting that he sold six dozen the day before. Sardul added that Rafiq lost
money because he would not tell a lie. While they were pushing Rafiq and laughing at him, a
gentleman heard it, and that was enough for him. Mr. Iskandar, a businessman who valued
honesty most, said to Rafiq: “Yes, you’re just the boy I am looking for.” Rafiq took his new job!
He lost the sale of twenty papers but he got a well-paid job instead.
【范文解析】
范文围绕文章内容进行了合情合理的拓展。听到出乎意料的建议,大家都会仔细考虑
其可行性,因此第一段写了 Rafiq 得知卖光报纸的诀窍后进行的思想斗争以及最终的决定,
此外还描述了母亲的态度以及 Rafiq 做出这一艰难抉择背后的原因——父亲的影响。第二段,
第二天 Rafiq 去报馆买报纸时,被其他的报童嘲笑,却意外得到了重视诚信的商人的青睐,
有了一份收入不错的新工作。这符合故事发展的逻辑,以及对正确价值观的认同。最后两句
对故事进行概括和升华,突出了主题。
【提炼归纳】
1、合理拓展情节
读后续写首先要读通给定文本,把握故事的人物和事件。在此基础上根据提示对故事
的发展作出合情合理又合乎逻辑的预测。为了将预测过程显性化,可以通过设问的方式,将
预测重点以问题的方式显示出来,以利后续写作时的信息整理和语言组织。在该练习中,我
们通过 9 个问题来拓展并整理自己的写作思路,这 9 个问题以 Rafiq 为表达的主体,问题之
间有一定的逻辑联系,符合故事发展的合理结局。
2、有效运用对比
在具体的写作过程中,我们要针对给定的文本特点和内容情节选择相应的表现手法。
例如在范文中,我们可以通过有效运用对比,突出故事的情节,增加其张力。具体体现在几
组对比词和词组的运用中:in one side 和 on the other side;boast 和 laugh at;lost 和 get;tell
a lie 和 tell the truth 等。