2021 年高考英语培优计划之思维型课堂 10
读后续写布局思维之设置故事开端
【思维路径】
一个好的故事开头就好比是一堂成功的课的导入,能够迅速抓住学生和老师们的兴趣,并且愿
意听下去,跟着授课老师的思路走。一个好的故事开头就好比是一个带着香味十足的诱饵,诱使读
者上钩并且饶有趣味地看完。而一个拙劣的故事开头,定会让读者大倒胃口,恹恹欲睡。“well begun
is half done!”可见,写好一个好故事的好开头是多么的重要。那么在时间紧迫的考场上的英语读后
续写的过程中,如何写出靓丽的开头呢?我们可以从语法手段和写作涉及的内容来具体涉及故事的
开端。
1.开端布局思维 1:副词突显动作等
【典例赏析】
Carefully, he stepped over all the broken glass.
Joyfully he skipped up the street.
【真题再现】
Para 1: (2016. 10 浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para1:But no more helicopters came and it was
getting dark again. Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the forest. (时间副词衔接+环境描写)
2.开端布局思维 2:形容词短语表明心态
【典例赏析】
Curious to know what was inside, he tiptoed into the dark cave.
Unable to say a word, he was rooted to the spot.
【真题再现】
(2016.10 浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para 1: But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark
again. Desperate and hopeless, Jane knelt down, tears streaming down her face. (并列情绪形容词)
(2016.10 浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para 2: It was daybreak when Jane woke up. Weak as she was,
she struggled to her feet, continuing searching for assistance. (状态形容词+as/though 引导的倒装句) (2018.06 浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para 1: Suddenly a little rabbit jumped out in front of my
horse. Afraid that I might hurt the lovely small creature, I automatically let out a cry to stop my horse. (情
绪形容词+从句)
(2018.06 浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para 2: We had no idea where we were and it got dark. Exhausted
and hungry, I wondered if we could find our way back.
3.开端布局思维 3:非谓语动词的烘托
【典例赏析】
Looking around him cautiously, he slipped into the room and softly closed the door.
Exhausted, he was glad the race was finally over.
【真题再现】
(2016.10 浙江高考读后续写范文摘录) Para1: But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark
again. Feeling disappointed, Jane had to stay alone for another night. (现在分词+情绪形容词)
(2016.10 浙江高考读后续写范文摘录) Para 2: It was daybreak when Jane woke up. Feeling
refreshed, she continued to walk along the stream to find the way out.(现在分词+状态形容词)
4.开端布局思维 4:使用从句
【典例赏析】
As he walked, he whistled
Although he was afraid, he jumped right in.
5.开端布局思维 5:使用介词短语
【典例赏析】
At the end of the lane he suddenly stopped.
At the sight of the snake, the little girl screamed at the top of her voice.
6.开端布局思维 6:对话或独白
【典例赏析】“Let’s see who gets there first!” Rachel shouted, as she pedaled fast and zoomed past Jenny.
“Hold on tight!” My father yelled. We just finished bucking in as the coaster jerked into
motion. This was my first roller coaster ride.
【真题再现】
(2017.06 浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para 1: The car abruptly stopped in front of
him. "Get into the car." Paul shouted at Mac.
7.开端布局思维 7:介绍人物身份
【典例赏析】
Mark is a studious boy who loves reading. His classmates often tease him for being too
hardworking and they call him Mr. Smart.One afternoon, while studying at home…
8.开端布局思维 8:情绪烘托
【典例赏析】
The moment she saw how she did for her Science test, tears started welling up in Tina’s eyes and falling
down her cheeks.
9.开端布局思维 9:背景烘托
【典例赏析】
I closed my eyes to enjoy the gentle breeze and the sounds of the clashing waves. Gently opening my
eyes, I saw my parents taking a relaxing stroll along the beach.
The cave was dark and everything was silent. I couldn’t even see my hand in front of my face. I knew this
adventure was going to be something that I would never forget.
【真题再现】
(2017.11 浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para 2: We drove through several states and saw lots of great
sights along the way. I looked out of the car window, winding rivers, lofty mountains, sunny beaches and
deep valleys holding me entirely in their fascination. (视觉+环境描写+拟人)10.开端布局思维 10:人物动作特写
【典例赏析】
Furry started wagging his tail and running around in circles when he saw his master taking a leash out
from the drawer. Furry was all ready for his evening walk.
【真题再现】
(2017.11 浙江高考读后续写范文摘录)Para 1: The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we
had brought with us. Dad exchanged a glance with me. Why not camp to satisfy Mom? (动作描写+问句
衔接)
11.开端布局思维 11:声音效果传情
【典例赏析】
BOOM, CRASH! The wind was howling outside of my house. We were having a terrible thunder storm. I
was very scared.
12.开端布局思维 12:设问激发思考
【典例赏析】
Have you ever been on a self-driving trip? Let me tell you an exciting trip my family took this summer.
Why does trouble always follow me around? Do I have a "kick me" sign on my back or something?
fascination. (视觉+环境描写+拟人)
【语篇锤炼】
阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。
Change is defined as to give a different position, course, or direction to. Change is essential in life because you
learn from change and it gives you a new route to take in life. Many people in life tend to not understand change
but it’s the ones that do who are the successful ones.For years now I have no idea what I have been doing with my life. I wake up every morning ashamed of the
person I am today, and fall asleep with the same mind set. I play everything in life by the book and never do
anything out of the ordinary.
I am a 30-year-old lawyer in New York. I spent most of my life in school perusing a job in Law. But being a
lawyer was never my dream or goal in life.
I honestly wanted to be a Writer. I have a great imagination and would write amazing stories in my head. I
would write about slaying dragons and life far beyond what we can imagine today. I always knew that being a
writer was never possible for me because it was a better financial decision to stay a lawyer.
Recently, the days were abnormal for me. Usually I would fall asleep at ten and wake up at seven and drive to
my office so I can get to work on time. But for some reason I couldn’t go to sleep, and when I did fall asleep I had
the same dream over and over again. It wasn’t a dream I had ever had in the past. The dream starts with me in the
ocean trying to go for a swim searching for something, but for some reason I start to drown and I can’t even gasp
for air. I have no control over my body. Then a light shines through the bright waters and when I look up, all I can
see is myself in a bright white room writing a novel. The I heard a voice say repeatedly “now is the time to try
something new”.
注意:
1. 所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右;
2. 应使用 5 个以上短文标有下划线的关键词语;
3. 续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;
4. 续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词。
Paragraph 1:
That afternoon I quit my job at the law firm and I couldn’t have been any happier.
_________________________________________________________________
Paragraph 2:My life started at 30, and every day since that point I haven’t stopped enjoying life.
_________________________________________________________________
【参考范文】
That afternoon I quit my job at the law firm and I couldn’t have been any happier. Relieved from that job, I
walked taller that day. When I got home I threw away my suits and nicely ironed pants and went out and got a pair
of ripped jeans and a baggy shirt. I could not have been any more wrong. However, it wasn’t just a dream. My
opportunity to make something good out of my life began. It was tough at first, but I just made myself under
control.
My life started at 30, and every day since that point I haven’t stopped enjoying life. I can now enjoy the
smaller things in life like watching the sunset or going for a walk in the park. I also have found the woman of my
dreams and just can’t get enough of her. And by the way I started to write and have been on the best sellers list for
the last 2 months. Things have definitely turned around. Yes, change is a good thing not just for me but for
everyone, it gives us all an opportunity to take a chance. (156 words)
【范文解析】
范文围绕故事的情节和主要矛盾进行了合情合理的拓展。职业女律师的工作本身就非常艰辛,所以故
事中的主人公想要摆脱这种过于正式的律师生活去追求自己的“作家梦”,是合情合理的。因此,范文的
结尾部分特别强调“改变是一件好事”。
【提炼归纳】
1.熟读原文,把握主线。这是一篇夹叙夹议的文章。作者在文章的开头部分就在说明“改变”的重要性。
由此我们可以推测出,作者接下来可能会通过一系列的经历与体验,展现这一主题。
2.把握情节,合理拓展。作者通过“Change is essential in life--- For years now I have no idea what I have
been doing with my life---But being a lawyer was never my dream or goal in life---I honestly wanted to be a
Writer--- Recently, the days were abnormal for me--- That afternoon I quit my job at the law firm and I couldn’t
have been any happier ---My life started at 30, and every day since that point I haven’t stopped enjoying life---…”
这一完整的情节叙述,告诉我们改变是生活中的必须,即与文章第一段中的“Change is essential in life because
you learn from change and it gives you a new route to take in life.”相呼应,因此,在续写的时候,就需要把握这一情节变化,进行合理的拓展。
3. 关注衔接,确保连贯。通过对作者写作的情节的把握,我们可以保证续写不会偏离文章的发展的方
向。但是,我们必须使用有效的衔接手段,这样才能确保续写意义的连贯性。例如,范文中的 when,
however, and, since, but, yes 等都是很好的衔接手段。