读后续写示例与写作训练 2
【写作示例】
【原文呈现】
阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。
Jenny was a bright-eyed, pretty five-year-old girl.
One day when she and her mother were checking out at the grocery store(杂货店), Jenny saw
a plastic pearl necklace which was priced at $2.50. How she wanted that necklace, and when she
asked her mother if she would buy it for her, her mother said, "Well, it is a pretty necklace, but it
costs an awful lot of money. I'll tell you what. I'll buy you the necklace, and when we get home we
can make up a list of chores that you can do to pay for the necklace. And don't forget that for your
birthday Grandma just might give you a whole dollar bill, too. Okay?" Jenny agreed happily, and
her mother bought the pearl necklace for her.
Jenny worked on her chores very hard every day, and sure enough, her grandma gave her a
brand-new dollar bill for her birthday. Soon Jenny had paid off the pearls. How Jenny loved those
pearls! She wore them everywhere to kindergarten, bed and even when she went out with her
mother to run errands.
The only time she didn't wear them was in the shower, because her mother had told her that
they would turn her neck green!
Jenny had a very loving daddy. When Jenny went to bed, he would get up from his favorite
chair every night and read Jenny her favorite story.
One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Hey, sweetie, do you love me?"
"Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you," the little girl said with a warm smile.
"Well, then, give me your pearls."
"Oh! Daddy, not my pearls!" Jenny refused. "But you can have Rosy, my favorite doll. Remember her? You gave her to me last year for my birthday. And you can have her tea
party outfit, too. Okay?"
"Oh no, darling, that's okay."Her father brushed her cheek with a kiss. "Good night, little
one."
注意:
1. 所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右;
2. 应使用 5 个以上短文标有下划线的关键词语;
3. 续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;
4. 续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词。
Paragraph 1:
A week later, Jenny’s father once again asked Jenny the same question after her story...
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Paragraph 2:
Another week later, when her father came in to read her a story as usual...
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【思维路径】
[核心内容]
文本主要内容为:Jenny 和她妈妈经过一家杂货店的时候看见一串塑料珍珠项链,她非
常喜欢,于是就要求妈妈买给她并且答应了帮妈妈做家务的方式来赚取项链钱的要求。Jenny
很快就赚到了足够的钱。Jenny 的爸爸非常爱她,有一天晚上,爸爸问她愿不愿意将项链送
给他,但是 Jenny 拒绝了。
[写作思路](1)明确故事人物关系(characters)。故事中主要人物为小女孩 Jenny,Jenny 的妈妈
(mother),Jenny 的外婆(Grandma)和 Jenny 的爸爸(father,daddy)。
(2)理清故事主要事件(events)。Jenny 和妈妈路过一家杂货店;Jenny 看重一条塑料
珍珠项链;Jenny 答应妈妈买项链而提出的要求;Jenny 每天做家务很快赚到了足够的钱;
Jenny 爸爸向她要这串项链,但是 Jenny 拒绝了。
(3)根据已知人物、事件及续写段落首句预测故事发展(development)。故事总体的
发展应该是 Jenny 通过再三考虑几番抉择,最后还是把珍珠项链给了爸爸,没想到正因为如
此却意外收获了一份更加珍贵的礼物。续写第一段:一周后,Jenny 的爸爸再次问了 Jenny
相同的问题,可能是 Jenny 同意了将心爱的珍珠项链送给爸爸,也可能是 Jenny 还是不愿意
将项链送给爸爸。但是根据续写第二段开头的提示,可能 Jenny 拒绝了爸爸这种可能性更符
合逻辑一点。续写第二段:有续写第一段的内容作为铺垫,此段的发展可能是 Jenny 仍然不
同意将项链给爸爸,也可能是她将项链送给了爸爸,若是这种可能,则还可以在此基础上描
写一些爸爸的反应,如礼尚往来,给了 Jenny 其他的礼物作为回报等。
(4)结合下划线词罗列写作要点(points)。结合下划线词和文本内容,展开尽可能丰
富的想象,罗列出尽可能多的故事发展情节。例如,第一段可以通过问以下问题来获取写作
要点“What did Jenny response to father’s question? Did she give the pearls to father or just refuse
again? What did the father do after Jenny’s answer?等”第二段可以问以下问题来获取写作要点:
“What did the father do this time? Did he still ask the same question? Did Jenny give the pearls
to her father at last? If so, what did her father do and how did he feel?等”。
[参考范文]
A week later, Jenny’s father once again asked Jenny the same question after her story, "Do
you love me?" Jenny gave a definite answer to this question without hesitation. But when the
conversation came to whether she could give her pearls to her father, she refused a second time.
Another week later, when her father came in to read her a story as usual, Jenny was sitting on
her bed and her lip was trembling." Here, Daddy," she said, and held out her hand. Inside of her
hand was her beloved plastic pearl necklace. She let it slip into her father's hand. At this time, her
father pulled out of his pocket a bluevelvet box, and some real, genuine, beautiful pearls were just inside. He had had them all along. He was waiting for Jenny to give up the cheap stuff so he could
give her the real thing. Sometimes, life is just like this: give up one thing and get another chance
to receive a better thing.(除给定词外,164 words)
[范文解析]
范文围绕文章的内容进行了合情合理的拓展。续写两个段落开头给出句子中写了两次爸
爸晚上给 Jenny 讲故事,提示可能性最大的情景发展应该是有两次类似的针对愿不愿意给珍
珠项链的交谈。因此,第一段写了爸爸再次问 Jenny 愿不愿意给项链,然而这次 Jenny 仍然
不愿意给。第二段,如果再次写 Jenny 不愿意给的话文章主题就很难得到升华,因此这段中,
我们将主动权转交到 Jenny 身上,Jenny 主动将项链给了爸爸,并且父亲相应的给了她一条
真的珍珠项链。最后一句话是根据这个小故事而得出的关于人生的一个小道理,从而在文章
结尾处点出文章主题。
[提炼归纳]
1. 合理拓展情节
读后续写首先要读通给定文本,把握故事的人物和事件。在此基础上根据每段续写开
头的提示对故事的发展作出合情合理又合乎逻辑的预测。为了将预测过程显性化,可以通过
设问的方式,将预测重点以问题的方式显示出来,以利后续写作时的信息整理和语言组织。
在开始写范文前,我们首先用 7 个问题来构思整个文章的发展。通过对这 7 个问题的可能回
答的排列组合,挑选出最符合逻辑的情节发展。同时,为了提升整个范文的情感目标,可以
使结局适当出人意料及令人深思一点。本范文在第二段时转换了与原文相反的基调,突出了
小女孩在这件事情中的主动性与转变,使得范文更有层次感。
2. 紧密联系原文内容
续写是在原文内容的基础上进一步对接下来发展情节的预测和描写。因此,续写的内容
必须与原文紧密相关。可以在情节上承接原文,也可以用特定的细节,如人物,地点,事件
等来呼应原文。如在本范文中用 a second time 来呼应原文中 Jenny 第一次拒绝爸爸的要求。
3. 有效运用连接手段在具体的写作过程中我们要对罗列的要点进行筛选和整合,还要考虑写作要点之间连接
手段(connectives)的有效运用,例如范文中我们用了 a week later 和 another week later 来说
明事件的时间顺序,用 but 来表示转折,用 so 来表因果关系。这些连接词的使用可以使文
本更加紧凑连贯。
【写作演练】
1.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写
的词数应为 150 左右。
Sally had anxiety disorder trouble that made her fail to speak in social situations. I’m a nurse
and use Bella to help children in my community, to bring them comfort and confidence the way
only a dog can. I thought back to the day when I’d first brought Bella to the school.
That morning in January, her teacher led us to a room. “Sally hasn’t spoken outside her home
in two years,” she told me. “Her parents have taken her to doctors, but nothing has worked. ” A
little girl stood shyly just inside the doorway. Her eyes brightened when she noticed my dog.
“This is Bella.” I said. “She does tricks. Would you like to see?”
Sally nodded. I motioned with my hand. Bella lay down and then rolled over. Sally’s eyes lit
up. I showed Sally the hand signals for various commands. She was a natural with Bella, maybe
because she couldn’t rely on the spoken word herself. Bella sensed that and responded. Soon Sally
was able to put Bella through her paces all on her own. I could see her standing taller, more sure
of herself each time we met.
One morning in March when she was working with Bella, I heard a tiny voice, barely a
whisper, “Good dog. " Sally didn't take her eyes off Bella, but I wanted to jump for joy. Sally
spoke a little more each week, only to Bella at first, but then to me. Later, she started giving voice
commands with her hand signals and her confidence rose.
Now, five-year-old Sally stood nervously in front of her kindergarten class, with Bella, my
trained dog, sitting calmly by her side. All the eyes of her classmates were focused on Sally. They
were waiting for her to speak. It was June—only one week of school left—but they had never heard her voice. Not once.
Paragraph 1:
But not a word came out. Sally had been so excited about putting on a dog show for her class.
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The next week, she told me she wanted to try again, looking up at me with determination.
2.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写
的词数应为 150 左右。
A dawning sun shaped the massive form of the train. Loaded with fuel, water, and sand for
power, the lead train weighed in at 410,000 pounds. Conductor Robert, 49, ran his eye along the
96 cars behind him.
It was 7 a.m. Robert had already checked the list of dangerous materials aboard the train.
''We've got some gas with us,'' he'd reported to his engineer, Lindley, in the cab (驾驶室). The
presence of gas would mean taking extra care when braking the 6,200-ton train. With explosive
gas on board, an accident would be more dangerous. After a final external inspection, Robert
jumped aboard. Slowly the train pulled out of the station.
Robert and Lindley had 50 years of railroading experience between them. They approached
Lafayette at about 1:45 p. m. and slowed the train to the speed limit. Lindley turned on his
flashing lights and warning bell. The two had been through the city hundreds of times, but they
grew extra cautious rounding the first curve (弯道). Ahead, over just three miles of track, lay no
fewer than 24 street crossings. As the train came out of the curve, Lindley noticed a small dot on the right rail about 150 yards ahead. He thought it might be a dog. Now, as the train approached
within 100 yards of the object on the rail, Robert looked attentively. Then shock coursed through
him.
''My God!'' he yelled as a tiny face turned toward him. ''It's a baby!''
Lindley had an instant decision to make, applying full emergency brakes with half the train
still wrapped around a curve. He had to risk an emergency stop. Robert opened the left door of the
engine cab quickly and stepped out onto a narrow walkway. He hurried to the front of the engine
and crossed to the right side. He then stepped down to the lower portion of the walkway just to the
back of the train's ''cow catcher''.
Paragraph 1:
Stretching as far as he could, Robert put his right leg out in front of him.
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Paragraph 2:
Telling himself he still had a job to do, Robert went back to check on the cars.
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3.阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。
Missus Sommers one day found herself the unexpected owner of fifteen dollars. It seemed to
her a very large amount of money. For a day or two she walked around in a dreamy state as she
thought about her choices. Her daughter Janie was wearing worn shoes and needed new ones. She
would buy cloth for new shirts for the boys. Her daughter Mag should have another dress. And
still there would be enough left for new stockings for her children. The idea about how to spend
the dollars made her restless with excitement.
On the day she planned to go shopping with the money, she ate a light meal- no! Between getting the children fed and the house cleaned, and preparing herself to go shopping, she forgot to
eat at all!
When she arrived at the large department store, she spotted a pile of silk stockings at the
entrance. A sign nearby announced that they had been reduced in price a young girl behind the
counter asked her if she wished to examine the silky leg coverings. She smiled as if she had been
asked to inspect diamond jewelry, and started to feel the soft, expensive items. Missus Sommers
picked up a black pair and looked at them closely. Two red marks suddenly showed on her pale
face. She looked up at the shop girl and said proudly, “Well, I will buy this pair.”
Missus Sommers changed her cotton stockings for the new silk ones in the ladies’ rest area.
She had let herself be controlled by some machine-like force that directed her actions and freed
her of responsibility. How good was the touch of the silk on her skin! Then she put her shoes back
on and put her old stockings into her bag. Next, she went to the shoe department, where she tried
on a pair of new boots. Her foot and ankle looked lovely. She could not believe that they were a
part of herself.
注意:1.所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右;
2.至少使用 5 个短文中标有下划线的关键词语;
3.续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;
4.续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
Paragraph 1:
After buying a pair of new boots, she walked into the clothing department.
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Paragraph 2:
She was about to leave the store when a kid running around reminded her of something.
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4.阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。
A farmer grew some vegetables in his garden. One day his wife was ill and he had no money.
He had to sell some cabbages and carrots in the market. The next morning he took two baskets of
vegetables to town. But it was snowing hard that afternoon and there were few people in the street.
When his vegetables were sold out, it was dark. He bought some medicine and hurried to his
village.
On his way home he saw a person lying on the snow. He placed his baskets on the ground
and was going to help the person to get up. At that time he found it was a dead man and there was
much blood on his body. He was so afraid that he ran away quickly, without taking the baskets
with him.
The next afternoon the farmer was sent to the police station. Having shown the baskets, an
officer asked, “Are these yours?” “Yes, sir,” the farmer answered timidly. “Have you killed the
man?” “No, no, sir,” the farmer said in a hurry. "When did you see the dead man?" “About seven
last evening.” "Did you see who killed the man?" "No, sir." The officer brought out a knife and
asked, "Have you seen it before?” "No, sir." The officer became angry and told the policeman to
beat him up and sent him into prison, He wanted to trap the farmer into the confession(供认),
but the farmer didn't admit he was the murderer.
注意:1. 所续写的短文词数应为 150 左右;
2. 应使用 5 个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语;
3. 续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已经为你写好;
4. 续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。.
Paragraph 1:
The officer was so angry that he asked the policeman to beat him up again.
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Paragraph 2: The farmer was lucky. A few days later,
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5.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文,续写
的词数应为 150 左右。
Last Sunday afternoon, Sandra and I were eager to meet up with a man on Detroit’s east side
to help him get ready for a job interview this week. But on the way, we spotted a dog lying near
the road next to his owner. We thought he’d been hit by a car. My friend, Sandra Abrahamian and
I, had assisted animal rescue groups before and we thought there might be something we could do,
so we quickly pulled over to help.
His owner, a woman told us the dog’s name is Bosco, and she was walking him over a mile
in the heat to her new home. She said Bosco was an outside dog and no one would give him a ride
to her new place. That’s when she and a friend decided to walk the entire way. He was going from
a life on a chain in one backyard to another. She said Bosco was having trouble breathing along
the way, but they thought he could make it. But just a block away from their destination, Bosco
fell down. We could tell he was suffering from heatstroke(中暑). She told us he had thrown up and
could no longer stand. Bosco was out of breath quickly, his drool(口水) was also thick. Bosco’s
owner said she wanted to give him away because she didn’t have time for him. She said he would
never be allowed into her new “home” because her children have allergies( 过 敏 症 ) and she
worried he would dirty the carpet.
I made a call to Kristina Rinaldi of Detroit Dog Rescue to ask if they could help Bosco
because it was clear that he was going to die without emergency care. To our happiness, Rinaldi
said they could help. At once she told the people at Oakland Veterinary Referral Services that a
dog which needed critical care was being rushed in and they must be ready to try their best to save
him.
Paragraph 1:Sandra drove while I stayed in the back seat trying to comfort Bosco.
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Paragraph 2:
So Bosco is now being called Roscoe, whose critical care and recovery were estimated to be
several thousand dollars.
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答案与解析
1.【参考范文】
Paragraph 1:
But not a word came out. Sally had been so excited about putting on a dog show for her class.
She had been quite familiar with the hand signals and had practiced for weeks. Now her eyes
found mine. I nodded encouragingly. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth. Her
mouth---then her whole body--- seemed to close in on itself in defeat. Sally stood off to the side,
head down. I felt awful. Sally returned to her seat, not looking at anyone, not even Bella.
Paragraph 2:
The next week, she told me she wanted to try again, looking up at me with determination. I
asked whether she was sure and suggested it would be Ok if she waited till next year. She refused
and insisted giving her presentation that day. Then we headed to Sally’s classroom. The kids were
sitting in a circle on the floor listening to the teacher. We walked to the front of the room. I shook
Sally’s hands and stepped back. For a few seconds, she stood silently, staring at her classmates.
Finally she whispered, “This is Bella.” Then, a little louder with more confidence. “Bella.”
【解析】通过阅读所给文章可知,文章主要讲了萨莉患有焦虑症,这使她在社交场合不能说话。
作者是一名护士,用贝拉来帮助社区里的孩子们,给他们带来安慰和信心,只有狗才能做到
这一点。在小狗贝拉的帮助下,萨莉逐渐可以在社交场合说话了。一天,在幼儿园里,大家
都在等待着萨莉说话。续写部分分为两段,第一段开头是:但是,萨莉一个字也没有说出来,
所以后文应该是讲述萨莉一言不发的尴尬场景。第二段开头是:第二个星期,她抬头坚定地
看着我,告诉我她想再试一次。本段应该写萨莉再次尝试,成功地把自己的好朋友小狗贝拉
介绍给了自己的同学们。最后还要注意所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右。
【范文点评】
本文描写详略得当,使用了高级词汇和高级句子。如: Sally returned to her seat, not
looking at anyone, not even Bella. 现在分词作伴随状语;I asked whether she was sure and
suggested it would be Ok if she waited till next year.宾语从句等高级句式。
2.【参考范文】
Paragraph 1:
Stretching as far as he could, Robert put his right leg out in front of him. Swinging his leg
out, he swept her aside with his foot. Robert swiftly leapt from the moving train and ran back to
the child. She lay crying by the tracks, blood streaming from a wound beneath her hair. A great
relief sweeping over Robert, Robert lifted her from the dirt. It was only then that Robert noticed
the train had stopped and there were flashing red lights of emergency vehicles alongside the
tracks. With the baby in his arms, Robert began to walk and was met by the police.
Paragraph 2:
Telling himself he still had a job to do, Robert went back to check on the cars. As Robert
aboard rested in the train, his pent-up emotions rushed to the surface. It had all unfolded so fast,
and the reality of what he had done was only now hitting him. Within minutes, Lindley was
standing beside Robert, taking the controls again. They looked at each other, their expressions of
relief and gratitude more persuasive than words. Robert’s overalls were still spotted with blood.
The train pulled slowly out of Lafayette.【解析】
这是一篇读后续写。本篇讲述了一个故事。Robert 和 Lindley 是经验丰富且配合默契的
火车驾驶员。一次他们驾驶的火车在全速前进时,Lindley 注意到远处的轨道上有个黑点,
他意为是一条狗,后来证实这个黑点是一个婴儿。他们要在保证火车安全的情况下,减速救
下这个婴儿。
根据第一段的开头可知,Robert 尽可能把自己的腿伸长,然后右腿放在前面。故可以接
着写:Robert 成功救出小孩,可能自己受了皮外伤,然后把孩子交给警察、孩子的家人或铁
路管理人员等,情节合理就可以接受。
根据第二段的开头可知,Robert 虽然内心紧张,但他告诉自己还有工作要做。故可以接
着写:Robert 上车平静后,可以描写他的身体感觉,内心活动,或者描述在场人员对他的赞
扬,两人的对话、动作或眼神交流等,体现出他们工作之间的默契。在紧急停车之后,他们
继续前行。
【范文点评】
范文内容完整,要点全面,语言规范,语篇连贯,词数适当,上下文意思连贯,符合逻
辑关系。作者在范文中使用了一些高分句型,例如:It was only then that Robert noticed the train
had stopped and there were flashing red lights of emergency vehicles alongside the tracks.使用了
强调 it was…that…;Lindley was standing beside Robert, taking the controls again.使用了现在分
词作状语。
3.【参考范文】
Paragraph 1:
After buying a pair of new boots, she walked into the clothing department. Coming to a
dressing mirror, looking at herself in the mirror, “Won’t I look more beautiful if my shoe matches
a perfect dress on my body?” thought Missus Sommers. She waving to the salesgirl of the
department and asked her whether she could try on the fashionable dress styles. Her request was
approved, Missus Sommers kept trying on. One dress after another tried on, she put them into her
shopping cart fondly.Paragraph 2:
She was about to leave the store when a kid running around reminded her of something. “Oh,
My God! I forgot all about my kids!” yelled Missus Sommers, starting to blame herself. “Excuse
me, salesgirl, would you be so kind as to let me put back all I had chosen, for I had intended to
buy my daughter Janie a new pair of shoes, boy’s new shirts and all of them new stockings? I must
have lost my head!” A sense of responsibility of caring about her kids drove her to think of the
right idea where the money should go.
【解析】
文章主要讲的是 Sommers 太太意外得到了 15 美元,非常高兴,想着给女儿和儿子们买
鞋子和衬衫,结果在百货公司试穿衣服时逐渐忘了自己要给孩子们买东西,最后让售货小姐
退还了购物车里所有的衣服的故事。在给的第一段开头中,“After buying a pair of new boots,
she walked into the clothing department.”“the clothing department”是关键词,表示“服装部”,说
明 Sommers 后来去了服装部,第一段应当围绕她在服装部发生的事情展开;在给的第二段
开头中“She was about to leave the store when a kid running around reminded her of something.”此
句中的 kid 为关键词,因为后文都围绕这个词在说。
【高分句型一】
After her request was approved, Missus Sommers kept trying on. 在她的请求被批准后,
Sommers 太太继续尝试。运用时间状语从句。
【高分句型二】
Although she really liked these clothes, a sense of responsibility of caring about her kids
drove her to think of the right idea where the money should go. 虽然她真的很喜欢这些衣服,但
是一种照顾孩子的责任感驱使她去想钱应该花在哪里。运用让步状语从句。
4.【参考范文】
Paragraph 1:
The officer was so angry that he asked the policeman to beat him up again. The farmer was very afraid, and he thought he would be sentenced to death by killing people, although he was
innocent. He must tell people the truth, but no one could hear his voice. He hoped that someone
could come and save him.
Paragraph 2:
The farmer was lucky. A few days later, a young man came to the police station with a lot of
journalists, saying that he saw the murderer. It was the police officer who killed the man on the
snow! He saw the police officer killing the man with a knife late in the evening. He was so
frightened and ran away. But the young man thought the farmer was innocent. So he took the great
courage to expose the real criminal. After the investigation, the young man was right. The police
officer was sent into prison and the policeman who beat up the farmer was fired, and the brave
young man was regarded as the hero by the villagers.
【解析】
本篇书面表达是读后续写。通过阅读所给文章可知,农夫在超市买完菜回家的路上看到
了倒在地方的人,他本想将他扶起,但发现他死了之后很害怕就跑了,并将自己的篮子忘在
了那里。第二天警察找他问话,他不承认自己是凶手。
续写部分分为两段,第一段开头是:警官非常生气,他让警察再打他一顿……,所以应
该写农夫的心理活动,即他内心的恐惧以及想法等。第二段开头是:农夫很幸运。几天
后……,本段应该写事情的转机。目击证人说出了谁是真凶,坏人得到了应有的惩罚,农夫
也洗清了冤屈,证人收到大家尊敬。
续写时要求使用 5 个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语增加了写作难度,我们要熟悉所
给划线词语,恰当的时候加以运用。最后还要注意所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右;续写完
成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。按要求完成写作任务。
【范文点评】
本文描写详略得当,使用了高级词汇和高级句子。如:so … that; asked sb. to do; beat
sb. up; be sentenced to; take the great courage to do; be regarded as 等高级词汇;强调句 It was
the police officer who killed the man on the snow,定语从句 the policeman who beat up the farmer was fired 等高级句式。
5.【参考范文】
Paragraph 1:
Sandra drove while I stayed in the back seat trying to comfort Bosco. I thought we lost him a
couple of times when he was seemingly out of breath and his eyes seemed to close. By the time
we arrived, Bosco was wheeled into the animal care center to receive emergency care. Bosco was
put on oxygen and was taken good care of by staff there and we waited anxiously for the dog to
get out of danger. Rinaldi said another dog in Detroit Dog Rescue had already been named Bosco,
and she wanted this new member to have a new name for his new life.
Paragraph 2:
So Bosco is now being called Roscoe, whose critical care and recovery were estimated to be
several thousand dollars. It would be difficult for Roscoe’s new home to cover the costs as a
non-profit organization. Thankfully, many people who knew Roscoe’s story on Detroit Dog
Rescue’s Facebook page donated money to his care. With the help of supporters, Detroit Dog
Rescue managed to make it. Once Roscoe was in a stable state, Sandra and I returned to our
original mission, knowing we had already been given the chance to help one desperate soul.
【解析】
本篇书面表达是读后续写。所给文章讲述了救助小狗 Bosco 以及给他找到新家的经过。
作者和朋友 Sandra 在路上遇到了一只因为中暑而生命垂危的狗。狗的主人说因为种种原因,
她想将这只狗送出去。作者打电话给在 Detroit Dog Rescue 工作的 Kristina Rinaldi,向她说
明了情况后,Rinaldi 答应帮忙。
续写部分分为两段,第一段开头是:Sandra 开着车而我待在后座试图安抚 Bosco,再结
合 Paragraph 2 开头的内容提示可知,接下来的内容应该是去救援中心途中 Bosco 的情况,
以及到达救援中心后 Bosco 的情况(接受治疗,救援中心的工作人员给了 Bosco 一个新名字
Roscoe 等)。无论从何角度拓展,需注意与续写第二段首句呼应。第二段开头是:现在 Bosco 被称为 Roscoe,它的急救护理和恢复预计要花费几千美元。
这暗示接下来的内容可能会交代这笔钱的来历(如有好心人捐款等),还可以进一步延伸内
容, 交代一下 Roscoe 的恢复情况以及作者的感想。
续写时要注意所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右。根据所给内容和段落开头语续写,注意
连贯,使之构成一篇完整的短文。注意按要求完成写作任务。
【范文点评】
本文内容符合要求,语句严谨,层次分明,同时文中使用高级句子。I thought we lost him
a couple of times when he was seemingly out of breath and his eyes seemed to close.句中使用
when 引导的定语从句;By the time we arrived, Bosco was wheeled into the animal care center to
receive emergency care.句中使用 By the time 引导时间状语从句;Thankfully, many people who
knew Roscoe’s story on Detroit Dog Rescue’s Facebook page donated money to his care.句中使
用 who 引导定语从句。