概要写作示例与写作训练 2
【写作示例】
【原文呈现】
阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇 60 词左右的内容概要。
Three miles is quick by car, but when those three miles consist of an old wooden fence on a
cattle farm that requires a fresh coat of paint, it’s not as short of a distance. For the final week of
summer heading into my sophomore year of college, painting this fence nearly wiped my
existence. Luckily, I wasn’t alone in this task; I had the help of Rob, the farm manager. When two
people are stuck under the relentless August sun for ten hours a day, there isn’t much to do to help
pass the time. It was in this moment that I truly learned to value the art of conversation.
Standing in front of this dilapidated(荒废的) fence was the last place on Earth I wanted
to be. And spending over 50 hours with Rob with nothing to keep your mind busy but a mindless,
tedious task, all we had for amusement was conversation---No phone, no music, only your
thoughts and a little tête-à-tête(促膝长谈).
It started out simple, talks about the weather, sports, and the alike. As the week progressed,
so did our topics of discussion. From family and funny childhood stories to our hobbies and career
goals, we began to learn more about each other. I knew Rob for years, but after this job, I felt I
knew him on a different level. I’ve spent plenty of time with people whether it was going to
sporting events, movies, or concerts, but never had I spent so much time with one person with
absolutely nothing to break the silence. It was uncomfortable at first, but by the time the final
bucket of paint was emptied, I felt like I had made a new friend.
Sometimes we get caught up in trying to keep ourselves busy, entertained, or from getting
bored. So seldom do we realize that there is a deeper connection you get with people when all
you’re doing is talking, for life is a conversation--- Every song you hear, TV show you watch, or
work of art you observe, at the simplest level, someone is just trying to communicate with you. 【思维路径】
[核心内容]
本文是一篇夹叙夹议的文章,全文共四段。第一段主要介绍了事情起因,即作者在大学
二年级即将开学之前,要去和 Rod 一起粉刷一条长三英里的栅栏。第二段讲述了除了与 Rod
交谈之外的工作中的乏味之处。第三段讲述了作者在粉刷栅栏的过程中,与 Rod 交谈之后
的感受。第四段是作者的评论,并点明了文章的主题,即生活就是对话的过程。
[写作思路]
(1)理清文章的层次。本文有四段话,前三段叙述了作者的一次与 Rob 一起劳动的经
过,第四段总结了自己的感受。根据这一写作顺序,我们可以先确立缩写部分的组织结构,
即需要表述事实并同时说明作者的感受。
(2)把握叙述的特点。作者用了三段话来叙述自己的经历。第一段话是交代自己在工
作之前的想法,第二段为过程性的一段话,叙述了工作的乏味之处,第三段则叙述了在工作
过程中作者是如何与 Rob 一起克服工作的单调性的。作者的这一叙述方式能够给我们提供
一条线索,即“工作之前的想法---工作之中的感受 1---工作之中的发现---工作之中的感受 2---
工作之后的总结”。
(3)提炼文章的主题。 本文是夹叙夹议类的文章,其写作方法是“先叙后议”,所以
在阅读的过程中,我们需要先分清哪些是叙事,哪些是在讲道理。根据文章的写作特征,我
们可以发现作者在第四段中表达了文章的主题,即“生活就是对话”(Life is a conversation)。
(4)确立缩写的结构。由于本文“先叙后议”,所以在缩写的时候,我们也要确定一定
的写作顺序与文本结构。文章第一段强调“Painting this fence nearly wiped my existence”(要
点 1);第二段进一步阐述工作的乏味之处,即“All we had for amusement was conversation”
(要点 2);第三段则交代了作者与 Rob 谈话的内容及感受,即“As the week progressed, so did
our topics of discussion”(要点 3),以及“By the time the final bucket of paint was emptied, I felt
like I had made friends with one person with whom I once nearly had absolutely nothing to break
the silence(要点 4);第四段则表明了作者的写作主题,即“There is a deeper connection you
get with people when all you’re doing is talking, for life is a conversation”(要点 5)。在抓住各部分的中心后,我们就要确立各个要点的表述顺利,以理清它们之间的关系。
[参考范文]
Before my sophomore year of college, I went to paint a three-mile fence with Rob, with
whom I once nearly had nothing to break the silence ( 要 点 4 ) , which nearly wiped my
existence.(要点 1)That was because all we had for amusement was conversation.(要点 2)
However, as our topics of discussion progressed,(要点 3), I felt like I had made a new friend.
(要点 4)Finally, I realized that there is a deeper connection you get with people when all you’re
doing is talking, for life is a conversation.(要点 5)(78 words)
[范文解析]
范文把要点 1 与要点 4 的一部分进行整合,保持了叙事的连续性,即“时间---地点---人
物---经过…”这样一个连贯的表达,从而使行文更加流畅。范文用“that was because…”把
要点 2 与第一句话进行衔接,这种表述显得非常自然、流畅。范文把要点 3 与要点 4 的另外
一部分进行了整合,同时也对要点 3 进行了压缩,这样处理也符合事情发展的顺序;此外
“however”一词也使范文第三句与前半部分实现了表述的衔接。范文最后一句是结合要点 5
对整个事情进行点题,其中用“finally”实现了意义的连贯性。
[提炼归纳]
1、准确把握叙事的方式。在缩写的时候,要对叙事部分进行有效的整合和取舍,保留
中心部分。例如,范文中的前两句话就实现了对原文前半部分的压缩。同时,在保持原文的
中心不变的情况下,也要适当的调整文章的叙述的结构。例如,缩写部分的开头就不是采用
原文的开头,而是从原文叙述中的某个部分开始的。
2、 恰当进行要点的重组。“重组”策略是缩写过程中必须使用的策略。由于篇幅有限,
所以缩写不可能完全按照原文的顺序展开,因而重组就显得尤为重要。例如,范文中的第一
与第三句就实现了对要点的重组。
3、实现表述的有效衔接。语义连贯性始终是缩写的核心之一。在缩写的过程中,要实
现语义的连贯,我们就必须使用一些衔接手段。例如,范围中的 before, which, however, finally
以及 that is because 等都是有效的衔接方式。语义连贯在叙事的过程中显得更为重要,特别是对事件发展的各个细节的准确把握,这在一定程度上将决定缩写某件事情的成败。
【写作演练】
1.阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇 60 词左右的内容概要。
Sugars are popular in the processed food industry because they add taste, colour and
thickness to food products. The studies have shown that sugars can provide a source of energy.
The body breaks down the sugar into simple forms that can be readily used in the body. But too
much sugar can contribute to health problems like obesity and tooth disease.
Having too much sugar is not the only reason for obesity or being overweight,but it does add
to the amount of kilojoules in food. Eating too much of any food, without doing enough
exercise,will cause you to become overweight.
Governments in the United States and United Kingdom are waging a war on sugar in the
interests of public health. Both countries claim that the overconsumption of sugar by much of the
population is harmful to people’s health. On Thursday,the U.S government issued new dietary
guidelines that strongly recommend people receive less than 10 per cent of their daily calorie
intake from added sugar. On the same day,British Prime Minister David Cameron said he has not
ruled out the idea of a tax on sugar to encourage consumers to buy food with reduced levels of the
sweet. Politicians in the U.K. are debating how a reduction in the intake of sugar could help
reduce Britain’s rising rates of obesity.
The American and British governments both refer to a study conducted in Mexico that
showed a tax on sugary,carbonated drinks led to a reduction in consumption. The tax was carried
out on January 1,2014 and purchases of the taxed drinks went down by 12 per cent by December
of that year. Sales of mineral water increased by 4 per cent over the same period. An
alternative(可替代物) to taxing sugared drinks is to reduce the level of sugar in them. Researchers
at Queen Mary University in London say that reducing the sugar content in sugar-sweetened
drinks by 40 percent over five years could prevent one million cases of obesity in the U.K. Researchers say people might not even notice the changes.
2.阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇 60 词左右的内容概要。
“Did you hear what happened to Adam Last Friday?” Lindsey whispers to Tori. With her
eyes shining, Tori brags, “You bet I did, Sean told me two days ago.” Who are Lindsey and Tori
talking about? It just happened to be yours truly, Adam Freedman. I can tell you that what they are
saying is (a) not nice and (b) not even true. Still, Lindsey and Tori aren’t very different from most
students here at Linton High School, including me. Many of our conversations are gossip.
An important negative effect of gossip is that it can hurt the person being talked about.
Usually, gossip spreads information about a topic—breakups, trouble at home, even dropping
out—that a person would rather keep secret. The more embarrassing or shameful the secret is, the
juicier the gossip it makes. Probably the worst type of gossip is the absolute lie. People often think
of gossipers as harmless, but cruel lies can cause pain.
If we know that gossip can be harmful, then why do so many of us do it? The answer lies in
another effect of gossip: the satisfaction it gives us. Sharing the latest rumor (传言) can make a
person feel important because he or she knows something that others don’t. Similarly, hearing the
latest rumor can make a person feel like part of the “in group.”
Gossip also can have a third effect: it strengthens unwritten, unspoken rules about how
people should act. Professor David Wilson explains that gossip is important in policing behaviors
in a group. Translated into high school terms, this means that if everybody you hang around with
is laughing at what John wore or what Jane said, then you can bet that wearing or saying
something similar will get you the same kind of negative attention. This pressure will certainly
force you to pay special attention to your own words and deeds. The dos and don’ts conveyed through gossip will never show up in any student handbook.
The effects of gossip vary depending on the situation. The next time you feel the urge to
spread the latest news, think about why you want to gossip and what effects your “juicy story”
might have.
3.阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇 60 词左右的内容概要。
Before the 1830s, most newspapers were sold through yearly subscriptions(订阅) in America,
usually $ 8 to $ 10 a year. Today $ 8 or $ 10 seems a small amount of money, but at that time the
amounts were unaffordable to most citizens. Accordingly, newspapers were read almost only by
rich people in politics or the trades. In addition, most newspapers had little in them that would
appeal to a large audience. They were dull and visually unpleasant. But the revolution that was
taking place in the 1830s would change all that.
The trend, then, was toward the “penny paper”---a term referring to papers made widely
available to the public. It meant any inexpensive newspaper; perhaps more importantly it meant
newspapers that could be bought in single copies on the street.
This development did not take place overnight. It had been possible(but not easy) to buy
single copies of newspapers before 1830, but this usually meant the reader had to go down to the
printer’s office to buy a copy. Street sales were almost unknown. However, within a few years
street sales of newspapers would be commonplace in eastern cities. At first the price of single
copy was seldom a penny ---usually two or three cents was charged --- and some of the older
well-known papers charged five or six cents. But the phrase “penny paper” caught the public’s
fancy soon there would be papers that did indeed sell for only a penny.This new trend of newspapers for “the man on the street” did not begin well. Some of the
early ventures(企业)were immediate failures. Publishers already in business, people who were
owners of successful papers, had little desire to change the tradition. It took a few youthful and
daring businessmen to get the ball rolling.
4.阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇 60 词左右的内容概要。
Many Chinese students have studied English for approximately ten years, but most of them
cannot even speak English correctly or fluently. In my opinion, there are several obstacles that
have caused this to happen. The main obstacle is fear! Another is the habit of mentally translating
from Chinese to English and then to change these thoughts into spoken words and sentences.
Many of these difficulties are caused by the way Chinese people study and learn the language.
We must learn to speak as a child does. When we are learning a second language, we need to
remember how we learned our native language. Learning to understand and speak a language is
one of the first skills a child develops. How does a child learn the language? He listens for a time
and then he tries to repeat the words. Parents give great praise for the smallest effort and slightest
improvement. Therefore, the child develops courage and is excited about learning. It takes a long
time before he knows anything about grammar, spelling or formal sentence structures.
As for language teachers, they should avoid criticism and be very encouraging and generous
with praise. Criticism or pointing out faults too often causes students to lose self-confidence and
develop a fear of speaking. The best way to motivate a student is using praise.
The most important aspect of speaking is having good self-esteem. Self-esteem is how you
feel about yourself. When most Chinese people are asked how their English is, or they are told
their English is very good, they immediately respond by saying, "Oh my English is very poor." If you say this to yourself often enough, you will believe it. When someone compliments(称赞) you,
just say “thank you”.
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5.阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇 60 词左右的内容概要。
A new study warns that about thirty percent of the world’s people may not have enough
water by the year 2025.
A private American organization called Population Action International (PAI) did the new
study. It says more than 335 million people lack enough water now. The people live in 28
countries. Most of the countries are in Africa or the Middle East.
PAI researcher Robert Engelman says by the year 2025, about 3,000 million people may lack
water. At least 18 more countries are expected to have severe water problems. The demand for
water keeps increasing. Yet the amount of water on the Earth stays the same.
Mr Engelman says the population in countries that lack water is growing faster than in other
parts of the world. He says population growth in these countries will continue to increase.
The report says lack of water in the future may result in several problems. It may increase
health problems. Lack of water often means drinking water is not safe. Mr Engelman says there
are problems all over the world because of diseases, such as cholera which are carried in water.
Lack of water may also result in more international conflict. Countries may have to compete
for water in the future. Some countries now get sixty percent of their fresh water from other
countries. And the report says lack of water would affect the ability to improve their economies.
This is because new industries often need large amounts of water when they are beginning.
The Population Action International study gives several solutions to the water problem. One
way, it says, is to find ways to use water for more than one purpose. Another way is to teach people to be careful not to waste water. A third way is to use less water for agriculture. The report
also says long-term solutions to the water problem must include controls on population growth.
答案与解析
1.【参考范文】
Sugar is popular in food industry for its taste, color and thickness. But too much sugar can
cause health problems. Therefore, government in the US and the UK take measures to reduce the
use of sugar, such as having a tax on sugar, reducing the level of sugar in them. Researchers say
that the reduction of sugar play a great role in preventing obesity, which is not noticed by people.
【解析】
这是一篇说明文,文章主要说了吃大量糖对人类身体的危害,因此美国和英国政府采取
措施来减少人们购买糖。
第一步:概括每个段落的大意
第一段主要说明了糖在食物领域很受欢迎,但同时也对人类的健康带来了许多危害,可以用
Sugar is popular in food industry for its taste, color and thickness. But too much sugar can cause
health problems.表示。第三段和第四段美国和英国政府开始采取措施来减少人们对糖的使用,
糖的使用减少对抑制人类肥胖有很大的作用,但是人们很难注意到。即 Government in the US
and the UK take measures to reduce the use of sugar, such as having a tax on sugar, reducing the
level of sugar in them. Researchers say that the reduction of sugar play a great role in preventing
obesity, which is not noticed by people.第二步:连句成篇(衔接词)
1.表文章结构顺序:First of all, Firstly/First, Secondly/Second… And then, Finally, In the end, At
last
2.表并列补充关系:What is more, Besides, Moreover, Furthermore, In addition As well as, not
only…but (also), including,
3. 表 转 折 对 比 关 系 : However, On the contrary, but, Although+clause( 从 句 ), In spite
of+n/doing,On the one hand…,On the other hand… Some…,while others…,as for, so…that…
4.表因果关系:Because, As, So, Thus, Therefore, As a result
连句成文,注意使用恰当的连词进行句子之间的衔接与过渡,书写一定要规范清晰
2.【参考范文】
High school conversations are mainly gossip. Three effects are found. One is that gossip
harms people because it is often embarrassing or even false. Also, the gossipers get a sense of
belonging or even superiority through their gossip. The third effect is that gossip cause pressure in
social life, forcing people to avoid those words and behaviors in the rumor. Therefore, we are
advised to think twice before we gossip. (70words)
【解析】
这是一篇说明文。介绍了说闲话的消极影响。
第一步:阅读
1.认真阅读给定的原文材料,如果一遍不能理解,就多读两遍;阅读次数越多,你对原文的
理解就越深刻。
2.划出那些能概括文章主题思想的单词、短语或短句子;决定原文中哪些部分重要,哪些部
分次重要了;对重要部分的主要观点进行概括。
3.简要地记下主要观点——主题、标题、细节等你认为对概括概要写作重要的东西。第二步:写作步骤
1.浏览课文,找出主题:介绍了说闲话的消极影响。
2.分析文章的结构,把它分成几个部分,找出每个部分的主要思想,用你自己的文字简短地
写出来。本文主要分为一部分:High school conversations are mainly gossip. Three effects are
found.
3.写下每个主要思想的支持点,不涉及细节。支持点:1. One is that gossip harms people because
it is often embarrassing or even false. 2. Also, the gossipers get a sense of belonging or even
superiority through their gossip. 3. The third effect is that gossip cause pressure in social life,
forcing people to avoid those words and behaviors in the rumor.
4.按照逻辑顺序组织主要和相关的支持点, 使用最短的连接词进行连接。如:also,therefore
第三步:修改成文
草稿拟好以后,对它进行修改。首先,与原文比较看是否把所有重要的观点都概括了,概要
写作中的观点是否与原文中的完全一致。其次,如果出现了不必要的词汇、短语或长句子,
删除它们,保持语言简单明了。最后,检查拼写、语法和标点符号的错误。
【范文点评】
范文内容完整,要点全面,语言规范,语篇连贯,词数适当,上下文意思连贯,符合逻
辑关系。作者在范文中使用了较多主从复合句,如:One is that gossip harms people because it
is often embarrassing or even false.这句话运用了 because 引导的状语从句和 that 引导的表语从
句;本文也使用了一些固定词组,如 a sense of belonging; in the rumor 等。全文中没有中国
式英语的句式,显示了很高的驾驭英语的能力。另外,文章思路清晰、层次分明,上下句转
换自然,为文章增色添彩。
3.参考范文】
The 1830s saw the revolution that was happening in the newspaper industry. Just before then,
most newspapers had been suffering from a lack of sales due to the high prices and boring content
in them.(要点一)The “penny paper” was born at the right moment though it experienced a long process . (要点二)Soon the public were fancinated by the phrase “penny paper” for there would
be papers sold at such a low price indeed.(要点三)Traditions need to be changed, and those few
youthful and daring businessmen felt the obligation to do so.(要点四)
【解析】
写作步骤
1)细读原文,掌握文章主旨。本文为说明文。本文介绍了十九世纪三十年代美国报纸
的一次重要变革,使报纸变得大众化,普及开来。19 世纪 30 年代发生在报纸上的革命,在
此之前,大多数报纸由于价格高和内容乏味而销量低迷。虽然经历了一个漫长的过程,但“便
士报”的诞生恰逢其时很快被公众所接纳,因为它真的只卖一便士,是那些少数年轻勇敢的
商人推动了这项变革。
2)弄清结构,归纳段意。概要写作是写全文概要,不是写某一部分的概要,或者就某
些问题写出要点。因此一定要弄清文章结构,归纳文章各段大意。
3)列出原文要点。分析原文的内容和结构,将内容分项扼要表述并注意在结构上的顺
序。在此基础上选出与文章主题密切相关的部分。
4)在写作时要特别注意下面几点:
(1)概要应包括原文中的主要事实,略去不必要的细节。
(2)安排好篇幅的比例,概要应同原文保持协调,即用较多的文字写重要内容,用较少的
文字写次要内容。
(3)注意要点之间的衔接,要用适当的关联词语贯通全文,切忌只简单地写出一些互不相
干的句子,但也不要每两句之间都加关联词语,以免显得生硬。
(4)不排斥用原文的某些词句,但不要照搬原文的句子,如果不能完全用自己的话语表达,
至少对原文句子做一些同义词替换,如果结构上也能有一些转换会更好。
(5)计算词数,看是否符合规定的词数要求。
4.【参考范文】Caused by their fear and way of learning, many Chinese students cannot speak English
fluently even after ten-years' learning.( 要点 1) Actually we should learn to speak English as a
child learns his native language by listening and repeating a lot.( 要 点 2) And teachers should
praise and encourage rather than criticize students, just as parents do.(要点 3) Finally, having good
self-esteem is of vital importance in speaking English.(要点 4)
5.【参考范文】
A new study shows that about 30% of the world’s people may suffer a shortage of water in
the following few years. (要点 1)Nowadays over 335 million people in 28 countries lack enough
water, while the amount of water remains the same and the population is growing faster. (要点
2)The shortage of water will cause health problems and international conflict. (要点3) Fortunately,
ways are found to settle the water problem. (要点 4)
【解析】
这是一篇议论文。文章主要讲述目前缺水现状以及缺水会带来的问题,最后提出解决缺
水问题的方法。
文章的主要结构采用了“提出问题,分析问题,解决问题”的论述方法,主要讲目前缺水
现状以及缺水会带来的问题,最后提出解决缺水问题的方法。符合概要写作常规出题思路。
第一段为总述,讲述现象:A new study warns that about thirty percent of the world’s people
may not have enough water by the year2025.( 一项新的研究警告说,到2025年,世界上大约30%
的人可能没有足够的水。)提出了文章的话题:缺少。可以用到的词汇或句型有:about thirty
percent of the world’s people 等。第二段至第四段详细阐述了缺水现状,其中第二段提及缺水
人口数量,第三段提及与对水的需求增加相反的是水资源数量的不变性,第四段提及了人口
增长。可以用到的词汇或句式有:it says more than 335 million people lack enough water now;
the amount of water on the Earth stays the same; population growth 等。第五段至第六段的主旨
句为:The report says lack of water in the future may result in several problems. 讲述了缺水带来
的问题:健康问题,国际争端问题以及经济发展问题。可以用到的词汇或句式有:lack of water
in the future may result in several problems; increase health problems;result in more international
conflict; affect the ability to improve their economies 等。第七段主旨句为:The Population Action International study gives several solutions to the water problem. 本段讲了专家们给出了
许多解决办法,比如一水多用,不浪费水资源,减少农业用水,控制人口增长等。可以用到
的词汇或句式有:several solutions 等。
【范文点评】
高分句型 1
A new study shows that about 30% of the world’s people may suffer a shortage of water in
the following few years. (一项新的研究表明,世界上大约 30%的人将在未来几年遭受缺水。)
本句中 that 引导宾语从句。
高分句型 2
Nowadays over 335 million people in 28 countries lack enough water, while the amount of
water remains the same and the population is growing faster. (现在 28 个国家有超过 3.35 亿人缺
水,而水的数量保持不变,人口增长更快。)
本句中“while”可为并列连词,表对比关系。