概要写作示例与写作训练 6
【写作示例】
【原文呈现】
阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇 60 词左右的内容概要。
Much meaning can be conveyed, clearly, with our eyes, so it is often said that eyes can speak.
Do you have such kind of experience? In a bus you may look at stranger, but not too long.
And if he is sensing that he is being stared at, he may feel uncomfortable. The same in daily life. If
you are looked at for more than necessary, you will look at yourself up and down, to see if there is
anything wrong with you. If nothing goes wrong, you will feel angry toward others’ stare with you
that way. Eyes do speak, right?
Looking too long at someone may seem to be rude and aggressive. But things are different
when it comes to stare at the opposite sex. If a man glances at a woman for more than 10 seconds
and refuses to avert his gaze, his intentions are obvious, that is, he wishes to attract her attention,
to make her understand that he is admiring her.
However, the normal eye contact for two people engaged in conversation is that the speaker
will only look at the listener from time to time, in order to make sure that the listener does pay
attention to what the former is speaking, to tell him that he is attentive. If a speaker looks at you
continuously when speaking, as if he tries to dominate you, you will feel disconcerted. A poor liar
usually exposes himself by looking too long at the victim, since he believes in the false idea that to
look straight in the eye is a sign of honest communication. Quite the contrary. In fact, continuous
eye contact is confined to lovers only, who will enjoy looking at each other tenderly for a long
time, to show affection that words cannot express.
Evidently, eye contact should be done according to the relationship between two people and
the specific situation.
【思维路径】[核心内容]
本文是一篇说明文，全文共分五段。第一段是此篇文章的总起段，引出”eyes can speak”
这个话题。第二段以在公共汽车上和日常生活中的两个例子来验证第一段眼神能够说话这个
话题，并给出一种观点是不恰当的注视会引起被注视人的尴尬和误解。第三段介绍了一种人
们都默许并认可的长久的注视，即男女之间感情的传达的眼神交流。第四段则转折出谈话时
人们之间该有的正常的眼神交流方法方式，并再次论证了长久的注视只应存在在彼此有好感
的男女之间。第五段为本文的总结收尾段落，眼神交流的方式应随两个人之间的不同关系和
不同场景而做出相应的调整。
[写作思路]
（1）理清文章脉络、概括段落大意。理清文章脉络、概括段落大意是写摘要的基础，
同学们可以通过找主题句、分析段落的逻辑关系来梳理文章的脉络，概括大意。该文第一段
的主题句是 eyes can speak,同时也是整篇文章的中心句；第二，三，四段都是对第一段主题
句的解释和说明。其中第二段主要内容为两个例子，因此没有明显的主题句。第三段主题句
可以归纳为”look too long at the opposite sex is normal and acceptable”.第四段的中心句为”the
normal eye contact for two people engaged in conversation is that the speaker will only look at the
listener from time to time”。第五段为本文总结段落，简洁明了，故主题句即为该整个段落中
的唯一一句话，”eye contact should be done according to the relationship between two people
and the specific situation”.
（2）确定表达要点、灵活准确表达。每段的段落大意都是我们要表达的要点，这可以
确保不漏点。本文的摘要要把全文第一句作为一个要点，因为它是全文的逻辑起点。在确定
表达要点后要思考如何准确灵活表达，这是难点。因为评分标准要求完全使用自己的语言。
灵活表达的重要技巧是对原来的语言进行同义替换（paraphrase），同时要对相关内容进行整
合。第一段是总起段，内容相对简单，包含一个要点（要点 1），即“eyes can speak”。第二
段的要点即为两个例子：”being stare at in a bus”和”being looked at for more than necessary”.但
是在写摘要时没有必要把例子也写清楚，所以就可以直接说”two examples point out that”（要
点 2）。第三段中用”but”引出了要点 3，注视相同性别的人太久被认为是粗鲁和不礼貌的，
那么看异性就可以表达为”normal and acceptable”.第四段用 however 来承接出要点 4，即在谈
话时正常的眼神交流应该是怎么样的，文章中表达为” look at the listener from time to time”,可以 paraphrase 为”it is also uncomfortable for people to give unnecessary eye contact to the
listener continuously”. 最 后 一 段 中 要 点 5 为 文 章 的 总 结 性 话 语 ， 在 摘 要 中 体 现 关 键
字”relationship”和”situation”即可。
[参考范文]
People can convey meanings by eyes(要点 1)，but they will feel strange if they were stared at
too long(要点 2). In fact, only when it happens to the opposite sex, it would be considered as a
normal phenomenon(要点 3). Besides, in a conversation, it is also uncomfortable for people to
give unnecessary eye contact to the listener continuously(要点 4). Therefore, the meeting of eyes
depends on the situation and the relationship between two people(要点 5). (70words)
[范文解析]
范文把原文中的被动句要点 1 替换成主动句式以避免重复利用原文，并将要点 1 与要点
2 用连词 but 进行连接。要点 3 是将原文第三段中的第一句话和第二句话的意思用“only
when...”的句式合并成了一个句子。要点 4 是对另一个特殊场合，即对话时，进行介绍，因
此与前几个要点成并列关系，故用”besides”来承接。并且在要点 4 中，用”continuously”替
换”from time to time”。要点 5 是范文的总结部分，所以用”therefore”连接，并用”it all depends
on”替换”eye contact should be done”。
[提炼归纳]
1. 巧用句型
巧用句型不仅是原有作文题型中要求的一项提分技能，更是新题型概要写作中的一项增
分且实用的技能。将字数较多的原文缩写成 60 字左右的概要，一个重要的技巧就是学会运
用各种学过的句型，尤其是从句的使用。范文中的第一句是将原来的两个简单句”People can
convey meanings by eyes”和”people will feel strange if they were stared at too long”合并为一个
复合句”People can convey meanings by eyes，but they will feel strange if they were stared at too
long”,并且在这个复合句中又巧用了 if 引导的条件状语从句，将原文中原本复杂的例子体现
在一个简短的从句中。因此多使用不同句型的句子不仅能减少字数的使用，而且能使整个文
章更加精致和有内容。2. 语义转换
语义转换（paraphrase）是新题型概要写作中很重要的一项基本技能，因为评价标准对
“使用自己的语言进行观点的独立表达”有较高的要求。此外，这也是整个英语学习过程中
比须掌握的一项交际技能。本范文中我们将“eye contact 眼神交流”表达为“the meeting of
eyes”。同时，本文中一直出现的”too long”和”from time to time”可以转换为”continuously”,三
者实际上表达的是一个意思，都说明眼神交流的时间过长或过频繁。这可以避免重复原文内
容，使用不同的语言进行准确的表达。
【写作演练】
1.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇 60 词左右的内容概要。
Not all education can and should happen within the classroom. Sometimes, traveling is the
best form of education, as students can get a number of personal and educational benefits from
travel. From learning about other cultures first-hand to seeing where historical events took place
with their own eyes, educational travel gives students the opportunity to deepen their
understanding of art, science, history, and culture in many ways.
Educational becomes a whole new experience when students can see lots of tools and
equipment for themselves by traveling to different places. The tools and equipment could be used
by scientists decades or even centuries ago to make discoveries that make our modern world
possible. Educational travel brings the materials off the pages and into reality, allowing students to
connect themselves with them in a more meaningful way.
No matter where students go, it’s almost guaranteed that they’ll find some kind of food that is
unique to that place or done better than anywhere else. If someone gets Chicago-style pizza in
Chicago, they’re going to have a different tasting experience than they would if they were getting
the same type of thing in, say, Texas. At the same time, getting chili in Texas would be a whole
different experience from getting chili in New York or Chicago. Students can learn a lot about a
culture by what they eat on a daily basis and what they consider a special meal, so it’s good to
take a taste of the local food and learn through all of the senses.Being away from family, home, and familiar ground is a courageous and independent
adventure in its own right. Educational travel provides that opportunity to allow students to open
their minds regarding how they choose to live life, which can be extraordinarily helpful in
preparing students for college and adulthood. Traveling – with the combined social skills and
perspectives(视角) it teaches – really allows students to better understand how they can operate on
their own.
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2.阅读短文,根据短文内容写出一篇 60 词左右的内容摘要.
Some people think only school children do not agree with their parents. However, it is not
true. Communication is a problem for parents and children of all ages. If it’s hard for you to
communicate with your parents, don’t worry about it. Here is some advice for you to bridge the
generation gap.
Don’t argue with your parents. Don’t talk with your parents when you are angry. Your
parents probably won’t consider your ideas if you are shouting at them. And you can’t express
yourself well if you are angry. Go to some place to cool off. Make sure you understand why you
are unhappy. Then think about what you want to say to your parents. If you don’t think you can
speak to them at the moment, try writing a letter.
Try to reach a compromise. Perhaps you and your parents disagree on something. You can
keep your disagreement and try your best to accept each other. Michael’s mother didn’t agree with
him about buying a motorcycle. They argued over it. But they finally came to a compromise.
Michael bought the motorcycle, but only drove it on certain days.
Of course, your parents might refuse to compromise on something. In these situations, it is
especially important to show love and respect to them. Showing respect will keep your
relationship strong.
Talk about your values. The values of your parents are probably different from those of your own. Tell your parents what you care about, and why. Understanding your values might help them
see your purposes in life.
A good relationship with your parents can make you a belter and happier person. It is worth
having a try.
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3.阅读短文,根据短文内容写出一篇 60 词左右的内容摘要.
e-learning: Hazy past—better future?
How much of an effect does technology have on students’ learning? A significant one, it
seems, according to experts. Currently available technologies, the most important of which are
computers and the Internet, apparently provide a learning environment in which
problem-solving and intellectual enquiry can flourish. The process of learning in the classroom
may become significantly more effective as students can deal with information on the computer.
Or so the theory goes. My own viewpoint is rather different, I’m afraid.
Computers have been around for two decades as part of school equipment. There are, of
course, obstacles like costs to overcome, but it’s just a matter of time and effort. This is because
schools have done what every organisation does when it sees an innovation—it applies the
innovation to its existing model, which adds cost but doesn’t transform the standard classroom.
We have, during that period, spent over $60 billion on them, but in my view they seem to have
had little or no effect on learning in schools. Content is king and the mode of delivery is
irrelevant. If a teacher makes the subject matter interesting, it does not matter what, if any,
equipment is used.
However, change is on the horizon. I think student-centred learning will become the norm
and transform education. Computers will pave the way for far more independent learning.
Students who currently don’t have access to schools or teachers are now able to get online. They can study from home thanks to the fact that more learning programmes are being written
for learners who are forced by their circumstances to be self-sufficient. This would prove
especially beneficial in those areas of the world where quality education is limited or extremely
expensive. Therefore, in a few years’ time we could have a completely different conversation
about technology and its impact on learning.
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4.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇 60 词左右的内容概要。
How to Deal with Pressures at School
As a high school student, if you are feeling stressed out or frustrated by teachers,
classmates,or schoolwork，it is important to know that you aren't the only one. Believe it or not，
everyone has these feelings at some point， and everyone should learn how to deal with them
properly.
First of all， you need to keep a positive attitude and not take things to heart. That someone
got a better grade than you doesn't mean that they are smarter—perhaps they studied longer or
knew the material more. It's easy to become frustrated if you are not doing as well as your friends，
but being optimistic will help you deal with future similar situations.
Secondly， if students at school are bullying you， know when to stand up for yourself.
Don't let other classmates make you feel that you are not good enough. They are simply insecure
and do not know how to deal with the pressures of school. They are just trying to make others feel
bad， so they can feel better about themselves.
Lastly， it is necessary to keep things correctly. For any situation that is stressful， take a
second look from a different point of view. When I look back to the frustrations of my high school
days， I notice that many of them seem very unimportant to me now.
It's not easy to be confident when there are so many students who seem like they "have it all"，but try to realize that you, too, are good enough. It’s not a competition about who is smarter, more
beautiful—everyone is different—so believe your individuality.
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5.阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇 60 词左右的内容概要.
Speed-reading is a necessary skill in the Internet age. We read articles, e-mails and We Chat
quickly, trying to understand key words and the most important meaning of a certain text. Faced
with so much information from our smart phones, it would be impossible to deal if we read word
by word, line by line. However, more and more people enjoy reading slowly.
There is a book club in Wellington, New Zealand, where members meet in a cafe and turn off
their smart phones. They sink into comfortable chairs and read in silence for an hour. Unlike other
book clubs, the point of the slow reading club isn’t exchanging ideas about a certain book, but to
get away from smart phones and read in a quiet, relaxing environment. Actually, the Wellington
book club is just one example of slow-reading book clubs.
Nowadays, technology has made us unable to focus on reading. “Screens have changed our
reading patterns from the straight and information left-to-right order to a wild skimming(略读) and
skipping pattern as we hunt for important words and information. Reading a text with links leads
to weaker understanding than reading an ordinary text,” says Patrick Kingsley from a newspaper.
However, slow reading is good for readers in many ways. It sharpens the mind, improves
concentration, reduces stress levels and deepens the ability to sympathize (共鸣).Another study
last year showed that reading novels slowly helps people understand others’ mental states and
beliefs, a fundamental skill in building relationships.
Aim for 30 minutes a day, advises Kelly, a slow reader. “You can put in half an hour pretty
easily during your free moments. You pick up a meaningful book rather than start your computer
to look for your favorite site for something to pass the time,” Kelly said.
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答案与解析
1.【参考范文】
Educational travel can provide students with a number of benefits.(要点 1)First, educational
travel makes the materials on the book real, which helps students deepen their learning.(要 点
2)Second, students can taste various foods in their educational travel, thus helping them know
about different cultures.( 要 点 3)Third, educational travel encourages students to be more
independent and braver, which does good to their future.(要点 4)(60 words)
【解析】
本篇考查的作文类型是概要写作。文章的主要结构为总-分-总。主要讲教育旅游可以为
学生提供许多好处，并具体说明了这些好处是什么。符合概要写作常规出题思路。
第一段讲述教育旅游可以为学生提供许多好处。可以用到的词汇或句型有：provide sb.
with sth., a number of, benefits 等。第二段讲述教育旅行使书本上的材料真实，帮助学生加深
他们的学习。可以用到的词汇或句式有：materials, deepen, help sb. do sth.等。第三段主要讲
学生可以在他们的教育旅行中品尝各种食物，从而帮助他们了解不同的文化。可以用到的词
汇或句式有：taste, various, know about, different cultures 等。第四段讲了教育旅游鼓励学生
更加独立和勇敢，这对他们的未来有好处。可以用到的词汇或句式有：encourage sb. to do
sth., independent, do good to 等。
【高分句型一】
First, educational travel makes the materials on the book real because educational travel helps
students deepen their learning. 首先，教育性旅行使书中的材料变得真实，因为教育性旅行帮
助学生加深了他们的学习。运用 because 引导原因状语从句。
【高分句型二】Second, students can taste various foods in their educational travel so that educational travel
can help them know about different cultures. 第二，学生可以在他们的教育旅游中品尝各种食
物，这样教育旅游可以帮助他们了解不同的文化。运用 so that 引导目的状语从句。
2.【参考范文】
Problems between parents and children always exist, Here are some suggestions. First avoid
talking to your parents when you are angry. Besides, try your best to accept your parent. And also
importantly, tell your parents what's in your mind and what you value. In this way you can narrow
the gap between you and your parents and be a happy person.
【解析】
这是一篇议论文，文章描述了父母和孩子之间存在的问题，并给出了 3 点建议。
第一步：概括每个段落的大意
第一段主要说明了父母和孩子之间的问题在各个年龄都会有，并开始给出几点关于代沟
沟 通 的 建 议 。 可 以 用 Problems between parents and children always exist, Here are some
suggestions.表示。第二段给出第一个建议，第一句就给出了主旨句子 Don’t argue with your
parents. Don’t talk with your parents when you are angry.当你生气的时候不要和父母争吵，可
以用避免和父母争吵表达，即 avoid talking to your parents when you are angry。第三段和第四
段给出第二个建议：和父母达成妥协，即 try your best to accept your parent.第五段给出第三
个建议：告诉父母你的价值观和心中所想，即 tell your parents what's in your mind and what you
value.最后给出总结：和父母之间友好的关系才能让你变得开心，即 In this way you can narrow
the gap between you and your parents and be a happy person.
第二步：连句成篇（衔接词）
1.表文章结构顺序：First of all, Firstly/First, Secondly/Second… And then, Finally, In the end, At
last
2.表并列补充关系：What is more, Besides, Moreover, Furthermore, In addition As well as, not
only…but (also), including,3. 表 转 折 对 比 关 系 ： However, On the contrary, but, Although+clause( 从 句 ), In spite
of+n/doing,On the one hand…,On the other hand… Some…,while others…,as for, so…that…
4.表因果关系：Because, As, So, Thus, Therefore, As a result
连句成文，注意使用恰当的连词进行句子之间的衔接与过渡，书写一定要规范清晰
3.【参考范文】
Although experts say modern technology has a significant effect on classroom learning, the
writer holds a different view. Schools have invested much to apply computers in their classroom
teaching, but it hasn’t changed the classroom teaching because what teachers teach is more
important. But computers make it possible for those with no access to school to study on their
own.
【解析】
这是一篇概要写作。
写作步骤
1）细读原文。首先要仔细阅读短文，掌握文章主旨。文章说明了尽管专家说现代技术
对课堂学习有显著的影响，作者却持有不同的观点。学校投入了大量资金将计算机应用到课
堂教学中，但这并没有改变课堂教学，因为老师教什么更重要。但是计算机使那些不能上学
的人能够自学。
2）弄清结构，归纳段意。概要写作是写全文概要，不是写某一部分的概要，或者就某
些问题写出要点。因此一定要弄清文章结构，归纳文章各段大意。
3）列出原文要点。分析原文的内容和结构，将内容分项扼要表述并注意在结构上的顺
序。在此基础上选出与文章主题密切相关的部分。
4.【参考范文】
Every high school student feels frustrated at school sometimes and it’s necessary to learn how to handle it. Optimistic attitudes cheer you up when you are not doing well in studies. Be brave
when others bully you due to their own lack of confidence. Looking at stressful situations
differently relieves you. After all, you are unique and equally good.
【解析】
本篇书面表达是概要写作，要求概括每个高中生在学校有时都会感到沮丧，所以有必要
学会如何处理。当你学习不好时，乐观的态度会使你振作起来；当别人因为自己缺乏自信而
欺负你时要勇敢；以不同的方式看待压力会减轻你的压力。毕竟，你是独一无二的，同样优
秀。注意词数要求和使用自己的语言。
1、写之前，需要认真仔细地读几遍原文材料，让理解更深刻。
2、遵循原文的逻辑顺序，对重要部分的主题、标题、细节进行概括，全面清晰地表明
原文信息。
3、给摘要起一个好标题，比如：可以采用文中的主题句。
4、尽量使用自己的话完成，不要引用原文的句子，篇幅控制在原文的三分之一或四分
之一长。
【范文点评】
范文语言地道，语篇连贯，词数适当。作者在范文中使用了较多高级词汇和句式，高级
词汇有 cheer sb up（使某人振作起来），be necessary to do（有必要做某事），do well in (在某
方 面 做 得 好 ) ， due to （ 由 于 ） 以 及 after all （ 毕 竟 ），而 且 还 使 用 了 状 语 从 句
“Optimistic attitudes cheer you up when you are not doing well in studies.” 及
“Be brave when others bully you due to their own lack of confidence.” ， 形 式 主 语
“Every high school student feels frustrated at school sometimes and it’s necessary to learn how to
handle it.”，非谓语动词“Looking at stressful situations differently relieves you.”，全文没有语法
错误，上下句转换自然流畅。
5.【参考范文】
Though speed-reading plays an important role in the modern age, an increasing number of people prefer to read slowly. (要点 1) Actually, there are many slow reading clubs where people
put aside their smart phones and read quietly and slowly. ( 要点 2) Currently, technology makes
people less concentrated, but slow reading brings many benefits. ( 要 点 3) It is suggested that
people should spend 30 minutes every day in reading slowly. (要点 4)
【解析】
本篇书面表达是概要写作，要求概括文章要点，通读全文可知，本文主要讲述虽然现代
社会阅读速度很重要，但是人们更愿意选择慢慢地阅读，如今也有很多慢阅读俱乐部，慢阅
读有很多好处，最后文章建议每天花 30 分钟的时间慢慢地阅读。注意篇幅控制在 60 词左右。
1、写之前，需要认真仔细地读几遍原文材料，掌握文章主旨。本文主要讲述现代社会
人们更愿意选择慢阅读，有很多慢阅读俱乐部，人们可以放下手机享受安静缓慢的阅读，这
有很多好处，最后建议人们每天花 30 分钟时间享受慢阅读。
2、遵循原文的逻辑顺序，弄清结构，对重要部分的主题、标题、细节进行概括，全面
清晰地表明原文信息。
3、注意要点之间的衔接，要使用适当的关联词语贯通全文。切忌只写一些简单的互不
相干的句子。
4、不排斥用原文的某些词句，但不要照搬原文的句子，如果不能完全用自己的话表述，
至少对原文句子做一些同义词替换或者结构上的转换。
【范文点评】
范文内容完整，要点全面，语言规范，语篇连贯，词数适当，上下文意思连贯，符合逻
辑关系。作者在范文中使用了较多主从复合句，如：Actually, there are many slow reading clubs
where people put aside their smart phones and read quietly and slowly.这句话运用了 where 引导
的 定 语 从 句 ； 也 使 用 了 一 些 固 定 词 组 ， 如 play an important role; an increasing
number of ; put aside 等。全文中没有中国式英语的句式，显示了很高的驾驭英语的能力。另
外，文章思路清晰、层次分明，上下句转换自然，为文章增色添彩。
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