读后续写 样题
分析与技巧
新高考·英语
• One weekend in July, Jane and her husband, Tom, had driven three hours to camp
overnight by a lake in the forest. Unfortunately, on the way an unpleasant subject
came up and they started to quarrel. By the time they reached the lake, Jane was so
angry that she said to Tom, “I’m going to find a better spot for us to camp,” and
walked away.
• With no path to follow, Jane just walked on for quite a long time. After she had
climbed to a high place, she turned around, hoping to see the lake. To her surprise,
she saw nothing but forest and, far beyond, a snowcapped mountain top. She
suddenly realized that she was lost.
• “Tom!” she cried. “Help!”
• No reply. If only she had not left her mobile phone in that bag with Tom. Jane kept
moving, but the farther she walked, the more confused she became. As night was
beginning to fall, Jane was so tired that she had to stop for the night. Lying awake in
the dark, Jane wanted very much to be with Tom and her family. She wanted to hold
him and tell him how much she loved him.
真题分析:情节
• Jane rose at the break of day, hungry and thirsty. She could hear
water trickling (滴落) somewhere at a distance. Quickly she followed the
sound to a stream. To her great joy, she also saw some berry bushes.
She drank and ate a few berries. Never in her life had she tasted
anything better. Feeling stronger now, Jane began to walk along the
stream and hope it would lead her to the lake.
• As she picked her way carefully along the stream, Jane heard a
helicopter. Is that for me? Unfortunately, the trees made it impossible
for people to see her from above. A few minutes later, another
helicopter flew overhead. Jane took off her yellow blouse, thinking that
she should go to an open area and flag them if they came back again.
真题分析:情节
• One weekend in July, Jane and her husband, Tom, had driven three
hours to camp overnight by a lake in the forest. Unfortunately, on the
way an unpleasant subject came up and they started to quarrel. By the
time they reached the lake, Jane was so angry that she said to Tom,
“I’m going to find a better spot for us to camp,” and walked away.
• With no path to follow, Jane just walked on for quite a long time.
After she had climbed to a high place, she turned around, hoping to see
the lake. To her surprise, she saw nothing but forest and, far beyond, a
snowcapped mountain top. She suddenly realized that she was lost.
真题分析:情节
exposition
• One weekend in July, Jane and her husband, Tom, had driven three
hours to camp overnight by a lake in the forest. Unfortunately, on the
way an unpleasant subject came up and they started to quarrel. By the
time they reached the lake, Jane was so angry that she said to Tom,
“I’m going to find a better spot for us to camp,” and walked away.
• With no path to follow, Jane just walked on for quite a long time.
After she had climbed to a high place, she turned around, hoping to see
the lake. To her surprise, she saw nothing but forest and, far beyond, a
snowcapped mountain top. She suddenly realized that she was lost.
真题分析:情节
inciting incident
• One weekend in July, Jane and her husband, Tom, had driven three
hours to camp overnight by a lake in the forest. Unfortunately, on the
way an unpleasant subject came up and they started to quarrel. By the
time they reached the lake, Jane was so angry that she said to Tom,
“I’m going to find a better spot for us to camp,” and walked away.
• With no path to follow, Jane just walked on for quite a long time.
After she had climbed to a high place, she turned around, hoping to see
the lake. To her surprise, she saw nothing but forest and, far beyond, a
snowcapped mountain top. She suddenly realized that she was lost.
真题分析:情节
rising action
• “Tom!” she cried. “Help!”
• No reply. If only she had not left her mobile phone in that bag with Tom.
Jane kept moving, but the farther she walked, the more confused she
became. As night was beginning to fall, Jane was so tired that she had to
stop for the night. Lying awake in the dark, Jane wanted very much to be
with Tom and her family. She wanted to hold him and tell him how
much she loved him.
真题分析:情节
rising action
• Jane rose at the break of day, hungry and thirsty. She could hear water
trickling (滴落) somewhere at a distance. Quickly she followed the sound to
a stream. To her great joy, she also saw some berry bushes. She drank and
ate a few berries. Never in her life had she tasted anything better. Feeling
stronger now, Jane began to walk along the stream and hope it would lead
her to the lake.
• As she picked her way carefully along the stream, Jane heard a helicopter.
Is that for me? Unfortunately, the trees made it impossible for people to
see her from above. A few minutes later, another helicopter flew overhead.
Jane took off her yellow blouse, thinking that she should go to an open
area and flag them if they came back again.
真题分析:情节 rising action
• Para 1: But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark
again.
• Para 2: It was daybreak when Jane woke up.
真题分析:情节
climax
falling action(resolution)
denouement
1. What central conflicts drive the plot?
2. Are they internal (within a character) or external
(between characters ; between a character or a force)?
3. How are the conflicts resolved?
Central conflict: quarrel
Related conflict: get lost
真题分析:情节
• One weekend in July, Jane and her husband, Tom, had driven three
hours to camp overnight by a lake in the forest. Unfortunately, on the
way an unpleasant subject came up and they started to quarrel. By the
time they reached the lake, Jane was so angry that she said to Tom,
“I’m going to find a better spot for us to camp,” and walked away.
• With no path to follow, Jane just walked on for quite a long time.
After she had climbed to a high place, she turned around, hoping to see
the lake. To her surprise, she saw nothing but forest and, far beyond, a
snowcapped mountain top. She suddenly realized that she was lost.
真题分析:语言
• One weekend in July, Jane and her husband, Tom, had driven three
hours to camp overnight by a lake in the forest. Unfortunately, on the
way an unpleasant subject came up and they started to quarrel. By the
time they reached the lake, Jane was so angry that she said to Tom,
“I’m going to find a better spot for us to camp,” and walked away.
• With no path to follow, Jane just walked on for quite a long time.
After she had climbed to a high place, she turned around, hoping to see
the lake. To her surprise, she saw nothing but forest and, far beyond, a
snowcapped mountain top. She suddenly realized that she was lost.
真题分析:语言
时空背景(setting)
事件演进(events)
人物心理 (state of mind)
• “Tom!” she cried. “Help!”
• No reply. If only she had not left her mobile phone in that bag
with Tom. Jane kept moving, but the farther she walked, the
more confused she became. As night was beginning to fall, Jane
was so tired that she had to stop for the night. Lying awake in
the dark, Jane wanted very much to be with Tom and her family.
She wanted to hold him and tell him how much she loved him.
真题分析:语言
• Jane rose at the break of day, hungry and thirsty. She could hear
water trickling (滴落) somewhere at a distance. Quickly she followed
the sound to a stream. To her great joy, she also saw some berry
bushes. She drank and ate a few berries. Never in her life had she
tasted anything better. Feeling stronger now, Jane began to walk
along the stream and hope it would lead her to the lake.
• As she picked her way carefully along the stream, Jane heard a
helicopter. Is that for me? Unfortunately, the trees made it
impossible for people to see her from above. A few minutes later,
another helicopter flew overhead. Jane took off her yellow blouse,
thinking that she should go to an open area and flag them if they
came back again.
真题分析:语言
档次档次 描述描述
第五档第五档
((2121--
2525))
-与所给短文-与所给短文融洽度融洽度高,与所提供高,与所提供各段开头语衔接各段开头语衔接合理。合理。
--内容丰富内容丰富,应用了,应用了55个以上短文中标出的关键词语。个以上短文中标出的关键词语。
-所使用-所使用语法结构语法结构和和词汇词汇丰富、准确,可能有些许错误,但完全不影响意义表达。丰富、准确,可能有些许错误,但完全不影响意义表达。
-有效地使用了-有效地使用了语句间语句间的连接成分,使所续写短文结构紧凑。的连接成分,使所续写短文结构紧凑。
第四档第四档
((1616--
2020))
-与所给短文融洽度较高,与所提供各段开头语衔接较为合理。-与所给短文融洽度较高,与所提供各段开头语衔接较为合理。
-内容比较丰富,应用了-内容比较丰富,应用了55个以上短文中标出的关键词语。个以上短文中标出的关键词语。
-所使用语法结构和词汇较为丰富、准确,可能有些许错误,但不影响意义表达。-所使用语法结构和词汇较为丰富、准确,可能有些许错误,但不影响意义表达。
-比较有效地使用了语句间的连接成分,使所续写短文结构紧凑。-比较有效地使用了语句间的连接成分,使所续写短文结构紧凑。
真题分析:评分标准
档次档次 描述描述
第五档第五档
((2121--
2525))
-与所给短文-与所给短文融洽度融洽度高,与所提供高,与所提供各段开头语衔接各段开头语衔接合理。合理。
--内容丰富内容丰富,应用了,应用了55个以上短文中标出的关键词语。个以上短文中标出的关键词语。
-所使用-所使用语法结构语法结构和和词汇词汇丰富、准确,可能有些许错误,但完全不影响意义表达。丰富、准确,可能有些许错误,但完全不影响意义表达。
-有效地使用了-有效地使用了语句间语句间的连接成分,使所续写短文结构紧凑。的连接成分,使所续写短文结构紧凑。
第四档第四档
((1616--
2020))
-与所给短文融洽度较高,与所提供各段开头语衔接较为合理。-与所给短文融洽度较高,与所提供各段开头语衔接较为合理。
-内容比较丰富,应用了-内容比较丰富,应用了55个以上短文中标出的关键词语。个以上短文中标出的关键词语。
-所使用语法结构和词汇较为丰富、准确,可能有些许错误,但不影响意义表达。-所使用语法结构和词汇较为丰富、准确,可能有些许错误,但不影响意义表达。
-比较有效地使用了语句间的连接成分,使所续写短文结构紧凑。-比较有效地使用了语句间的连接成分,使所续写短文结构紧凑。
真题分析:评分标准 思维(严密连贯)
内容(丰富合理) 语言(准确生动)
文体 记叙文体。重在讲述故事,应避免轻易议论。
结构 分两段,共150词左右,两段词数最好能基本平衡,一般
应避免一段过长,一段过短的情况。
内容
构思
每段开头语已经限制了条件和情景,因此每一段的故事发
展逻辑应与短文和每段开头语相符。构思的过程中不要忘
记 inciting incident引起的矛盾冲突conflict,故事的结局要
围绕矛盾冲突的解决来写。一般来说,故事的内容以Jane
在林中历尽曲折、最终与Tom相见、两人和好为宜,以形
成一个完整的故事环。
真题分析:答题建议
What central conflicts drive the plot?
How are the conflicts resolved?
真题分析:情节
2. Related conflict: get lost
1. Central conflict: quarrel
1. Ending: get back together
2. Ending: meet each other
语言 时态上,短文叙述发生在过去的一件事情,采用过去时。应注意
多使用注重细节的描绘性、描述性的语言。要恰当使用语句连接
成分,但需要注意的是,能够完成语句连接任务的并不只有连接
词和连接性副词及词组,还包括其他许多手段,如代词(代名词、
代动词)、某些修辞手法(如重复、平行结构等)、甚至句式变换等。
续写的文气应与开头语相接。
形式 最好能紧接每段开头语续写,使开头语与续写部分形成一个完整
的段落,如果是在开头语行下方开始续写,实际上就是另外一段
了。书写应整齐工整。整洁美观的卷面永远都是赏心悦目的。不
要忘记给所用的关键词划上底线。10个关键词不必全部用到,但
最好能超过5个。
真题分析:答题建议
• But no more helicopters came and it was getting
dark again. Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the
forest. Jane, exhausted and scared, lay down near a stone,
missing her family at a distance. All the fantastic memory
crowded in and she couldn’t help crying, “Hadn’t I
quarreled with Tom, walked away and climbed to the high
place, I wouldn’t be trapped in this awful place,
confronted with the danger of dying.” She regretted with
endless anxiety, and then became asleep with shining tears
in her eyes.
真题分析:高分作文
• It was daybreak when Jane woke up. And, as luck would
have it, a helicopter just came by! Jane yelled and skipped,
waving her yellow blouse. To her great joy, the helicopter
noticed her and landed. What astounded her most was that it
was Tom who sat in the helicopter! Out rushed Tom. A huge
smile spread across Jane’s face and the couple hugged
tightly for a long time. It was the narrow escape that made
Jane perceive that love was priceless. Over the next years, a
change came over the couple. Reasoned discussion replaced
fierce arguments and politeness replaced contradiction. They
treasured the life and love more.
真题分析:高分作文
• 总体:故事内容合理,逻辑性强,语言面貌相当不错,
较好地完成了写作任务。 得分:23
• 情节:合理
• 逻辑性:与短文融洽度高; 与所提供各段开头语衔接
合理。语句间连接有效。
• 语言:行为描述,心理描写;总体说明,细节描绘。
词汇与语法结构丰富、准确,有不少具有较强表现力的
细节描述性语言。
• 关键词:7个
真题分析:习作点评
• But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again.
Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the forest. Jane,
exhausted and scared, lay down near a stone, missing her
family at a distance. All the fantastic memory crowded in
and she couldn’t help crying, “Hadn’t I quarreled with
Tom, walked away and climbed to the high place, I
wouldn’t be trapped in this awful place, confronted with
the danger of dying.” She regretted with endless anxiety,
and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes.
真题分析:高分作文(语言)
丰富的心理描写
• It was daybreak when Jane woke up. And, as luck would
have it, a helicopter just came by! Jane yelled and skipped,
waving her yellow blouse. To her great joy, the helicopter
noticed her and landed. What astounded her most was that it
was Tom who sat in the helicopter! Out rushed Tom. A huge
smile spread across Jane’s face and the couple hugged
tightly for a long time. It was the narrow escape that made
Jane perceive that love was priceless. Over the next years, a
change came over the couple. Reasoned discussion replaced
fierce arguments and politeness replaced contradiction. They
treasured the life and love more.
真题分析:高分作文(语言)
多样的句式
• It was daybreak when Jane woke up. And, as luck would
have it, a helicopter just came by! Jane yelled and skipped,
waving her yellow blouse. To her great joy, the helicopter
noticed her and landed. What astounded her most was that it
was Tom who sat in the helicopter! Out rushed Tom. A huge
smile spread across Jane’s face and the couple hugged
tightly for a long time. It was the narrow escape that made
Jane perceive that love was priceless. Over the next years, a
change came over the couple. Reasoned discussion replaced
fierce arguments and politeness replaced contradiction. They
treasured the life and love more.
真题分析:高分作文(语言)
生动的描绘
No more helicopters came and it was getting dark again.
Meanwhile, she didn’t find any helicopter coming. As far as Jane
was concerned, she felt very sad. As a result of she could not find
the lake, she was still in the forest.
It was daybreak when Jane woke up. What’s more, she didn’t
have anything to eat. In that case, she ate some berries and drank
some water in the stream. Therefore, she flagged her yellow blouse.
As a matter of fact, she thought of Tom and felt sad. To sum up, she
had a hard time in the forest. Last but not least, Jane was saved.
真题分析:衔接连贯
内在逻辑,是深层结构,不是表层结构。
• But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark
again. Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the forest.
Jane, exhausted and scared, lay down near a stone, missing
her family at a distance. All the fantastic memory crowded
in and she couldn’t help crying, “Hadn’t I quarreled with
Tom, walked away and climbed to the high place, I
wouldn’t be trapped in this awful place, confronted with
the danger of dying.” She regretted with endless anxiety,
and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes.
真题分析:衔接连贯
• But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark
again. Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the forest.
Jane, exhausted and scared, lay down near a stone, missing
her family at a distance. All the fantastic memory crowded
in and she couldn’t help crying, “Hadn’t I quarreled with
Tom, walked away and climbed to the high place, I
wouldn’t be trapped in this awful place, confronted with
the danger of dying.” She regretted with endless anxiety,
and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes.
真题分析:衔接连贯
• But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark
again. Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the forest.
Jane, exhausted and scared, lay down near a stone, missing
her family at a distance. All the fantastic memory crowded
in and she couldn’t help crying, “Hadn’t I quarreled with
Tom, walked away and climbed to the high place, I
wouldn’t be trapped in this awful place, confronted with
the danger of dying.” She regretted with endless anxiety,
and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes.
真题分析:衔接连贯
• But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark
again. Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the forest.
Jane, exhausted and scared, lay down near a stone, missing
her family at a distance. All the fantastic memory crowded
in and she couldn’t help crying, “Hadn’t I quarreled with
Tom, walked away and climbed to the high place, I
wouldn’t be trapped in this awful place, confronted with
the danger of dying.” She regretted with endless anxiety,
and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes.
真题分析:衔接连贯
衔接上文
• But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark
again. Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the forest.
Jane, exhausted and scared, lay down near a stone, missing
her family at a distance. All the fantastic memory crowded
in and she couldn’t help crying, “Hadn’t I quarreled with
Tom, walked away and climbed to the high place, I
wouldn’t be trapped in this awful place, confronted with
the danger of dying.” She regretted with endless anxiety,
and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes.
真题分析:衔接连贯
• But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark
again. Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the forest.
Jane, exhausted and scared, lay down near a stone, missing
her family at a distance. All the fantastic memory crowded
in and she couldn’t help crying, “Hadn’t I quarreled with
Tom, walked away and climbed to the high place, I
wouldn’t be trapped in this awful place, confronted with
the danger of dying.” She regretted with endless anxiety,
and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes.
真题分析:衔接连贯
• But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark
again. Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the forest.
Jane, exhausted and scared, lay down near a stone, missing
her family at a distance. All the fantastic memory crowded
in and she couldn’t help crying, “Hadn’t I quarreled with
Tom, walked away and climbed to the high place, I
wouldn’t be trapped in this awful place, confronted with
the danger of dying.” She regretted with endless anxiety,
and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes.
真题分析:衔接连贯
• But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark
again. Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the forest.
Jane, exhausted and scared, lay down near a stone, missing
her family at a distance. All the fantastic memory crowded
in and she couldn’t help crying, “Hadn’t I quarreled with
Tom, walked away and climbed to the high place, I
wouldn’t be trapped in this awful place, confronted with
the danger of dying.” She regretted with endless anxiety,
and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes.
真题分析:衔接连贯
• But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark
again. Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the forest.
Jane, exhausted and scared, lay down near a stone, missing
her family at a distance. All the fantastic memory crowded
in and she couldn’t help crying, “Hadn’t I quarreled with
Tom, walked away and climbed to the high place, I
wouldn’t be trapped in this awful place, confronted with
the danger of dying.” She regretted with endless anxiety,
and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes.
真题分析:衔接连贯
词汇与逻辑的衔接手段
备考建议
理解叙事要素,学会构思。
依据叙事要素,积累语言。
创设合理情节,模仿提升。