Keep good men company and you shall be of the number.近朱者赤,近墨者黑。
第 1 页 共 4 页
读后续写讲评导学案
Learning Aims:
By the end of this class,we will be able to
1. learn to analyze of the test.
2. know how to assess a continuation writing.
3.pay attention to the logic,coherence,accuracy and integrity of the plot and emotion in our
continuation writing.
4.improve our reading and writing skills.
Learning Important and Difficult Points:
1.How can we assess a continuation writing?
2.How can we keep the logic,coherence,accuracy and integrity of the plot and emotion in our
continuation writing ?
课前准备
一、完成试卷
二、完成读后续写
Balthazar is my pride. It is a French brasserie (啤酒店)in New York City. I have run it for
twenty years. Though it is intended to attract people from all walks of life, most of its regular
customers are those who work in the companies alongside Wall Street.
One night at Balthazar, four Wall Street businessmen ordered the restaurant's most
expensive red wine: a $2,000 bottle of Chateau Mouton Rothschild, the most famous brand of
Bordeaux(波尔多葡萄酒). One of the two waiters transferred the Bordeaux into a fancy glass
container at the waiter's counter.
Meanwhile, a young couple ordered the restaurants cheapest red wine, an $1 8 pinot noir
(黑皮诺葡萄酒).Usually, people who ordered pinot noir poured the wine directly into their
glasses, but this couple insisted the wine be poured into a fancy glass container before they
drank.
These two very different wines were now in the same containers.
Mistaking the $ 18, wine for the $2,000 Rothschild, the first waiter poured the cheap wine
for the businessmen. The businessman hosting the other three considered himself a wine expert.
He took a taste of the cheap wine in the first place, and showing off, he burst into delight about
its purity. “Fantastic!" he claimed.
The young couple, who ordered the $18 pinot noir, were then unintentionally served the
$2,000 Rothschild by the second waiter. On taking their first drink of what they believed was
cheap wine, they jokingly pretended to be drinking an expensive wine and copied all the
behaviors of a wine expert, shaking the wine glasses, observing the liquid inside and tasting it
slowly, totally fascinated.
Five minutes later, the two waiters discovered their error, and horrified, phoned me at
home.
注意:
1.所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右;
2.续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;
I rushed into my restaurant.
After comforting the waiters, I walked directly towards the businessmen with a
班级 姓名 学号 时间 评价
Keep good men company and you shall be of the number.近朱者赤,近墨者黑。
第 2 页 共 4 页
$2,000Rothschild.
课堂练习
三、读后续写
1.抓记叙文的六要素、情节线和情感线
①What did the four businessmen do at Balthazar?
How did they feel?
②What did the young couple do at Balthazar?
How did they feel?
③What did the two waiters do at Balthazar?
How did they feel?
2.根据所给段首,找出蕴含信息,展开合理想象
I rushed into my restaurant. What must be included in Para1?
After comforting the waiters, I walked
directly towards the businessmen with a
$2,000 Rothschild.
What must be included in Para2?
3.依据评价标准,给你的同学评分
读后续写评分标准
一、评分原则
1.本题总分为 25 分,按七个档次进行评分。
2.评分时,主要从内容、语言表达和篇章结构三个方面考查,具体为:
(1)续写内容的质量、续写的完整性以及与情节情感的融洽度。
(2)所使用词汇和语法结构的准确性、恰当性和多样性。
(3)上下文的衔接和全文的连贯性。
二、各档次给分范围和要求
第七档(22-25 分)
1. 创造了丰富、合理的内容,富有逻辑性,续写完整,与原文情境融洽度高。
2. 使用了多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构,表达流畅,语言错误很少,且完全不影响理解。
3.自然有效地使用了段落间、句间衔接手段,全文结构清晰,前后呼应,意义连贯。
第六档(18-21 分)
1.创造了比较丰富、合理的内容,比较有逻辑性,续写比较完整,与原文情境融洽度较高。
2. 使用了比较多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构,表达比较流畅,有个别错误,但不影响理
解。
3.比较有效地使用了语句间衔接手段,全文结构比较清晰,意义比较连贯。
第五档(15-17 分)
1.创造了基本合理的内容,有一定的逻辑性,续写基本完整,与原文情境相关。
2.使用了比较恰当的词汇和语法结构,表达方式不够多样性,表达有些许错误,但基本不
影响理解。
3.使用了语句间衔接手段,全文结构比较清晰,意义比较连贯。
第四档(11-14 分)
1.创造了基本完整的故事内容,但有的情节不够合理或逻辑性不强,与原文情境基本相关。
2.使用了简单的词汇和语法结构,有部分语言错误和不恰当之处,个别部分影响理解。
3.尚有语句衔接的意识,全文结构基本清晰,意义基本连贯。
Keep good men company and you shall be of the number.近朱者赤,近墨者黑。
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第三档(6-10 分)
1.内容和逻辑上有一些重大问题,续写不够完整,与原文有一定程度脱节。
2.所用的词汇有限,语法结构单调,错误较多且比较低级,影响理解。
3.未能有效地使用语句间衔接手段,全文结构不够清晰,意义欠连贯。
第二档(1-5 分)
1.内容和逻辑上有较多重大问题,或有少部分内容抄自原文,续写不完整,与原文情境基
本脱节。
2.所使用的词汇非常有限,语法结构单调,错误极多,严重影响理解。
3.几乎没有使用语句间衔接手段,全文结构不清晰,意义不连贯。
第一档 0 分
1、未作答:所写内容太少或无法看清以致无法评判:所写内容全部抄自原文或与题目要
求完全不相关。
作文一:
I rushed into my restaurant .On arriving my restaurant, I threw myself on a chair out of
breath. The two waiters, standing beside me silently, were looking at me frightenedly. “What?
What happened?Why did you call me in such an urgent voice?”I asked. They replied nothing,
just staring at those four businessmen and the young couple who were addicted to the tasty wine.
After a while, they said that they had mistaken the most expensive wine for the cheapest wine
and delivered the wrong order to the businessman and the young couple. Hearing their words, I
just said some words to comfort them instead of scolding them .
After comforting the waiters, I walked directly towards the businessmen with a
$2,000Rothschild. “Sir, so sorry that the waiters gave you the cheapest wine. I'm to blame for
the error.” After saying these words, I bowed to them deeply. The young couple happened to
hear my words and felt astonished .”That's nothing but a tiny error. I don't mind it. Though what
I drunk was the cheapest,I felt satisfied.The taste of wine helped me get rid of the pressure of
the work ,regardless of the price,” said one of the businessmen. Then the businessman and the
young couple continued enjoying wine as nothing had happened.
Assessment (score)
作文二:
I rushed into my restaurant. However, the whole brasserie was already in a mess. Fancy
glasses were thrown onto the floor. Bottles became the weapon of those businessmen. Waiters
hid under the counter . “Shut up!” I couldn't hold back my anger and shouted.But I soon calmed
down and realized that what really mattered was the solution to this messy situation. First,I
asked my waiters to go home ,take a good rest and forget about the event that happened just
now.
After comforting the waiters, I walked directly towards the businessmen with a
$2,000Rothschild. While I was working straight to the direction,I looked around cautiously and
soon came up with an idea. I stared at one of them who held a bottle in his hand,and the highly
lifted it up as if to hit someone. I shouted “ Don't do that any more. Rudeness is merely an
expression of fear. You could afford to buy the $2,000Rothschild.That has confirmed that you
have the ability to succeed and manage to do everything.So why don't you watch out for your
manner?” These businessmen finally realized their mistakes and volunteered to pay for the bill.
Assessment (score)
作文三:
I rushed into my restaurant. I was very anxious. To my surprise,all of the hosts were
enjoying themselves.It seemed that they didn't know what had happened. I looked for the two
Keep good men company and you shall be of the number.近朱者赤,近墨者黑。
第 4 页 共 4 页
waiters who made the fault. Soon they walked to me and said,“boss, it's all my fault. we are
willing to receive the punishment.” I just said,“ everyone will make fault.”
After comforting the waiters, I walked directly towards the businessmen with a
$2,000Rothschild. I didn't want to tell them the truth, so I said to the businessmen,“you're so
lucky you can get a a $2,000Rothschild freely”“Oh,really?Thank you.” He received the wine
and drank it.
Assessment (score)
4.自评,然后修改润色自己的作文
Sample writing:
I rushed into my restaurant. The two parties were apparently enjoying their dinner time.
The young couple were having so much fun pretending to be drinking an expensive wine, while
the businessmen were also in a good mood, mistakenly assuming they were tasting the most
famous Bordeaux. Behind the counter stood the two waiters, close to tears. They felt guilty,
wondering how they should smooth over their fault. Walking up to them, I patted their
shoulders and said, “Take it easy, guys. It happens sometimes. But do remember this lesson.”
After comforting the waiters, I walked directly towards the businessmen with a $2,000
Rothschild. I explained the whole thing and handed over the bottle to the businessmen with a
sincerely apologetic smile. “I’m terribly sorry, sirs. I wish our mistake hadn’t ruined your
night.” They looked astonished first, but then burst into laughter. Afterwards, I turned to the
young couple and decided to tell the truth, but I hesitated , just smiling, “ Have a good
evening! ” The couple felt amazed but good enough. Yes, when facing trouble, I believe
honesty is always the best solution, which is the recipe for my successful management in the
past twenty years.
5.自我总结读后续写的注意事项