2021 苏锡常镇英语一模读后续写:找错的朋友
题目:
This particular day began at seven in the morning in Casablanca (卡萨布兰
卡). My Friend Mike and I were going to visit Abdel, a young man we'd worked
with on a Volunteer project in Kenitra, an industrial city on the Morccan (摩洛
哥) coast. He'd been expecting us to arrive in Casablanca for a few days now,
and since he had no telephone, he'd written down his address and name and
told us to just show up---his mother and Sisters were always at home.
Apparently the address he had written down was hard for foreigners like
us to understand. When we got into the neighborhood, our taxi driver started
asking directions. Eventually, with the help of a policeman, we were led to a
house down a winding road. Our driver went to the door and inquired. He
came back saying Abdel's sister was in this house visiting friends and would
come along to show us where they lived.
Soon a girl of about sixteen emerged from the house. Surprisingly, she
didn't look like Abdel at all. Still, I'd seen other families where children didn't
look alike, so I didn't give it too much thought. She then brought us to a yard.
We waited in the yard while the sister went in and returned accompanied by
her mother, sisters and brother-in-law, all of whom greeted us with cautious
warmth. We were shown into the living room. The mother told us in broken
French that Abdel was out, but would be home soon. We sat on low,
cushioned seats, drinking sweet mint tea and eating sugar cookies, while the
family members sat with us and made shy, polite conversation that frequently
fell into uncomfortable silence.
An hour passed, more family members emerged from inner rooms. I was
again struck by the fact that none of them looked a thing like our fiend. After
another two hours had passed with no sign of Abdel, the family insisted on
serving us a meal in their kitchen next door. “Soon" was the only response I
got when I inquired as s to what time Abdel might come back.
注意: 续写词数应为 150 左右
Finally we heard thewords we had been waiting for from the mother.
"Pleases Abel is back in the
livingroom"
I took out the piece ofpaper Abdel had given me in Kenitra and showed it
to the new
写作指导:
Clues:
Setting: no telephone, Moroccan coast, a winding road,
Characters: Abdel ( a volunteer project), a girl of about 16
My puzzle: his sister didn’t look like him, nor did other families
Emotion: we were greeted with cautious warmth
The mother: tole us in broken French
Plot: shy, polite conversation, uncomfortable silence, wait for him
写之前我的想法:
这一家应该比较穷,因为从路很不好走,偏僻。
场景描写:
Para 1:
1.我们的急切心情
2.见面的错愕(不是朋友)
3.我解释地址错了
Para 2:
1.其他人的反应
2.对方的反应(为了把 sister 放进去,同时照应这个地方穷,设计他看不懂)
3.我对他们的感谢
结尾模式:对话+肯定+感悟
对话:提出明天送我去
我的感悟:不同的 Abdel,相同的热情
我的下水文:
Paragraph 1:
Finally we heard the words we had been waiting for from the mother,
“Please, Abdel is back in the living room.”
We sprang to our feet and entered the living
room eagerly, grouped by exciting family members. A young man greeted
us with a confused expression. God! he wasn’t Abdel! The young man hugged
me enthusiastically and asked me whether we had met somewhere. Silence
fell. Thus, I shared my story with him and told him there must have
been something wrong with the address despite the same name.
Paragraph 2:
I took out the piece of paper Abdel had given me in Kenitra and showed it
to the new Abdel.
At the moment, whispers came from the crowd, which grew into loud
chatter. Heshrugged and said he couldn’t read. Luckily, his sister exmained
my paper and found where the problem was. The very Abdel lived in the
neighbouring town. “My noblest guests, it is dark and roads are quite rough.
Why not stay here for a night?” said the young man earnestly. I replied with a
heartfelt “thank you!”, followed by thundering cheers from the crowd. Yes,
he was a different Abdel, but he showered us with as much warmth and
kindness. (170 words)
写作感悟:
1. 原文由于对话没有,我揣摩续写是不是也不要写多少对话,所以,续写只有一
个对话。
2. 原文不少句式很复杂:
例 如 : We waited in the yard while the sister went in and returned
accompanied by her mother, sisters and brother-in-law, all of whom greeted
us with cautious warmth.
We sat on low, cushioned seats, drinking sweet mint tea and eating sugar
cookies, while the family members sat with us and made shy, polite
conversation that frequently fell into uncomfortable silence.
可见:过去分词作状语,并配上定从;同时还有现在分词作伴随状语等。
因此我在写的时候也写了下面的句子:
We sprang to our feet and entered the
living room eagerly, grouped by exciting family members.
I replied with a heartfelt “thank you!”, followed by thundering cheers from
the crowd.
3.关于照应:
原文有 silence,所以: Silence fell suddenly.
原文有 windy road,所以: it is dark now and roads are quite rough.
至于原文还有不少次要人物的情绪描写,都在我的写作中渗透了,目的是体现不
同人物的情感变化。
官方答案:
Finally we heard the words we had been waiting for from the mother,
“Please, Abdel is back in the living room.” We entered the lovely living room
and a young man came forward with an uncertain expression on his face.
“ Hello, I am Abdel. ” he said cautiously. Immediately I realized there was a
mistake. “I – I’m sorry, I’m afraid you are not the Abdel we are looking for,” I
giggled nervously. For a split second no one said anything. Then Abdel
exclaimed heartily, “It doesn’t matter at all.” After hearing our story, he asked
us to show them the address.
I took out the piece of paper Abdel had given me back in Kenitra and
showed it to the new Abdel. “This is Baalal Abdel!” said the second Abdel. “We
went to school together! He lives less than a kilometer from here. I will bring
you to his house. ” After taking photos and exchanging addresses with the
family, we hugged good-bye. Then the new Abdel led us to the home of our
friend Abdel. There, I reached out and hugged him. All of us enjoyed what a
beautiful surprise and simple kindness had opened to us: warmth, friendship
and sincerity.