2021 届南通英语二模读后续写：松动的裙带
阅读下面材料, 根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段, 使之构成―篇完整的短文。
I was in my room, slowly getting ready to head to the community theater with the rest of
my family. I wasn't in the mood for being onstage.
“Kate，come here,” my mom called from down the hall.
I found my mom outside the bathroom, holding a wet book. Henry, my new stepbrother,
was nearby, working on a complicated string knot (结), as usual.
My mother gave the book a shake. “Henry's book is in the bathtub. Did you put it there?""
“Not on purpose," I said. “It was already on the edge, and it happened to fall in when I
stepped out of the tub."
My mother glared at me, something she never did before I had a stepfarmily. “You could
have picked it up," she said. "That would have been the kind thing to do."
As Henry walked ahead of us to the car, my mom took me aside. “This is our corner of the
world now，Kate,” she said. "Let 's try to make it a good one."
The community theater was busy when we got there. Theater used to be what my mom
and I did together—one play a year for our special thing. With Henry involved, it didn't seem
so special anymore.
Henry's dad, who had arrived earlier to help set up, was already in costume. “ Dear
children," he called in a theatrical voice, “Come to Father.” I thought he was a nice guy even
before he and my mother started dating. Unfortunately, I now had a stepbrother to deal with.
Soon, it was curtain time. I peeked ( 偷 看 ) out at the audience and noticed that the
darkened theatre was full. My heart beat faster. I forgot my annoyance at Henry as the lead
actress sang，“The hills are alive with the sound of music! .” Nothing compared to show nights.
Before long, it was my turn. I went onstage, song book in hand. As we kids lined up before
Henry's dad, who was playing the part of our father, I realized how poorly I'd tied the string on
my skirt which was over leggings (打底裤). I should have asked my mom for help.
注意:
1.续写词数应为 150 左右；
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
And then, suddenly, the string knot on my skirt came untied.
I shot Henry a grateful glance.
指导：
本文看似简单，但学生犯了不少错误，重点是理解上的：
难点一：Henry, my new stepbrother, was nearby, working on a complicated string knot (结),
as usual.
有的同学理解为 Henry 的工作就是 work on a string knot.
难点二：“This is our corner of the world now, Kate,” she said. “Let’s try to make it a good
one.”
有不少学生认为这个指的是下面去表演，母亲提醒我不要搞砸了。而实际上，这是告诉我，这是一
个新家，我们要营造好它。
难点三：And then, suddenly, the string knot on my skirt came untied.
有不少就看不懂这句中的 came untied，觉得读后续写出现裙子松了要掉下来，是不是不符合主
旋律。（这让我哭笑不得）
我依然用聚焦思维来解决本文：
定线索：
Henry, my new stepbrother, was nearby, working on a complicated string knot ( 结 ), as
usual.
My mother glared at me,
“This is our corner of the world now，Kate,” she said. "Let 's try to make it a good one."
Theater used to be what my mom and I did together—one play a year for our special thing.
With Henry involved, it didn't seem so special anymore.
Unfortunately, I now had a stepbrother to deal with.
Before long, it was my turn. I went onstage, song book in hand.
I realized how poorly I'd tied the string on my skirt which was over leggings (打底裤).
可见：人物为：
I, my stepbrother Henry, my mother, Henry’s dad
特别要留意情绪描写，妈妈生气，我不开心。其次是空间的变化，从家里到我最后登台了。
定主题：
主题是需要通过问题解决来体现的，本文的问题是 Henry 如何帮我解决 Knot，我非常感激。
所以我们的主题应该是妈妈说的话：“This is our corner of the world now，Kate,” she said. "Let
's try to make it a good one." 主要就是一个新家给了我温暖。
定场景和情节：
第一段：
根据第二段的 grateful 可知第一段就解决了问题
人物互动情节：
I: worried, embarrassed（套路句一句就可以了，多了要扣分）
过渡句：我如何让 Henry 注意到我的尴尬
Henry：helped me out
Others’ response: 观众，爸爸，妈妈（不一定都出现，但是总
要照顾到一个）
核心场景：
Henry helped me
第二段：
本段主要是打扫战场，我的反应和感悟
人物互动情节：
I: thanked Henry
Henry: 引出主题句
I: 强化主题句
核心场景：
I thanked Henry
可见，本文写作步骤应该是非常简单的，只要定下场景，就问题不大了。本文主要是心理活动怎么
体现。我发现最近模考卷对心理活动的考查真是太多了，因此需要你努力探索一下。
至今，还是有不少学生情节上不习惯太简单，从而无限制地加戏，譬如：第一段加上其他人对我不
理会，第二段写我的继父如何变老了等等，一方面可能是凑词数，另一方面也是不知道如何简洁导致。
下水文：
And then, suddenly, the string knot on my skirt came untied. "My God!" I felt my knees
tremble and the sweat start from my brow.(我的着急）Just at that moment, I winkedat Henry
and whispered, “Henry, my knot. Help!”（过渡句）He nodded slightly butdidn’t move at all. Was
he annoyed with the wet book? Hm, a narrow-mind man!（我的心理）Just as my mind was
spinning, Henry suddenly turned around. “My princess, a big wind was rising” He bent down
and said in a theatrical voice, “would you mind my tightening your knot?”（Henry 的反应）
I shot Henry a grateful glance. Nodding with a smile, I said calmly, “My servant, you are
very considerate.” The audience responded with understanding claps.（观众的反应）After
being offstage, I thanked Henry for his quick wit.（我的感谢）He patted me on the shoulder,
eyes sparkling with joy, “Just a small mistake. After all, this is our corner of the world.”（Henry
的反应引出主题）My vision blurring, how regretful I felt for his wet book！How lucky I was
to have new members to rely on!（我的感悟强调主题）(165 words)
总结：
我在心理活动上用到了：
疑问句：Was he annoyed with the wet book?
感叹句：Hm, a narrow-mind man!
How regretful I felt for his wet book and how lucky I was to have new members to rely on!
情绪描写：
I felt my knees tremble and the sweat start from my brow.
My eyes wet
我认为情绪描写尽量不要用套路句，用的话，点到为止，切记。有学生告诉我凑词数，我警告他，
这就是典型的画蛇添足。
人物之间的互动如何串联，我用到了时间过渡词。请考生注意：虽然看起来很简单，很不起眼，但
是它们作用特别大！
Just at that moment, I winked at Henry and whispered,...
He nodded slightly
Just as my mind was spinning
Nodding in agreement,
After being offstage
范文：
And then, suddenly, the string knot on my skirt came untied. Extremely worried that I’d
lose face in front of all the audience, I could feel my heart pounding. With both my hands
holding the song book, I was at a loss what to do, when Henry, who noticed my
embarrassment, came to my aid. He fixed my costume, tying the string with a fancy knot. He
made me a joke about me “not” knowing knots. At this, the audience broke into laughter, but
it felt OK.
I shot Henry a grateful glance. He smiled as if my mistake was no big deal. I got through
the rest of the play successfully, still a shock in my mind. After we ’ d bowed and moved
offstage, I went straight to Henry and tapped him on the arm. “Thanks,” I said genuinely. He
grinned, “Knot a problem.” Maybe it won’t be so bad to have a new person in my corner of the
world after all.（158 words)
这篇范文下面句子值得品味：
1.With both my hands holding the song book, I was at a loss what to do, when Henry, who
noticed my embarrassment, came to my aid.
用 when 串联，且过渡自然。
2.At this, the audience broke into laughter, but it felt OK.
写观众的 response，一个 At this 就妥妥过渡了。
3. I got through the rest of the play successfully, still a shock in my mind.
接下来一天我过的很好，但还是很震动。这个句子可以套用了，因为读后续写经常写接下来发生了
什么，这句直接说接下来一切顺利。
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