荆轲刺秦王话剧搞笑

荆轲刺秦王演员表：太子丹—吕升海荆轲—黄世雄嬴政—任奕达李莫愁—刘影阿二—王蔓阿三—殷于媚大臣甲—程艳辉大臣乙—冯秀秀卫兵—尹亚培旁白—厉四普 Introduction：Longlongagotherewasacrazycountry,inthiscrazycountrythereweresomecrazypeople,tryingtoshowthecrazyhistorybycrazyways.Mr.JingKewasthemostfamousswordsman（剑客）andwassenttokillkingofQing,“YingZheng”.Butfinallyhefailed.Doyouwanttoknowwhathappenedatthattime?Okay,nextshow,willtellyouthetruth…… Action1 太子丹：Mirror,mirror,tellme,whoisthemostprettymanintheworld?(It’syou,PrinceDan!)Thankumirror!I’mPrinceDan,themagicmirrorsaidIamthemostattractive(吸引人的)manintheworld.ButYingZhengisajealous(妒忌的)guy（家伙）Ifeelhewillkillmeifmirrortoldhimthetruth.Iamsoscared.SowhatcanIdo?Whereismyminister(大臣)?阿三:Honey,Iamcoming.太子丹：I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautiful、graceful(优雅的)、handsome、charming(迷人的)、cute、smartanddearestPrinceDan”!阿三：Sure,honey!Ihaveagoodidea.WecanfindaherotokillYingZheng~~~（作杀状）太子丹：Goodidea!Butwhoistherightcandidate(候选人)?阿三：Afterscreening(筛选)Ihavetwopromising(有希望的)personsonhand.OneisMissLiMoChou,theotherisMrJingKe.TomorrowtheywillPKfortheNO.1killeroftheworld.太子丹：Well,showmethewinnerassoonaspossible,OK?阿三：Yes. Action2 荆轲：AreyouLimochou?李莫愁：Yes.荆轲：OK.I’mJingke,youknow,IwillletyouknowIamthekingofthekillers’world.李莫愁：Areyouchallengingme?荆轲：Offcourse!耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁：Comeon!荆轲:Look，帅哥！（李莫愁扭头，荆轲打到李莫愁）荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：Whathappened?Why？youare使诈荆轲:Wedon'tneedanyreasontowinaperson.Don'twe?Dowe?（赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁愤怒状：you。。。。荆轲大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：Howareyou?荆柯：Fine,thankyou,andyou?太子丹：OhmyGod!Couldyougivemeaninnovative(新样式的)answerto“Howareyou”?荆柯：Sure! 太子丹：Howareyou?荆柯：Fine,thankyou,andyourwife?太子丹晕倒荆柯：Hey,man,I’mkidding!(未成年人)太子丹：Oh,I’mkiddingtoo!（毕恭毕敬）MayIhaveyournamecard,please?荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，递给太子丹上面写着：（太子丹读）Tobeornottobe,that'saquestion.阿二：Hero，weneedyourhelp.荆柯：Iambusynow!太子丹：Youcangetalotofmoney.荆柯：Iamverybusynow!阿三：IC,ID,IQcard?荆柯：Iamveryverybusynow!阿二(手指上场的美女，激动状):Look!Sheisthemostbeautifulgirlintheworld.IfyousayO.K.,sheisyours.荆柯(诚恳状)JusttellmewhatshouldIdo?Iwilldoanythingforyou. Action3 .一大臣跑在前，一大臣紧随其后，跑了一圈，便上气不接下气。大臣甲（掏出手机一看）：Hey,badluck.Iamlate.Thebonus(奖金)ofthismonthhasbeenlost.大臣乙：Iamtired.IhadbeenchattingonQQuntil1o’clocklastnight.大臣乙（看了一下大臣甲）：Good.Good.Yourskinisfine.大臣甲：Iuse“DaBao”everyday.大臣乙：IhavehearttheprinceDanagaingiveourkingsomegoodthings.Bequick,tohavealook.大臣甲：Comeon秦王上座，两个大臣各坐一边。卫兵甲：“Canwebegin？”秦王：“begin”卫兵：“LetthepeopleofJingkecomein”秦王：“Jingke.What’swrongwithyou？”荆柯：“Nothing.Nothing.Maybetherearelotsoffleas（跳蚤）onmybody“.秦王（不烦）：What’sthegoodthings，quickly！”荆柯献图，图穷匕首见，荆柯举刀刺秦，（旁白：GoGoGoOnlyOnly响起）秦王摔倒，转身逃跑，其他人抱头趴在地上。 两个人围着大臣兜圈，过了一会儿……卫兵喊道：“MrKing,drinkthemilkquickly!”扔了一奶壶，秦王接住，喝了一口，顿时，力大无比，立刻将荆柯打倒在地。秦王:Superrubbish,howdareyoukillme?荆柯:I‘msorryI’mwrongButtheprinceDantoldmetokillyou。Pleaseforgiveme!秦王：Youwillneverliveagain.Whatwouldyouliketosay?（《大话西游》主题曲响起）荆柯：Mylovelylady，Oncetherewasatruestloveputbeforemyeyes,butIdidn'tcherishit.IfGodcouldgivemeanotherchance,Iwouldsaytothegirl“Iloveyou!“Iftherehadtobealimitoftimebeforetheendoflove.Ihopeitwouldbetenthousandyears.秦王（吼道）：Soldierscarryoutandputthepigheadonthewall!!卫兵拖着荆轲离开，荆轲做挣扎状下 Thankyou!