读后续写示例与写作训练 5
【写作示例】
【原文呈现】
阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。
Steve, a twelve-year-old boy with alcoholic parents, was about to be lost forever, by the U.S.
education system. Remarkably, he could read, yet, in spite of his reading skills, Steve was failing.
He had been failing since first grade, as he was passed on from grade to grade. Steve was a big
boy, looking more like a teenager than a twelve year old, yet, Steve went unnoticed... until Miss
White.
Miss White was a smiling, young, beautiful teacher. For the first time in Steve’s young life, he
couldn’t take his eyes off his teacher; yet, still he failed. He never did his homework, and he was
always in trouble with Miss White.
In the middle of the first semester of school, the entire seventh grade was tested for basic
skills. Steve hurried through his tests, and continued to dream of other things. His heart was not in
school, but in the woods, where he often escaped alone, trying to shut out the sights, sounds and
smells of his alcoholic home.
One day, Miss White’s impatient voice broke into his daydreams.
“Steve!!” Startled, he turned to look at her.
“Pay attention!”
Steve locked his gaze on Miss White with adolescent adoration, as she began to go over the
test results for the seventh grade.
“You all did pretty well,” she told the class, “except for one boy, and it breaks my heart to tell
you this, but...” She hesitated, pinning Steve to his seat with a sharp stare, her eyes searching his
face.
“...The smartest boy in the seventh grade is failing my class!”
She just stared at Steve, as the class spun around for a good look. Steve dropped his eyes and
carefully examined his fingertips. “Steve! Please! I care about you!” Miss White reminded Steve with a louder voice.
Wow! Suddenly, Steve got it!! Someone cared about him? Someone, totally unattainable and
perfect, CARED ABOUT HIM??!!
注意：
1. 所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右；
2. 应使用 5 个以上短文标有下划线的关键词语；
3. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；
4. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词。
Paragraph 1:
Steve went home from school, thoughtful, that afternoon.…
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Paragraph 2:
Miss White, immediately, gave a quiz on the weekend homework...
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【思维路径】
[核心内容]
文本主要内容为：12 岁的男孩 Steve 有一对酗酒的父母，受家庭环境影响，他从来不做
作业，从一年级开始每次考试都不合格，直到他遇到了 Miss White。在七年级期中考试中，
全班都考得很好，只有 Steve 一人没有通过考试，Miss White 称 Steve 为全班最聪明的男孩
并告诉他她一直在关心他，这激起了一个长久以来一直被忽视的小男孩的勇气和决心。
[写作思路]
（1）明确故事人物关系（characters）。故事中主要人物为 12 岁的叛逆男孩 Steve，他
酗酒的父母 alcoholic parents 和一直关心和激励他的老师 Miss White。（2）理清故事主要事件(events)。Steve 有一对酗酒的父母；Steve 从来不做作业，考试
每次都不合格；Steve 遇到了 Miss White；全班参加了七年级的期中测试；Steve 一人没通过
考试；Miss White 通过话语激励他使他发生了改变。
（3）根据已知人物、事件及续写段落首句预测故事发展（development）。故事总体的
发展应该是 Steve 回到家后开始认真地做他的周末作业，Miss White 通过测试同学们对周末
作业的完成情况来及时表扬和证明 Steve 是一个可塑之才，从而彻底改变 Steve 的学习态度
及以后的人生方向。续写第一段：根据第二段开头句子的提示，该段续写内容最有可能与周
末作业相关。所以 Steve 回到家后，可能是转变他以前的做法，开始认真地做自己的回家作
业，也可能是仍旧把作业放一边，自己去树林里玩等。续写第二段：Miss White 马上针对学
生的周末作业做了一个小测试，发展情节可能是 Steve 认真完成并通过了测试使得所有人刮
目相看，也可能是他仍旧没有通过测试让 Miss White 失望等。
（4）结合下划线词罗列写作要点（points）。结合下划线词和文本内容，展开尽可能丰
富的想象，罗列出尽可能多的故事发展情节。例如，第一段可以通过问以下问题来获取写作
要点“What did Steve think? What did he do after he went home? Did he make a change or still
remain the same?等”第二段可以问以下问题来获取写作要点：“What did Steve behave in the
test? What score did he get? How did Miss White respond to the result?等”
[参考范文]
Steve went home from school, thoughtful, that afternoon. Walking into the house, he took
one look around and then quickly, gathered up his camping gear, a jar of peanut butter, a loaf of
bread, a bottle of water, and this time...his schoolbooks. Grim faced and determined, he headed for
the woods. Steve studied hard in the woods and finished all the homework for the weekend.
Miss White, immediately, gave a quiz on the weekend homework. Steve hurried through the
test, and was the first to hand in his paper. With a look of surprise, Miss White took his paper.
Obviously puzzled, she began to look it over. Steve walked back to his desk, his heart pounding
within his chest. Miss White’s face was in total shock! She glanced up at Steve down and up.
Suddenly, her face broke into a radiant smile. The smartest boy had just passed his first test! A
great change took place within the heart of one boy, all because of one teacher, who cared.（除给
定词外，165 words）[范文解析]
范文围绕文章的内容进行了合情合理的拓展。为了使文章显得更加有意义，范文中突出
描写了 Steve 因原文中 Miss White 给予的关注而做出了改变。因此第一段写了 Steve 回到家
后收拾了自己的生活必需品去他自己最喜爱的树林里，开始认真地写他的周末作业了。第二
段写了 Miss White 针对这个周末作业进行了一个小测试，在测试中，Steve 表现异常得好并
顺利通过了测试。最后一句是根据原文和范文的内容进行的总结，并点出了全文的主题，引
发读者思考。
[提炼归纳]
1. 合理拓展情节
读后续写首先要读通给定文本，把握故事的人物和事件。在此基础上根据每段续写开
头的提示对故事的发展作出合情合理又合乎逻辑的预测。为了将预测过程显性化，可以通过
设问的方式，将预测重点以问题的方式显示出来，以利后续写作时的信息整理和语言组织。
在开始写范文前，我们首先用 6 个问题来构思整个文章的发展。通过对这 6 个问题的可能回
答的排列组合，挑选出最符合逻辑的情节发展。实际上，原文在结尾处就已经暗示了接下来
情节发展的可能性，最有可能的就是 Steve 因为老师的话和关心而做出了改变。因此，范文
就顺藤摸瓜，描写了 Steve 彻底改变，让老师和同学刮目相看，从而突出了全文的主题。
2. 紧密联系原文内容
续写是在原文内容的基础上进一步对接下来发展情节的预测和描写。因此，续写的内容
必须与原文紧密相关。可以在情节上承接原文，也可以用特定的细节，如人物，地点，事件
等来呼应原文。在本范文中就有很多细节与原文相呼应，如原文中写到为了逃避自己酒气熏
天，乱糟糟的屋子，Steve 总是喜欢一个人在树林里（woods）闲逛或者思考。因此在范文
中 Steve 完成周末作业的地点我们也选择了他最喜欢的小树林。再例如范文中的 the smartest
boy 也是呼应了原文中 Miss White 对 Steve 的描述。
3. 有效运用连接手段
在具体的写作过程中我们要对罗列的要点进行筛选和整合，还要考虑写作要点之间连接
手段（connectives）的有效运用，例如范文中我们用了 walking into the house 来表示地点的转换，用 with a look of surprise 来表明 Steve 的表现给老师带来的吃惊。这些连接语的使用
可以使文本更加紧凑连贯。
【写作演练】
1.阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写
的词数应为 150 左右。
The little boy
A little boy selling magazines for school walked up to a house that people rarely visited. The
house was very old and shabby and the owner hardly ever came out. When he did come out, he
would not say hello to his neighbors or passers-by but simply just glare at them.
The boy knocked on the door and waited, sweating from fear of the old man. The boy’s
parents told him to stay away from the house, and a lot of the other neighborhood children were
told the same thing from their parents.
Dust found the boy lingering on and hesitating what to do. As he was ready to walk away, the
door slowly opened. “What do you want?” the old man said impatiently. The little boy was very
afraid but he had a quota(份额) to meet for school with selling the magazines. So he got up the
courage and said, “Uh, sir, I am selling these magazines and uh, I was wondering if you would
like to buy one from me.”
The old man just stared at the boy without a word. The boy could see inside the old man’s
house and saw that he had dog figurines(小雕像) on the fireplace mantle. “Do you collect dogs?”
The little boy asked. “Yes, I have many collections in my house. They are my family here and
they are all I have.” The boy then felt sorry for the man, as it seemed that he was a very lonely
soul.
“Well, I do have a magazine here for collectors. It is perfect for you. I also have one about
dogs since you like dogs so much.” The old man was ready to close the door on the boy and said,
“No, boy. I don’t need any magazines of any kind, now goodbye.”The little boy was sad that he was not going to make his quota with the sale. He was also sad
for the old man being so alone in the house that he owned. The boy went home and then had an
idea. He had a little dog figurine that he got some years ago from an aunt. The figurine did not
mean nearly as much to him since he had a real live dog and a large family.
Para 1:
The little boy headed back down to the old man’s house.
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Para 2:
From that day on something changed inside the old man.
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2.阅读下面短文， 根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。
When I was 17, I read a magazine article about a museum called the McNay Art Museum,
once the home of a watercolorist named Marian McNay. She had requested the community to turn
it into a museum upon her death. On a sunny Saturday, Sally and I drove over to the museum.
“Do you have the address?” Sally asked while we were on the way.
“No, but I will recognize it. There was a picture in the magazine” I answered confidently.
“Oh. There it is.” I pulled my car slowly over a house which seemed like a house with heavy
smell of life rather than a former residence(故居).
Surprisingly, nobody was at the gate and admission was free. We opened the door and
entered, excited. A group of people sitting around a table stopped chatting and started at us.
A sweet girl in her teens locked her eyes on us and welcomed us with a sweet smile, “Hello,
but who are you looking for?” A man stood up and said almost at the same time “May I help you?”
“No,” I said. “We’re fine.”
Tour guides got on my nervous. What if they talked a long time about a painting you were
not that interested in? Sally had gone upstairs. The people in the hall seemed very confused,
keeping their eyes on me with curiosity. What was their problem? Some nice sculptures were well
placed along the staircases(楼梯) and some paintings from Van Gogh or Picasso were hanging on
walls and I appreciated them and highly praised the most beautiful house. Suddenly a picture of a
man surrounded by a warm family caught my eyes and I also spotted the sweet girl among them.
“This is the most beautiful house I have visited.” said I, turning sharply, almost scaring the
girl standing behind me.
“The most beautiful house ? The most beautiful house!”She murmured.
“Am I at the McNay Art Museum?” asked I .
注意：
1. 所续写的短文的词数应为 150 左右；
2. 应使用 5 个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语；
3. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；
4. 续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
Paragraph 1:
She smiled, shaking her head.
Paragraph 2:
Years later, after a public speech, a woman approached and thanked me, asking whether I once entered a house , thinking it was the McNay Art Museum.
3.阅读下面材料, 根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写
的词数应为 150 左右。
'Usual boring day!' This would be the answer from Roman if somebody asked him how his
day was. These days he found everything boring, nothing excited him.
One day he was lying in his room as usual. Suddenly light went off. His room was rather hot
without an air conditioner. Though he did not want to leave his room, he had to. Unwillingly, he
left his room and came to living room. Living room was slightly cool as it had two huge windows.
His young brother was playing with his friend. They were rolling on the floor. He was
looking out for the TV remote, but couldn't find. He got up and searched it everywhere, but
remote was nowhere. He looked at his brother who was still lying on the floor playing.
He asked him, "Where is the remote?"
"Under the Sofa," his brother yelled.
He tried to look through, but it was dark. He put his hand under the sofa. He touched
something, grabbed it and took his hand out. OMG! It was a snake in his hand!
After seeing that his brother started to yell, “ Snake, snake!” Mom came as soon as she heard
their shouting. She too was horrified to see a snake. She was so scared that she even couldn’t
speak a word. Two kids were trying to hide into each other's back. “What an old trick!” Roman
thought and threw it over kids.
As the snake landed on the floor near to the kids, it started moving from left side to the right.
Only then did Roman realize that the snake was real, not a toy. He threw the snake over kids because he thought it was a fake snake and kids were playing some tricks.
This time mom almost got heart attack. Now he was scared too. The snake was only 10
meters away from kids and was staring at kids. They even couldn’t call a rescue team. There
might be some deadly damage before their arrival. There was not much time to think. It was the
time for a quick action.
Paragraph 1：
As Roman was farther from the snake, he jumped to the window and grabbed the curtain.
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Paragraph 2：
After the rescue team caught and took the snake away, everyone went inside the home.
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4.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的
词数应为 150 左右。
An 80-year-old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45-year-old highly
educated son. Suddenly, a crow rested on their window.
The father asked his son, “What’s this?” The son replied, “It is a crow.”
After a few minutes, the father asked his son for the second time, “What’s this?” The son
said, “Father, I have just now told you, it is a crow!”
After a little while, the old father again asked his son the third time, “What’s this?”
At this time, some expression of anger was felt in his son’s tone when he said to his father
with a firm reply. “It is a crow, a crow.” A little while later, the father again asked his son the
fourth time, “What’s this?”This time, the son shouted at his father, “Why do you keep asking me the same question
again and again, although I have told you so many times ‘IT IS A CROW’. Are you not able to
understand this?”
A little later the father went to his room and came back with an old diary, which he had kept
since his son was born.
On opening a page, he asked his son to read the page.
When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary:
“Today, my little son aged 3 was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the
window. My son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a
crow. I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question. I did not at all feel angry
but I rather felt love for my innocent son.”
Paragraph 1:
After reading the diary, the son burst into tears, feeling sorry for what he had done to his
father.
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Paragraph 2:
Feeling ashamed, the son got down to his knees before his father.
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5.阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。 续
写的词数应为 150 左右。
Rescue in a Bottle
Curtis Whitson had rafted (v. 乘 筏 ) down the Arroyo Seco, a river in central California, several times before.
This year, Curtis Whitson knew the water-fall was coming. He figured he would get out of
his raft into the shallow water, get down the rocks along ropes on either side of the falls, and
continue on his way, as he had on a previous trip.
But this year was different. Heavy snow and spring rains had turned the usually manageable
falls into something fierce. And this year, instead of his friends, Whitson’s companions were his
girlfriend, Krystal Ramirez, and his 13-year-old son, Hunter. As the three of them approached the
falls late in the afternoon of the third day of their camping trip, Whitson could tell from the
increasing roar of water in the narrowing canyon(峡谷) that they were in serious trouble. There
was no way they’d be able to get down the rocks as planned.
“The water was just roaring through there with tremendous force,” recalls Whitson, 45.
They had no smart phone service, and they hadn’t seen a single person in the past three days.
And Whitson knew that they’d be sharing the ground there with rattlesnakes and mountain lions.
As he was thinking what to do, Whitson hit on a bit of luck---he heard voices coming from
the other side of the falls. He yelled, but the sound of the rushing water drowned him out.
“We have to get these people a message,” Whitson thought.
He grabbed a stick and pulled out his pocketknife to carve “Help” in it. Then he tied a rope to
it so the people would know it wasn’t just any stick. He tried throwing it over the falls, but it
floated away in the wrong direction.
“We’ve got to do something!” Whitson yelled to his son. “Have we got anything else?”
Then he spotted his water bottle. Whitson grabbed it and carved “Help!”on it. Ramirez also
reminded him that he had a pen and paper in his backpack.
Whitson knew it was a slim hope. But he wrote “6-15 19:00 We are stuck here@ the
waterfall. Get help please” and pushed the note into the bottle. This time, his throw over the
waterfall was perfect.“All right, that’s all we can do,” Whitson told Hunter.
注意：
1. 所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右；
2. 续写部分分为两段，每段开头语已为你写好；
Paragraph 1:
It took 30 minutes to get back upstream to the beach where they’d had lunch.
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Paragraph 2:
The next morning, the helicopter returned.
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答案与解析
1.【参考范文 1】
The boy headed back down to the old man’s house. The thought of knocking at the old man’s
door filled the little boy with fear, though, he still knocked on the door, waiting breathlessly.
Finally, it opened, and out came the old man. Seeing the boy holding a well-wrapped dog figurine,
he looked very astonished but still glared at him without a word. Determined to break the ice, the
boy gave the old man the gift with a precious card attached, expressing his care. Deeply moved by
all the boy did, the old man could say nothing but to hug him tightly, the tears of appreciation
welling up. Out of gratitude, he bought a magazine from the boy and saw him off.
From that day on something changed inside the old man. He adopted a real live dog and
treated him as his child. It seemed that it was the company of the dog that led the lonely soul out of darkness and loneliness. Gradually, he was willing to greet others and wear a bright smile,
expressing his appreciation to life. Indeed, only when we open up the door of our heart, can we be
bathed in the brilliant sunshine and enjoy the warmth of love and care.
【参考范文 2】
The boy headed back down to the old man’s house. The dog figurine witnessed the little
boy’s ending up opening the door once more. Upon seeing the boy for a second time, the old man
couldn’t bring his anger under control any longer. “Haven’t I told you I need no magazines at all?”
He snapped at the boy. “Yes, sir.” said the little boy with an uneasy expression on his face, “But
I think you will like the figurine.” Then he handed it to the old man. Taking the figurine from the
boy’s hands, the lonely soul was so astonished that words failed to convey his emotions, tears
welling up in his eyes. “Thank you so much!” he said to the boy tenderly.
From that day on something changed inside the old man. The neighborhood always found the
old man hanging out and smiling at everyone. He showed his precious collections to children who
were now very willing to play with him. He used to collect figurines in memory of a real live dog
which had kept company with him for a long time before it died. But now, he wasn’t drowned in
the sorrows and loneliness anymore. He had realized the true spirit of life!
【解析】
本篇书面表达是读后续写。通过阅读所给文章可知，文章讲述了一个小男孩向一位孤独
的老人卖杂志，老人拒绝了，男孩看到老人收集的小狗雕像，就送给老人自己的雕像，温暖
了老人孤独的内心的故事。
（参考范文 1）续写部分分为两段，第一段开头是：The boy headed back down to the old
man’s house. ( 男孩朝老人的房子走去。)结合前文线索“The boy went home and then had an
idea. He had a little dog figurine that he got some years ago from an aunt.”可知，小男孩有一个几
年前从姑妈那里得到的小狗雕像，本段应该续写这个小男孩带着小狗雕像去送给这位孤独的
老人，描写老人因小男孩的举动而触动内心，改变了对他的态度，比如因感动而买下了小男
孩的杂志等；第二段开头是From that day on something changed inside the old man.( 从那天起，
老人的内心发生了变化。) ，因此本段应该写老人的变化，比如与前文提及内容“When he did come out, he would not say hello to his neighbors or passers-by but simply just glare at them.( 当
他出来的时候，他不会和邻居或路人打招呼，只是怒目而视。)”不同，他开始与人交流，有
了真正的宠物狗作伴，老人不再孤独等，从而升华文章主旨：敞开心扉才能沐浴在阳光下，
感受人间温暖和关爱。
（ 参考范文 2）续写部分分为两段，第一段开头是：The boy headed back down to the old
man’s house. ( 男孩朝老人的房子走去。)，结合前文伏笔“The boy went home and then had an
idea. He had a little dog figurine that he got some years ago from an aunt.”可知，小男孩有一个几
年前从姑妈那里得到的小狗雕像，本段应该续写这个小男孩带着小狗雕像去送给这位孤独的
老人时，与老人之间的交流对话，主要围绕老人对此的反应展开描写，比如从刚开始的态度
已然强硬拒绝到后来看到小狗雕像时的感动等；第二段开头是 From that day on something
changed inside the old man.( 从那天起，老人的内心发生了变化。) ，因此本段主要围绕“老
人的变化”而展开描写，比如经常出门，与小男孩甚至与其他孩子成为朋友，从而讲述他不
再因过去而悲伤，重新振作生活。
注意所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右，按要求完成写作任务。
【范文点评】
本文描写详略得当，使用了高级词汇和高级句子。如：
（参考范文 1）
1.高级词汇：knock at; glare at; well up; out of gratitude; see sb. off; treat…as; be willing to
do; be bathed in
2.高级句式：
Finally, it opened, and out came the old man. ( out came the old man 为完全倒装句式)
Seeing the boy holding a well-wrapped dog figurine, he looked very astonished but still
glared at him without a word. (seeing the boy holding a well-wrapped dog figurine 为现在分词作
状语)
Determined to break the ice, the boy gave the old man the gift with a precious card attached, expressing his care. (with a precious card attached 为 with 复合结构，即独立主格结构)
It seemed that it was the company of the dog that led the lonely soul out of darkness and
loneliness. (it was the company of the dog that led the lonely soul out of darkness and loneliness
为强调句式)
Indeed, only when we open up the door of our heart, can we be bathed in the brilliant sunshine and
enjoy the warmth of love and care.(only+时间状语从句置于句首，主句采用部分倒装结构)
（参考范文 2）
1.高级词汇：upon doing sth; not…any longer; snap at; hand sth to sb.; well up; hang out;
smile at; be willing to do; in memory of; keep company with sb.; be drowned in
2.高级句式：
Taking the figurine from the boy’s hands, the lonely soul was so astonished that words failed
to convey his emotions, tears welling up in his eyes.( taking the figurine from the boy’s hands 为
现在分词作状语；so…that 引导结果状语从句；tears welling up in his eyes 为独立主格结构)
He showed his precious collections to children who were now very willing to play with him.(who
引导限制性定语从句修饰先行词 children)
He used to collect figurines in memory of a real live dog which had kept company with him
for a long time before it died.(which 引导限制性定语从句修饰先行词 a real live dog)
2.【参考范文】
Paragraph 1:
She smiled, shaking her head. “Sorry, the McNay Art Museum is on another street.”
“What’s this place?” I asked, still confused. “It’s my home” she said with a sweet smile and her
answer shocked me.Recovering from the shock, I raced to the staircases and called Sally to come
down immediately. I pushed her towards the front door, waving at the family and asking them to
forgive us for breaking into their beautiful house. Outside, when I told Sally what had happened,
she covered her mouth, laughing. Paragraph 2:
Years later, after a public speech, a woman approached and thanked me,asking whether I
once entered a house , thinking it was the McNay Art Museum .“Yes. But how do you know? We
never told anyone.”I asked in surprise “That was my home. I was the girl saying hello to you in
the hall.”I locked my eyes on her and could figure out the familiar sweet smile. She told me she
never felt lucky before we came over and she never realized what a beautiful house she once lived
in. Her feeling about her home changed after that and she had always wanted to thank me.
【解析】
通过阅读所给文章可知，文章主要讲述了作者和朋友开车去参观麦克奈艺术博物馆，结
果错入了别人的家里，作者还毫不知情对房子的主人夸奖房子很美丽，在了解了自己误闯入
别人之后，作者和朋友请求他们的原谅。多年以后，作者再次遇到了那个房子主人，她告诉
作者，在他们来之前她从未感到幸运，她也从未意识到自己曾经住过这么漂亮的房子。从那
以后，她对自己家的感觉变了，她一直想感谢作者。
续写部分分为两段，第一段开头是：她笑了，摇了摇头。所以后文应该是讲述作者得知
房子不是麦克奈艺术博物馆后的反应，他们为自己闯入了他们的房子而向主人道歉；第二段
开头是：多年以后，在一次公开演讲之后，一位女士走过来感谢我，并问我是否曾经进过一
所房子，以为那是麦克奈艺术博物馆。本段应该写房子的主人和作者再次重逢后，告诉作者
的话。她告诉作者，在他们来之前她从未感到幸运，她也从未意识到自己曾经住过这么漂亮
的房子。从那以后，她对自己家的感觉变了，她一直想感谢作者。
续写时要求使用 5 个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语增加了写作难度，我们要熟悉所
给划线词语，恰当的时候加以运用。最后还要注意所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右；续写完
成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。按要求完成写作任务。
【范文点评】
本文描写详略得当，使用了高级词汇和高级句子。如：recover from，forgive，figure out
等高级词汇；Recovering from the shock, I raced to the staircases and called Sally to come down
immediately.非谓语动词的运用；She told me she never felt lucky before we came over and she never realized what a beautiful house she once lived in.运用宾语从句等高级句式。
3.【参考范文 10】
As Roman was farther from the snake, he jumped to the window and grabbed the curtain. He
pulled it so hard that curtain ended up landing in his hand. Then without waiting a second, he
threw the curtain over the snake. When the snake came under the curtain, he grabbed two kids by
their hands and brought them out of the room. He again went inside and took his mother to the
front yard. Mom was shaking like a leaf and kids were sweating hard. Later, he called the rescue
team from his cell phone.
After the rescue team caught and took the snake away, everyone went inside the home.
Roman went back to his room and tried to sleep, but couldn't, so he went upstairs to living room
where he found his brother was watching cartoon. He sat next to his brother and his cell phone
beeped. It was another text from his friend asking how his day was. Roman slowly typed:
"Jaw-breaking day". Then he kept his mobile aside and dragged his brother's head to his chest and
started to play with his hair gently. Then he whispered something in his ear which sounds
something like "Sorry".
【参考范文 2】
As Roman was farther from the snake, he jumped to the window and grabbed the curtain.
He pulled it so hard that curtain was torn off immediately. Without hesitation, he threw the curtain
at the moving snake and covered it. Then he grabbed two extremely-frightened kids by their arms
and pushed them out of room. The moment the kids went out, they started screaming. Roman went
inside the room again and brought his mom out, who was standing still, frozen with fear. Later, he
called the rescue team.
After the rescue team caught and took the snake away, everyone went inside the home.
Everything returned to normal except that the two kids were still scared. Roman felt guilty and
even angry with himself. How could he have thrown the snake to two kids. But for the quick
action, it would have hurt them! He went up to the kids, patting them on the head, and said
carefully, “I’m so sorry. I mistook it for a fake one. Well….” After a short pause, he said in an excited voice, “Shall we play some game together now?” The kids burst into a smile. “What a
thrilling day!” Roman texted his friend later that day.
【解析】
本文是一篇读后续写。读后续写一般要求学生阅读一篇记叙文，然后发挥想象，运用自
己所学的英语知识去续写一篇中心思想跟全文一致、合乎情理的记叙文。本文的中心思想是：
一天，罗曼感到很无聊，来到客厅里乘凉，他的弟弟和朋友玩，罗曼错把一条蛇当做遥控器
扔向了孩子们，罗曼必须采取措施把蛇弄走。考生在写作的过程中要注意：要根据以上内容
写出罗曼如何救孩子的。本文要使用一般过去时。写作时注意准确地运用时态，使上下文意
思连贯，符合逻辑关系，尽量使用自己熟悉的单词句式，同时也要注意使用高级词汇和高级
句型使文章显得更有档次。特别注意在选择句式时要赋予变化。
【范文点评】
本篇作文要点齐全，结构完整，条理清晰，应用了较多的语法结构和词汇，When the snake
came under the curtain, he grabbed two kids by their hands and brought them out of the room.使
用了 when 引导时间状语从句；Roman went back to his room and tried to sleep, but couldn't, so
he went upstairs to living room where he found his brother was watching cartoon.使用了 where 引
导定语从句，熟练地使用了语句间的连接成分，使整个文章结构紧凑，很好地完成了写作任
务。
4.【参考范文】
After reading the diary, the son burst into tears, feeling sorry for what he had done to his father.
He lost his patience with his father when he was asked the same question for the fourth time.
However, compared with him, his father was patient even though he asked even 23 times. By
comparison, the son began to reflect on his own behavior, admitting his own mistake.
Feeling ashamed, the son got down to his knees before his father. He made an apology to
his father, begging his father to forgive him. The father gave him a hug and all old memories came
crowding in. It was his father that showed great concern about him. Never would he forget the
days when his father used to attend to him with great care and love. How lucky he was to be blessed with such a great father! He promised that he would take care of his father the way he was
treated by his father.
【解析】
通过阅读所给文章可知，本文讲述了父亲问了儿子四次“这是什么”，儿子回答是乌鸦后
开始厌烦。父亲拿出以前记录不厌其烦回答儿子 23 遍同样问题的日记让儿子看。
根据提示内容可知，续写第一段要写儿子读完日记后的感受，可以描述儿子看完日记后
对自己之前的态度感到了后悔和自责。第二段写读完日记后的做法，可以描述儿子感到惭愧
后向父亲道歉，恳求父亲的原谅，以后会像父亲对待自己那样孝敬尊敬父亲。最后还要注意
所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右。
【范文点评】
续写内容完整，层次分明，结构紧凑，表达准确。另外全文中没有中国式英语的句式，
显示了很高的驾驭英语的能力。作者在范文中使用了较多高级词汇，如：be filled with tears，
used to do，without feeling irritation， made an apology to，afford to 等。强调句：It was his
father that showed great concern about him.宾语从句： He promised that he would take care of
his father the way he was treated by his father.
5.【参考范文】
Paragraph I:
It took 30 minutes to get back upstream to the beach where they’d had lunch. With no
expectation that their message in the bottle would find its way to anyone, they prepared to spend a
safe night there. As the evening wore on, they decided they probably weren’t going to get rescued
that night, so they pulled out their sleeping bags. Before turning in, Ramirez added wood to the
fire to keep the mountain lions away. However, just after midnight, they heard a helicopter
hovering above them. Wild with joy, they waved and yelled like crazy. Unfortunately, the
darkness drowned everything. The helicopter circled and got back. The first rescue was in vain.
Paragraph 2:The next morning, the helicopter returned. After the three were spotted, the helicopter
lowered a crew member on a cable. The rescuers lifted them out of the mountain. It was not long
before they were taken to safety. That was a moment of pure happiness as the three chatted with
the rescue workers. Just at that time Whitson learned that a hiker spotted the bottle with the
message asking for help. And it was exactly that bottle that saved them all! Together, they were
amazed at the unlikelihood of it all.
【解析】
本篇书面表达是读后续写。通过阅读所给文章可知，Curtis Whitson 以前顺着 Arroyo Seco
河流乘筏漂流过几次，但是今年有些不一样，他带着儿子和女朋友在露营旅行中被困在水流
湍急的瀑布中，他写了求救信息放入饮料瓶子里，扔过瀑布。
续写部分分为两段，第一段开头是：他们花了 30 分钟才回到上游吃午饭的岸边……，
所以本段应该写他们不知道求救信息是否有用，到达上游的岸边后如何度过夜晚，结合下一
段首句“第二天早上，直升机返回”可知，本段应该还有直升机来营救他们等内容；第二段开
头是：第二天早上，直升机返回……本段应该写直升机返回后发现他们并成功营救出他们，
还应交代直升机如何知道他们被困在这里等内容。
续写时要注意所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右，按要求完成写作任务。
【范文点评】
本文描写详略得当，使用了高级词汇和高级句子。如：add … to，be in vain，ask for 等
高级词汇；It took 30 minutes to get back upstream to the beach where they’d had lunch.中 where
引导的限制性定语从句；As the evening wore on, they decided they probably weren’t going to
get rescued that night, so they pulled out their sleeping bags. 中 As 引导的状语从句；And it was
exactly that bottle that saved them all! 使用 it was…that…强调句型等高级句式。
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