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第五讲 怎样获取“印象分”——段落要“清”，层次要“明”
书面表达是主观题，阅卷时率先进入老师眼帘的是卷面和文章结构。因此，除了卷面整洁外，还要注意段落写作，做到主题突出、结构合理、层次清晰，获取阅卷老师的印象分。
[写作技法指导]
进行构段谋篇层次上的写作训练，是写好文章的关键。不仅要考虑文章结构，还要考虑适当充实内容，并解决结构重复、语言冗余等问题。下面从三个角度加以介绍，以帮助同学们提高写作能力。
一、合理分段，层次清晰
合理安排文章的结构。一篇文章通常可以分为三部分，即开头、正文和结尾。近几年高考作文范文及高分作文，绝大多数为2～3段，还有个别范文为4段。高考范文为一个段落的，在阅卷老师看来比不上段落层次清晰的文章。请看下面2017年全国卷Ⅱ的一篇考生作文：
Dear Henry，
I’m Li Hua, one of your students. I’m writing to invite you to visit the papercutting exhibition.Papercutting is one of Chinese traditions and I’m sure you will like it.The exhibition will be held in the local museum next Saturday.Some famous Chinese artists will perform on that day. Meanwhile, some beautiful papercutting works, collected from all over the country，will be exhibited there.If you like, you can also join in papercutting.I’m sure it will be an unforgettable experience for you.I’m looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours，
Li Hua
上面的作文语言准确，而且使用了非谓语动词、复合句(包括主语从句、状语从句、独立主格结构)等，总体来说是一篇相当不错的作文。但是，文章没有分段，缺少框架意识，把所有内容混搭在一起，给阅卷老师判卷带来了困难，从而影响了得分。
如果我们把该文分成三段，前两句为第一段，简要说明要举行摄影展以及主题；后两句为第三段，对对方来参加比赛提出期待；中间为第二段，对要点进行详细地阐述。这样段落分明、结构清晰，自然会受到阅卷老师的青睐，起评分自然就会高。当然，如果我们再对句子进行一下整合会更好。请看整合后的文章：
Dear Henry，
I’m Li Hua, one of your students.I’m writing to invite you to attend the Chinese papercutting art exhibition.Papercutting is a traditional art form in China, which has a history of more than 1，500 years, and I’m sure you will like it.
The exhibition will be held in the local museum from 8：00 am to 5：00 pm next Saturday.Some famous Chinese artists will perform on that day. Meanwhile, some beautiful paper
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cutting works, collected from all over the country，will be on show.If you are interested in the Chinese folk art, you can also join in papercutting.I’m sure it will be an unforgettable experience for you.
Looking forward to your early reply.
Yours，
Li Hua
由于近几年高考全国卷的书面表达部分基本都是书信，字数均要求100左右。我们不妨可以把书信按照传统的“三段式”进行划分，有时也可分为四段。按照时间、空间或其他逻辑顺序把相关联的内容安排在相应的段落内，使层次更清晰，结构更合理。
书信最显著的特点除格式外，就是开头段和结尾段。下面我们主要介绍一下书信的开头和结尾。
1.常见书信开头段的写法——开门见山
英语书信的特点是开门见山，用简洁的语言引出文章的主题，使读者清楚文章要说什么。
①I am delighted to know you are interested in Tang poems. Now I’m writing to tell you the plan for the next class. (2017·全国卷Ⅰ)
②I’d like to ask you to write an article for our school’s English newspaper. (2015·全国卷Ⅰ)
2.常见书信结尾段的写法——表示期待
在书信的结尾处我们常使用一些功能句式，向对方表示友善的感谢或亲切的问候，表达愿望或期待等。
①Looking forward to your early reply. (2017·全国卷Ⅱ)
②Hope to hear from you soon. (2016·全国卷Ⅱ)
③I’m looking forward to hearing from you. (2015·全国卷Ⅰ)
二、合并调整，句式多样
在连句成文时，还会出现句式单调、结构重复或语言冗余等问题。一个句子独立来看是好句子，但若置于篇章之中未必是适合行文的好句子。因此，需要对这些句子进行适当调整，完善表达。请看下面的一个片段：
First，you can try to communicate with your parents，and you can communicate with your teachers and friends as well.You can get along better with them in order that you can let out your anger.You will not hurt them or yourself if you do so.Second，it is important to do regular exercise.You can play football or basketball.Third，it is important to keep high mood.You should have good mood every day.You should also renew your spirits and release your stress.You can have a good attitude towards life and enjoy your beautiful life.
这是未加润色而直接合并要点句凑成的问题段落，问题主要表现在表达单调，简单句过多，主要是you can...，you should...，it is important...，这与“句式多样”的要求相去甚远。
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为避免此类问题，我们可对句子进行优化组合。
句1和句2可以进行合并，即First，you can try to communicate with your parents，teachers and friends and get along better with them in order that you can let out your anger.；
句3前增加In this way，即In this way，you will not hurt them or yourself.；
句4和句5进行合并，同时用of importance替换important，即Second，it is of importance to do regular exercise，such as playing football or basketball.；
句6改变句子开头方式，即Keeping high mood is good for our mental health.；
句7、8、9也可合并，即You should have good mood every day，renew your spirits and release your stress so that you can have a good attitude towards life and enjoy your beautiful life.。
通过以上调整，整个段落长短句结合，句子个数减少了，但语句表现力和凝聚力却增强了。对文章的润色加工，考生要把握以下原则：
1.短语优先原则。在写作中考生要坚持短语优先的原则，考生使用短语有两个好处：一是能增加句子的亮点；二是在汉语提示少、关键时刻思维短路时，短语可以补救。因此，在写作时，考生应该学会恰当地运用各类短语，为书面表达增加亮点。
2.句式多变原则。考生一定要注意使用多种句式，避免采用单一的句子结构，切记不要让there be，and，have，think等常见词汇泛滥。书面表达的句子并非越长越好，有时，一个短小精辟的句子也可以起到画龙点睛的作用，因此书面表达的写作讲究长短句结合，各种句式交错使用。如果做到简单句、并列句、三大从句、非谓语动词交替使用，那么文章结构就显得错落有致，表达效果突出。此外，在书面表达中考生若能恰当使用非谓语结构、倒装句、with的复合结构等，必然能得高分。
[应用落实体验]
A
(2017·福州外国语学校高三适应性考试)每年都有许多人出国旅游，一些人的不文明行为引起了社会的广泛关注。某英语报社正在举行以“文明出国旅游”为主题的讨论。假定你是李华，请你给报社专栏编辑写一封信，呼吁大家做文明游客。要点如下：
1.尊重习俗；
2．不高声喧哗；
3．其他。
注意：1.词数100左右；
2.可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯；
3.开头和结尾已给出，不计入总词数。
Dear Editor，
I’ve read your discussion on how to behave properly when traveling abroad.________________________________________________________________________
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________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Yours，
Li Hua
[考生作文]
Dear__Editor，
I’ve__read__your__discussion__on__how__to__behave__properly__when__traveling__abroad.
Every year, a lot of people will go abroad to travel. Some people’s impolite behaviors caused the attention of the society. We should be cautious about how we act. How to be a civilized tourist has become a heated topic. I think that we should respect and follow local customs. We shouldn’t talk loudly in public places to avoid disturbing others. We should be aware that queue jumping is unacceptable in many countries. We should remember that we are representing our country while we are traveling abroad. If we can do these，we can enjoy our trip abroad and have beautiful memories as well.
Yours，
Li__Hua
[段落升格作文]
Dear__Editor，
I’ve__read__your__discussion__on__how__to__behave__properly__when__traveling__abroad.
Every year, a great many holidaymakers go abroad for sightseeing and relaxation. While they are enjoying themselves, some of them behave rudely. How to be a civilized tourist has become a heated topic.
In my opinion, it is necessary to watch our manners. First, we must respect and follow local customs. Besides, we’d better not talk loudly in public places to avoid disturbance to others. Also, be aware that queue jumping is unacceptable in many countries. More importantly, we should bear in mind that we are representing our country while abroad, so we need to be cautious about how we act.
Only in this way can we enjoy our trip abroad and have beautiful memories as well.
Yours，
Li__Hua
B
(2017·南宁适应性检测)假定你是李华，你的美国笔友 David 对你校开设的一些选修课程(optional courses)非常感兴趣，
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来信向你询问相关事宜。请根据以下内容提示给他写封回信。
1．选修课程包括：英语戏剧、模型制作(model making)等；
2．每门课程的优点；
3．你希望增加的课程及理由。
注意：1.词数 100 左右；
2．可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯；
3．开头和结尾已给出，不计入总词数。
Dear David，
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Looking forward to your reply.
Yours，
Li Hua
[考生作文]
Dear__David，
I’m glad that you’re interested in optional courses in our school. Here is some information about each course. Option courses contain English drama and model making. If you are interested in science, you can choose model making. If you want to practice your oral English, you can choose English drama.In model making you can learn a lot knowledge about science.In English drama you can learn about different characters and also learn how to perform them. Besides, in model making you can learn more about teamwork. I suggest adding a music lesson. Lots of students are suffering from the stress of study. It is relaxing for them to play musical instruments.
Looking__forward__to__your__reply.
Yours，
Li__Hua
[段落升格作文]
Dear__David，
I’m glad that you’re interested in optional courses in our school. Here is some information about each course.
If you are keen on science, model making is definitely your favorite. Students can get to know more about science, which will greatly arouse their interest. Besides, you can learn more about teamwork. If you want to practice your oral English, you can take a course on English
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drama. When you are challenging different characters, you also learn how to perform them.
In my opinion, I suggest adding a music course. Lots of students are suffering from the stress of study. It is relaxing for them to play musical instruments.
Looking__forward__to__your__reply.
Yours，
Li__Hua
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